Tagged

Today I was tagged by Soccer Dad, which is kind of a good thing because I don't think I have ever really been tagged before, and I was beginning to think that I wasn't a real blogger because I haven't ever been tagged. And, well, I have read blogs where bloggers have said "everyone reading this should consider themselves tagged," but really, I don't consider myself tagged, because I really feel like an uninvited party guest unless I get a formal invitation to participate in things like that.

Anyway, if you want to find out more about who tagged me, and you really should, because he is a very good read, and because he lists me as a humor blog, which boosts my ego, so you should go here. Soccer Dad once described me as:

"the exact opposite of me in a number of ways - She's blue in a red state from the western end of I-70 and I'm red in a blue state at the eastern end of I-70."

My favorite recent post of Soccer Dad's is this one which talks about Harry Potter plot development.

Well, anyway, I guess I should get to the point, and to the tag.

The Rules are:Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

So, my eight things:

• At 32 years old, I am the youngest person at my place of employment by fifteen years, and one example of the generation gap is, I am the only employee that uses email for memos, and it drives me crazy-nuts to get a paper memo. (All that wasted paper!) So, at least three times a week, I grind my teeth because of memos.
• I feel like I am the type of person that should like puzzles. I mean, I can sit for hours trying out all sorts of different shades of a colors for a color block on a tri-fold pamphlet and think that I had a successful day. Which seems like the same kind of activity as a puzzle. But, it's not. Two minutes of a puzzle and I am done. It's like someone already had something done, and then decided to mess it all up. Why do that?
• I love to read cookbooks and recipes on the internet, but I rarely actually follow a recipe.
• I love white water river rafting, and if I could have a summer vacation college student-style again, I would be a river raft guide.
• I used to mock women who wore flip-flops with dresses or other professional clothing. But, now I wear them too. I know, I hang my head in shame.
• I drove a car in college that was held together by wire, chewing gum, and faith. I still miss that car, and my newest car, a station wagon, is a tribute to that car.
• I have curtains and a rod that I bought almost a year ago to put in my bedroom and I haven't hung them because I am not quite sure how. When I do figure them out, I am going to re-arrange everything in my room around the curtains.
• I apply for a new job every time my boss goes out of town. He is gone next week, and will be gone again in August.

And now I need to get back to work, but I will be taging my eight bloggers soon!

Today was First Day to Wear New Khaki Pants Day. Today was also, The Amazing Toner Explosion Day, and The Permanent Ink Fountain Pen Massive Gooey Malfunction Day.

Who knew?

Green Day

Sometimes, when I listen to Green Day, I get tired. Because seriously, how long can people be expected to sustain that much anger? And don't they ever get tired of being so angry?

But some days, Green Day is just the right amount of angry to make me not tired any more.

Midsummer

As you have surely noticed, the nights are getting shorter, the days hotter, and the required clothing necessary for public decency is getting less, and less. This is not a new phenomena. Even Shakespeare noted it, much more poetically than I will ever be able to pretend, in his tale about the one of the few nights in the year where mysterious, magical, sometimes spooky, but always enchanting beings can interact with mankind. (The other three nights are the other solstice, Mid-Winter's Eve, and the cross-quarter days, All Hallow's Eve, and Beltane, also known as May Day.)

I have blogged in the past about the importance of Midsummer, but, that was a year ago, and perhaps you have forgotten everything that needs to be done to get ready. It's actually not much, just clean house, gather wood for bonfires, take naps now so you can stay up late on a weeknight... but anyway here is a short list of traditions that you can try. If you aren't afraid to go out to play with all the fairies, that is.

• Traditionally, you are supposed to stay up to midnight on the night before solstice, the 20th, to welcome the day of sunlight, and then the night of Solstice burn fires to say good-bye to the sun.


• If you don't want to burn bonfires, you can just burn herbs at midnight to appease Odin.


• Also, at midnight, you are supposed to run naked into the nearest body of water to ensure good fortune for the coming year. I, personally, will now be avoiding all bodies of water at midnight, especially the community pool.


• Wash all your linen, beat all your rugs, and make everything fresh to keep the fairies out.


• Dew gathered on Midsummer's Night can heal sicknesses.


• Water gathered on Midsummer's Night will have magical properties.


• Leaves gathered on Midsummer's Night and used as bandages relieve pain.


• Midsummer is supposed to be a favorable time to find a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you know who you want, and you need to make them want you, you are supposed to roll around on their property naked in the light of the midsummer moon. (Just don't let them or any of their family members catch you because "midsummer" is not a legal defense for trespass.)


• An unmarried girl is supposed to fast on Midsummer Eve and at midnight set her table with a clean cloth, bread, cheese and ale, then leave her yard door open and wait. The boy she will marry, or his spirit, will come in and feast with her.


• If you don't know who you want to marry, according to Nordic tradition, if you place wildflowers under your pillows on Midsummer Eve you will dream of your future mate. Some traditions say you must gather nine flowers, some say you must gather them in silence, and some say that one of the flowers must be gathered from a churchyard. You might want to do all three requirements to make it work. I haven't yet tried the churchyard flowers yet. Somehow, it just seems like stealing to me.


• Also, on Midsummer's Eve a single woman should write the letters of the alphabet on pieces of paper. Then she must place them face down in water. On Midsummer's morning her true love's initial should be facing up. I think that this tradition could be a unisex tradition.


• But, all you guys out there, you must crawl under a blackberry bush on Midsummer's Day to catch a glimpse of your future mate's shadow. I am not sure how a glimpse of a shadow will help much, but then, dreams and initials don't help all that much either.

Quite Possibly the Absolute Worst Two Personality Traits to Have In Combination

Procrastination.




Impatience.

Yes, We Have a Banana!

Today at work I saw something that I have never seen before. Yes, that banana up there, someone left it as a present for me and my coworkers. Well, probably not really for us; they probably just didn't know what to do with a giant banana.

Anyway, now we have a big banana. A very big banana. And this is not a Photoshopped banana, because as you can see, there is a reflection of the banana in the water on the pavement, which also proves that the photo was taken today because it is very wet in Utah today. (Sorry Edgy).

Anyway, if you get forwarded an email with that photo, and the words:

For lunch I only had a little pasta with olive oil and parmesan, and a salad, and perhaps a banana.

just you know that email was created at the desk of the Absent-minded Secretary!

Birds Stop Singing, June 5th

Birds Stop Singing

Yesterday, when I was researching Birds Stop Singing, the only information I could find about this day stated:

"In some early medieval calendars, this is listed as the date the Birds Stop Singing." (School of the Seasons)

But, Birds Stop Singing Day wasn't noted in any of my book-type resources, (the Calendar of Vanishing Vocabulary and Folklore for 2007, The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore, The Encyclopedia of Things that Never Were, The Faber Book of Useful Verse, or The Dance of Time: The Origins of the Calendar A Miscellany of History and Myth) nor on any of my online resources, which other than School of the Seasons areCalendar of the Month, Fun Holidays, Holiday Insights, Nova Roma, Old Farmer's Almanac, and Sky News, (by the way, tomorrow will be the best day to view Jupiter and its moons). So, I was about to give up on Birds Stop Singing Day. It was a nice idea, but, it seem to be a non-provable holiday.

But, this morning as I was getting ready for work, and I was listening to the news, and the weatherman said that the birds wouldn't be singing today because the wind would be blowing rather strongly over most of the state for the majority of the day.

So, apparently, the medieval calendarists knew what they were calendering.

On a personal note, today, fifteen years ago, I graduated from high school. Yep, I am really that old. So, I am wearing blue and white today, my Alma Matter's colors, and I am also wearing the pearl necklace that my grandmother gave me to wear at the graduation ceremony.

Also, this is the fifteen year anniversary of Game 2 of the NBA Playoffs, the Portland Trailblazers against the Chicago Bulls. Portland won in overtime. One of the best games ever. Everyone at my graduation, speakers included, listened to the game on their Walkmans. Anyone who didn't bring a Walkman was updated of the score at regular intervals from the podium. Clyde "the Glide" Drexler fowled out during the fourth quarter. And that is what I remember most about my high school graduation.

Rusalka Week, or the Week of Love Sickness

Rusalka Week

A rusalka is a fish-woman from slavic mythology, with the dark ghostly-sexual undertones like a succubus. Rusalka are women or children who have died violently before their time. These woman or children have been jilted by their lovers, or have been born out of wedlock and have been murdered by those most dear to them, or have committed suicide. They are dangerous mostly to men, and like to seduce men by singing to them, then wrapping their arms around them to then pull them under the water to drown them.

While rusalka are dangerous, they do serve some good. They have some control over the fertility of the living things near them and some control over the regular passing of the seasons. As we all want the lands around us to be fertile, (and maybe because even we want to be fertile) and maybe because of the freaky global warming seasonal issues we should want to have a few rusalka around.

Rusalka Week, the first full week of June, is the most active time for the rusalka. Rusalka will be more active than usual, and we all should take caution. Because the rusalka are in their situation because of false love, they will lure others to the same state. Be careful of any feelings of love that begin during Rusalka Week. These feelings are not true love but a "love sickness" spell cast by a nearby rusalka. During Rusalka Week:

• You should not should go swimming; you could be dragged to a watery grave by a rusalka.
• Women who wish to be protected from love sickness should not spin, weave, wash their hair, or sleep during the day.
• Men who wish to be protected from love sickness should wear a garland of walnuts and garlic.

I am sorry to say, I have washed my hair today. I guess I washed all my protection away. Sigh.

Leave the Office Early Day, June 1st

Leave the Office Early Day

Now, I know that most of you are thinking that since it already is a short work week, why on earth would it be okay to leave the office early. Well, last night we had a blue moon. If you believe that things go all crazy-like during a full moon, then surely, two full moons in one month is a good excuse to leave the office early.

Some people believe that a holiday weekend makes the work week feel longer and more torturous, rather than shorter. If you are one of those people, again, you should go home early.

And finally, there are some people who didn't have a holiday weekend because they worked on home improvement type activities all weekend. And those people should most definitely go home early.