Almanac of Miscellaneous Merriment

09-09-09

2009-09-09T00:30:00.000-06:00

09-09-09

Just in case you didn't think today was a special day because of The Beatles new releases, here are some other reasons to get excited...

09-09-09 is the last of repeating single-digit dates until 01-01-2101
Wednesday and September both have 9 letters.
September 9th is the 252nd day of the year. 2+5+2=9
9 is an important number in Chinese culture because 9's pronunciation is similar to the word for long-lasting

There are also some not-so-exciting things associated with the number 9

Roy Hobbs wore the number 9
There is a "curse" related to 9th symphonies (Ludwig van Beethoven, Franz Schubert, Anton Bruckner, Antonin Dvorak, and Gustav Mahler all never finished their Tenth Symphonies.)
9 is considered unlucky in Japan because 9's pronunciation is similar to the word for pain

Anyway, if you think that 09-09-09 is lucky or unlucky, or even if you think it is a marketing gimmick, you can celebrate 09-09-09 easily by taking a moment to watch this creative commentary about how the number 9 can change the gene pool.

National Leave The Office Early Day

2009-06-02T05:54:00.003-06:00

National Leave The Office Early Day

On a beautiful day in June, there are many reasons to leave the office early. Personally, I'm hoping for a major thunderstorm to knock out the power. No power, no way to do work. Of course, that would inconvenience the most while conveniencing the least. For me, today won't work as an early day unless it's becomes a universal leave the office early day. But, for anyone else, today could easily become a tradition. Just as a reminder that summer is soon her, and it just won't be the summer if we all are working a little too hard.

Hope you get to leave early!

St. Patrick's Day!!!!! March 17th

2009-03-17T06:00:00.003-06:00

St. Patrick's Day!

If you have ever hung around the Almanac of Merriment in March, you might be aware that I have some love for St. Patrick's Day. It's not because I love green, so much that I love a day when everyone is wearing it... I just kinda like to see the phrase "Erin go Bragh" randomly placed around. I like that phrase. No particular reason.

Anyway, if your weatherperson just announced that today is going to be the same as yesterday, as mine just did, there might be more than one reason why. You see, yesterday was St. Urho's Day. St. Urho is the patron Saint of Finland, who was created in Northern Minnesota in the 1950s.

The legend of St. Urho says chased the grasshoppers out of ancient Finland, thus
saving the grape crop and the jobs of Finnish vineyard workers.

Thus, we have a Finish Saint Day that is celebrated in America, that is not celebrated in Finland.

We have a similar situation with our St. Patrick's Day. We Americans have built up a lot of traditions that are not quite Irish. We Americans eat corned beef and cabbage, and pinch people, and

celebrate St. Patrick's Day with green beer and parades.
Traditionally, St. Patrick's Day meant going to church during the Christian season of Lent. There was no beer drinking, and especially no feasting on that holy day.

But, don't let me rain on your parade. Go out and have some fun out there. Pinch those checky non-green-wearing-potato-heads and if they complain, tell them "go n-ithe cata thú agus go n-ithe an diabhaill an cata."

Pi Day, 3.14

2009-03-14T12:56:00.006-06:00

Pi Day

Today is Pi Day!! Yeah! And it's not to late to celebrate with a piece of pie, either pizza pie, or your favorite dessert pie. Just remember to calculate the area of the pie before you eat it (by using pi )and then you will know how many square inches of pie you ate, if you ate a whole pie that is.

For Pi Day fun, check out the Official Pi Day Website which has a Pi Day Shop, where you can buy Pi Day t-shirts and a clock in terms of pi, has a link to make and send Pi Day ecards to your friends, and even a link to watch Pi Day raps on You Tube. I have to say, I didn't watch the nine minute one. Hello! Nine minutes of pi rap!? Really?

Another place for Pi Day fun is The Pi-Search Page. The Pi Search Page has 200 million digits of pi, and will search for your preferred sequence of numbers so you can see where in pi they are. For example, today's date 03-14-2009 came up with these results: "The string 03142009 occurs at position 78,157,637 counting from the first digit after the decimal point. The 3. is not counted." So, with this resource, for some one's birthday, you can send them a card telling them where their birthday occurs in pi! And you know they will think you are the coolest person on the planet!

Anyway, have a very happy Pi Day everyone, and if you want to check out my previous Pi Day posts, look here, here, and here.

Square Root Day, 03/03/09

2009-03-03T14:30:00.001-07:00

Square Root Day

How much do we love square roots at the Almanac of Merriment? So much that we are prepared to give up our lunch breaks to blog about them. (Your wish is my command, Edgy.)

Today, 03/03/09, is one of just ten Square Root Days that we will have this century. To have a Square Root Day one must have a day and a month that equal the square root of the last two digits of the year.

The other nine Square Root Days in this, or any, century fall on 01/01/01; 02/02/04; 04/04/16; 05/05/25; 06/06/36; 07/07/49; 08/08/64; 09/09/81; and 10/10/2100. As you can see, the amount of time between Square Root Days increases exponentially as the century progress... much like the distance between um...prime numbers? No, wait I remember... numbers with perfect squares. (Whew! It's been a really long time since my last math class. My last math class that didn't involve Excel, that is.)

Anyway, Edgy thinks this is a perfect day to eat square root vegetables. Root vegetables that are square is shape, that is. I wonder if there are any restaurants that are offering square veggies as a special today?

John Milton's Quatercentenary (400th Birthday), December 9th

2008-12-08T21:18:00.006-07:00

John Milton's Quatercentenary

Where have the years gone? It seems like just yesterday I was assigned a section of Paradise Lost in that Early British Lit survey class that I took in the attempt to try to understand and be able to speak intelligently about any and all literature written ever, or at least any and all that made it into my Norton Anthology. I remember almost nothing about what I read in that class ( we covered Beowulf to Samuel Johnson I mean come on, it was only about 1,000 years of literature covered in 4 months!) But, about Milton, I remember my professor reading a part of Paradise Lost and thinking that someday, when I had the time, I needed to read the whole thing.
I haven't read it Paradise Lost. This April I will have been graduated with my English degree for ten years. Yep. Should have read it by now. Maybe after Christmas and can start that.

Anyway, since it is Milton's birthday, I should be focusing on him. It looks like the majority of Miltonian celebrations are taking place across the pond, and have happened already, so getting to a live celebration might be tricky. However, there is this really cool website with lots of information about Paradise Lost. I've just played with it a little bit, and I plan to come back later.

Of course, Paradise Lost is not Milton's only work. If you like your Restoration poetry set to Baroque music then you should check out Handel's L'Allegro, il Penseroso ed il Moderato, which is based on L'Allegro and Il Penseroso, two of Milton's poems.

If you don't want to do any of that, you could just give a random gift to someone today and say "Happy Milton's Birthday!" If you plan on doing the random gift thing, here are some gifts that I do not recommend for Milton's Birthday, or for the entire gift-giving season.

The Yodeling Green Pickle (Now, why does this exist?)
The Houseplant Twitter Kit (Yes! Now for only $99 your plant can Twitter you when it needs to be watered! Or, you could look at it every once in a while.)
The Pet's Eye View Camera (Do you ever wonder what your dog does all day? Now you can have pictures taken every 15 seconds while you are gone! Personnally, I don't even want 15 second updates from my nearest and dearest friends and family! Sorry, love ya all, but there is a reason why I don't Twitter!)
Owl Pellets (Now, I am all for educational gifts but... there are just no words for my thoughts. So, here's the blurb from the website:

"See what this owl ate for dinner. Just unwrap the foil from the pellet and
carefully us the probes provided to dissect the pellet and extract the owl's
dinner. Then use the bone guide to identify what the owl ate."

Heartshaped Mouse (I always recommend against heartshaped anything, but especially against heartshaped things that should be ergonomic. Happy Milton's Birthday! I hope you don't get carpel tunnel! )

Anyway, have a Happy Miltonian Quartercentenary everyone!

Election Day! Vote! Vote! Vote! November 4th

2008-11-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Although I am emotionally exhausted by all the political rhetoric over the last 20 months, I am thrilled that the candidates of this election have inspired so many people to become engaged in the political process. (Also, I am as excited as Neel Mehta is to see what will happen to the business-as-usual political process) and if this election will scare baby boomers out of their comfort zone in any way. Really, the combination of engaged young voters, and disengaged senior voters... suddenly, baby boomers don't have as much political power as they have held for years and anything could happen. Anything. I mean anything! Even to the point that I could even give ol' George W. some credit for Obama's success! (Credit via Don King. Thanks! Soccer Dad for the info!)

For the record, I will be voting for Obama. (Happy Birthday Mister Fob) and I would encourage everyone to do the same. Most because my birthday was last week, and it would be a wonderful gift to have someone I vote for win an election! (Especially since my vote is a throwaway vote.) I have not had a single person that I have voted for in the last three years win. I work in the most conservative City, and live in the most conservative county, which is in the most conservative state of these United States. I have absolutely no voice!

Regardless of who you vote for, after you vote, you deserve a treat; especially after dealing with 20 months of rhetoric (Edgy, it's almost done!) without letting it beat you down into an abyss of depression and catatonia. So, while wearing you "I Voted" sticker, treat yourself to:

So, go forth, and have a Happy Election Day!

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19th

2008-09-19T12:31:00.004-06:00

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Arrrgh! It's another International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I be a little late be lettin' everyone know, but it's not too late t' start talkin' like a pirate! Shiver me timbers!

If ye be needin' some help talkin' like a pirate, here be an English-to-Pirate translator.

If ye want ta read the Almanac o' Merriment in pirate talk, click here.

And if ye be wantin' to be findin' out yer pirate personality here be a Pirate Personality Test.

Ahoy, apparently, am a borin' pirate. Aye. Me think tis' because Me answard one o' the questions with: "I am seduced by the charms of middle management."

You are The Pirate

Do you remember the last time you took a chance? It was when you decided to leave the security of your mother's womb and headed for the bright light. It's time to head for the next bright light, my friend. Creativity is not your strong suit. You are good at doing what you are told to do and that, in itself, is a gift. It's not a gift to you, mind you, but a gift to those who will be there to tell you what to do. You like long walks on the beach and cuddling, but would never admit that to your pirate pals who think you are okay but can't always remember your name. Tapioca pudding seems a bit extreme for someone such as yourself, what with all the bumps and stuff. It's a good thing you are on a pirate ship, otherwise, you would be walking because you are positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Ahoy all ye mateys and go out t' have a great pirate day!

Constitution Day, September 17th

2008-09-17T08:37:00.004-06:00

Constitution Day

What? You haven't heard of Constitution Day? You probably missed the USA Today article; it's a little small. If you want an article with a little more substance, check out The Washington Post, which is mostly an interview with Chief Justice John Roberts. (Or, here is also this article, which isn't so neutral about the state of the nation in relation to the Constitution.)

Personally, I think it's interesting that this holiday is not celebrated much in the press, because this holiday came into being at the request of William Randolph Hearst. The press should be all over this holiday! All in all, since we don't get a day off, Constitution Day has probably become just an elementary school holiday, an opportunity to teach about the Constitution. But, I think that there should be more.

Constitution Day is also known as Citizenship Day, which was Hearst's original intention when he promoted the day. I know that I take my citizenship for granted sometimes, and I think that I don't understand totally what citizenship means. In school we were evaluated with every report card about our citizenship. But, I wonder how good of a citizen I am without the reminder every six weeks? Does being a good citizen require that I drive the speed limit, as it once required that I not run in the hallways? Does it require that I recycle, constantly, always, even when it's not convenient, as it once required that I keep my desk clean? Does it require that I be kind and respectful, to everyone I encounter, even if I might be the Utah State Senate Majority Leader and I am dealing with a pizza delivery girl, as it once required that I be kind and respectful to my teachers and fellow students? I wonder, in our society do we demand more of our children as citizens than we do of our adults?

I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this today. Maybe because yesterday I heard this story on NPR about "silent raves," where large groups of people get together to dance to their own music on their i-pods. It seems like a excellent example of American freedom... you don't even have to listen to the same music as the person next to you at a dance, yet it seems so isolated, so detached, and I am afraid that we are losing our concept of "we the people..."

So, what happens when Absent doesn't blog for three months...

2008-08-02T07:39:00.005-06:00

A rooster haunts her apartment complex!

And it won't leave!

Apparently, I'm the only one who can see the rooster, because the management says no-one else has reported it. For three days!!! The management has called out Animal Control, when I told them there was a rooster running around the grounds, and Animal Control told them that there were not any visible signs of the rooster. But, I see the rooster every time I leave my apartment, and every time I come home. It wakes me up at 4:30 with its crowing. How can I be the only one who sees the rooster, and is bothered by the fact that it is there?

Is there a reason that I am being haunted by domesticated fowl? Are the fates trying to tell me I'm a chicken?

Administrative Professional's Day, April 23rd

2008-04-23T06:11:00.004-06:00

Administrative Professional's Day

You may have heard the rumor that Administrative Professionals Day is celebrated on the same day as National Remembrance of Man's Inhumanity To Man Day. And while that may seem ironically appropriate, that's not so true, at least this year. And being an Administrative Professional isn't really that bad, at least most days.

Anyway, it used to be called Professional Secretaries Day, then Administrative Professionals Day, and then was expanded to Administrative Professionals Week. I think a day is enough, I mean, does anyone really celebrate Administrative Professionals Week? I think we will just celebrate the day here at the Almanac. So, if you are an adminstrative professional, or if you have one, or if your daily duties are similar to one, here are some quotes to get you through the day, especially if your boss might forget to celebrate you today.

"Responsibility without power, the fate of the secretary through the ages." -Ariel Dorfman

"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties." -Doug Larson

"And so while the great ones depart to their dinner, the secretary stays, growing thinner and thinner, racking his brain to record and report what he thinks that they think that they ought to have thought." -Arthur Bryant

"You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant." -Martin H. Fischer

"It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped." -Anonymous

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so." -Douglas Adams

"If you have a good selling idea, your secretary can write your ad for you." —Morris Hite

International Children's Book Day, April 2nd

2008-04-02T00:11:00.001-06:00

It's Hans Christian Anderson's birthday! Which also means that it's International Children's Book Day!

Now, I know that I should talk about how no-one reads the good fairy tales anymore, like "The Fir Tree" and "The Leap-Frog", but instead I just have to share my favorite new children's book: Waking Beauty, by Leah Wilcox.

Just read it. You'll love it. I promise. It comes recommended by both a 33 year-old and an almost 3 year-old.

March 31st

2008-03-31T05:36:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, when I woke up it looked like this outside: \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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Today, it looks like this:
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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I think Punxsutawney Phil was wrong.

St. Patrick's Day, March 17th

2008-03-17T13:51:00.005-06:00

St. Patrick's Day!!!

It's no secret that I love St. Patrick's Day. I love it because I get a little thrill every time I see my name somewhere, even if I know it's not really for me.

Nevertheless, I was shocked when I read today that St. Patrick's Day had been moved to the March 15th, because the Catholic Church didn't want to celebrate the holiday during Holy Week, which I completely understand, since St. Patrick's Day is, after all, a Catholic feast day, and as such they have every right to move the celebration, so as not to take away from Holy Week, but I was so sad that I had missed it! And I didn't know because I didn't get the memo, because I'm not Catholic!

Anyway, I still must celebrate St. Patrick's Day today, and if you would like to celebrate along with me, here are a few tests to see how "Irish" you are.

Your Irish Name Is...

Maura MacSween

What's Your Irish Name?

What Your Shamrock Says About You

You express yourself well - you are very verbal. You are good at perceiving the world and understanding people.

At times you can be moody and lack direction. You have an artist's temperament.

You consider yourself a lucky person. Luck always seems to be on your side.

You are traditional, easy going, and appreciative of the simple things in life.

The Shamrock Personality Test

You're 50% Irish

You're probably less Irish than you think you are...

But you're still more Irish than most.

How Irish Are You?

Your Leprechaun Name Is:

Freckles O'Gold

What's Your Leprechaun Name?

You Are A Fig Tree

You are very independent and strong minded.

A hard worker when you want to be, you play hard too.

You are honest and loyal. You hate contradiction or arguments.

You love life, and you live for your friends, children, and animals.

A great sense of humor, artistic talent, and intelligence are all gifts you possess.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.

Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.

People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.

But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Pi Day, 3-14

2008-03-14T13:25:00.002-06:00

Pi Day

It's another Pi Day! The day devoted to eating pie and celebrating pi! Because, really, if we didn't have pi, we wouldn't understand, well, lots of things about our natural world. And, by the way, it's also Albert Einstein's birthday today, which is kinda cool. So, you can celebrate with a birthday pie, or you can calculate the perfect slice of birthday cake by using pi.

So, if you feel like you already know enough about the history of pi, or you have already memorized pi to the millionth digit, or that you have read enough pi limericks and pi haiku on past pi days, then you can check out these posters that help you calculate the area of your pizza pie, or you can calculate your age with pi, or you can find the bianary equivilant of your name in pi, all of which are cool Pi Day activities.

National Grammar Day, March 4th

2008-03-04T13:06:00.004-07:00

National Grammar Day

Oh, my goodness, I almost forgot! Today is National Grammar Day! And I would not have known about National Grammar Day, if Soccer Dad, had not given me the heads up about it! Now, even though I have my B.A. in English, I haven't ever formally taken a grammar class, so, I do feel a bit insecure around some people when they talk about nonrestrictive modifiers and future perfect tenses. However, I do love language, and can appreciate grammar and those whose skills are above my own, and today I will pretend that I have the best of grammar skills, and as long as Edgy doesn't tell on me, no-one will be the wiser. Just, no-one comment on the run-on sentence, please.

Anyway, I found this delightful article about the ethics of grammar, which tells me of the four situations where it is permissible to correct a person's grammar. And, I have discovered that according to SPOGG (Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar) voters, President George W. Bush is the celebrity with the worst grammar. (Sorry Soccer Dad as a Democrat, I felt morally responsible, to point that one out.) And, I have discovered that SPOGG has a blog!

I feel as if I am witnessing the development of a real-life-English-major-e-version of S.P.E.W.!

Anyway, thanks again Soccer Dad!

Sharp Days, March 1-3

2008-03-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

The first three days of March are called "Sharp Days" in Greek tradition. When I first read about this, I thought it was in reference to perhaps the sharpness of the air, despite the fact that it seems like there is more sun, and therefore more warm... but, no. The first three days of August are also "Sharp Days." Sharp Days are considered a transitional time of year. The Sharp Days in March are the beginning of warmer weather, and the Sharp Days in August are the beginning of cooler weather.

During the first three days of March you should not wash any clothes or they will wear out too quickly, or chop wood or because it will rot before it's time, or bathe because your hair will fall out. If you must do laundry, you must put a nail in the water to take the sharpness out. I haven't found a solution for chopping wood or bathing. Maybe stick a nail in your shampoo bottle.

Leap Day, February 29th

2008-02-29T01:02:00.002-07:00

Leap Day

Leap Day was always exciting to me when I was a kid. It just seemed cool that it was a day that only came around every four years, and then when I discovered Pirates of Penzance... wow, my love of Leap Day quadrupled.

But, then I found out that in Scotland, Leap Years, the whole year, are generally considered unlucky and Leap Year Day is a particularly bad day because it was Job's Birthday, and he cursed the day that he was born. All this Job information is according to The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore. Poor Job. I almost want to make a birthday cake in his honor. And for all of us who have to work an extra day this year. I mean really, this year we have to work an extra day! There is something wrong with that! If we have to add an extra day to the year, that just might be an unlucky day, we shouldn't have to work, we should make it a National holiday!

The fifth century Irish single gals liked Leap Day because St. Patrick gave them permission to ask men to get engaged on Leap Day only. If the man said no to the proposal, he was required to give her a gift, or pay a tax, so either way, score for them!

Anyway, we should all head out today with a petition to get Leap Day designated as a National holiday! I am sure we can make a change! You know you want an extra holiday every four years... come on. You do!

National Polar Bear Day, February 27th

2008-02-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

Mr. Fob said "Wednesday is National Polar Bear Day. I expect a post." So, since I am feeling neither inspiration nor creativity, this is going to be one of my lesser posts. But the blame is entirely mine. Do not go complain to Mr. Fob about lackluster Almanac posts, he is busy right now working on a request for a submission of 5o pages of his novel. Yea! for Mr. Fob! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Joy! So send many happy thoughts Fob-ward, and think about the polar bears for him too, as he probably won't have time to think about them.

But anyway, there are many holidays to choose from for this Wednesday, February, the 27th.

First and foremost in importance is of course International Polar Bear Day This is the most important Wednesday the 27th holiday, because Mr. Fob wishes it to be recognized. Probably, we should all go and learn a little bit about Polar Bears. And maybe we could learn about the diminishing habitat of Polar Bears, and how we should STOP GLOBAL WARMING for the polars bears... and for us.

No Brainer Day I just don't want to think about, because if we promote it too much, what kind of chaos will we be encouraging in our lives? Traffic accidents? Idiot store clerks who put a milk carton in the same bag as the soft bread? That one question that you hate when you answer your phone? "Sweet Pumpkin Potato Farms, How Can I Help YOU" "Hello, is this Sweet Pumpkin Potato Farms?" ARRRGGGG!!!! Yes, we should not in any way advertise No Brainer Day.

Inconvenience Yourself Day Why? Aren't there enough people out there trying to inconvenience you? Why would you want to make your life harder by making your own trouble. Unless, you are going to inconvenience yourself by doing something nice for someone else. Then, you have my support in your celebration.

Feast day of St. Gabriel Possenti St. Gabriel is the patron saint of Students, Youth, Clerics, Seminarians, and Abruzzi. So, if you are young,a student, a cleric, a seminarian, or are from the middle part of Italy, then you should feast today.

Flip a Pancake Day If it's not your patron saint day, or if you don't believe in patron saints, of if you just don't feel like feasting today, you can just flip a pancake. Pancakes are easy. Pumpkin pancakes are my favorite. With pecans. And real maple syrup.

MMM... I think I found my celebration.

Charles Dickens Day, February 7th

2008-02-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

Charles Dickens Day

I am sure Charles Dickens would say to my coworkers, "if one were to try to sabotage a coworker, one should make sure of ones dates. One shouldn't make accusations and display "proof of misbehavior" that happened on a day which the accused has real proof that she was out of the office. Such lack of fact or evidence and with obvious proof of malice, it just makes one look stupid, hateful, and just plain ugly. So, one should just go about one's job, working with the purpose assigned to one and go effect some social change. And go vote for Obama."

Yup, that's exactly what I think Charles Dickens would say.

World Nutella Day, February 5th

2008-02-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

World Nutella Day

Nutella. Day. I don't know how I have missed this day my entire life.

National Inane Answering Message Day, January 30th

2008-01-30T00:35:00.000-07:00

National Inane Answering Message Day

Unlike last year, this year the U.S. Census Bureau does not have a message for National Inane Answering Message Day. The U.S. Census Bureau employee with a sense of humor must have quit his job.

So, we must turn to other venues for Inane Answering Message Day hilarity, even if we think they didn't quite get the point of what an inane answering message is. Alors, we must just laugh at what we can.

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, January 28th

2008-01-28T00:47:00.000-07:00

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

It is again the last Monday in January, and so it is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day! I know that everyone looks forward with anticipation to Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, that special day where you are required to spend at least 30 seconds relieving your stress by popping bubble wrap.

Just in case you don't have a roll of your favorite colored bubble wrap to celebrate with today, here are a few virtual Bubble Wrap sites you can visit to work out some extra angst. This site is my favorite virtual Bubble Wrap Game. It's my favorite because the bubbles come back. This one is timed, (Bubble Wrap Game II) so you can limit yourself to just one game...if you are one of those people who are good at controlling personal gratification. And then there is this one (Bubble Wrap Game III) which looks like real bubble wrap, and therefore can have more satisfaction.

If you are looking for a something beyond virtual bubble wrap games, you could discover your personality type by taking the Bubble Wrap Personality Test, or you could test your knowledge of bubble wrap history by taking the Bubble Wrap Quiz. Either, or both, are short and quick ways to spend your fifteen minute break, and they are far less addicting than popping bubbles.

2008-01-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently, if you want your house to have a lingering scent, try one little burnt baked potato. The scent will linger for three days at least... so far.

Kiss A Shark Day, January 10th

2008-01-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

Kiss A Shark Day

Okay, so for me realizing that Hanson's "MMMMBop" is #20 on VH1's list of the 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s, beating out The Cranberries "Linger" (#86), Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do" (#61), Ricky Martin's "Livin' la Vida Loca" (#28) and Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" (#25) which were important songs of the 90s, much more important that "MMMBop," is much like kissing a shark. Also, realizing that all three members of Hanson are now married and have kids, makes me feel really, really old.

Also, I protest any list of best songs from the 90s that doesn't include more Collective Soul. And why they chose
Shine

instead of December,

or Needs...

I just can't understand.

But, I do understand VH1's pick for the number 1 song of the 90s, and I fully agree with it. I remember the first time I heard this song, and it is a significant memory for me. It was September of 1991, my senior year, I was sixteen and younger than most of my class. It was at the end of the first pep assembly of the year, and I think someone had gotten into the sound system when they shouldn't have, because we generally didn't end pep assemblies with teeny grunge music, mostly we ended with walk back to class quietly music. As soon as the music started, people started to mosh all around me. I didn't mosh. I couldn't. I was too stunned by what I was hearing. I loved it! I stood still trying to understand the words, because I felt like the song had just reached out at me with all seventeen of its tentacles and embraced me into the grunge movement. After that experience I started listen to the AM alternative stations, and I bought myself a flannel shirt or two. It only seemed right since I was attending high school in Oregon. But, I never did the black eyeliner thing or the clove cigarettes. Just in case you are were getting worried that you didn't truly know me.

Anyway, the number one song of the 90s is...

It's a great song, so don't go kissing sharks about it!

Earth at Perihelion-Moon at Apogee, January 2nd

2008-01-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

Earth at Perihelion-Moon at Apogee

Although it might not seem like it, because it is winter, and pretty darn cold outside, the earth will be at its closest point to the sun at about sunset this evening. Then in the morning the moon will be the farthest that it can be from the earth.

If you live near the coast than this information can be important because the position of the earth in its orbit of the sun and moon's position in its orbit of the earth both affect the level of tides. Check out this page to read about how the perihelion affected the Boston Tea Party. It's really interesting.

Well, at least I thought it was interesting.

Banned Words for 2008

2008-01-01T12:13:00.000-07:00

Every year Lake Superior State University (read here for the history of word banishment) listens to complaints and comments from the American public about overused words and phrases in American usage and they compile a list of words that are to be banned for the next year. The list for 2008 includes: Perfect Storm, Webinar, Waterboarding, Organic, Wordsmith/Wordsmithing, Author/Authored, Post 9/11, Surge, Give Back, 'Blank' is the new 'Blank' or 'X' is the new 'Y', Black Friday, Back in the Day, Random, Sweet, Decimate, Emotional, Pop, It Is What It Is, and Under the Bus.

I agree with the banning of "Perfect Storm," "Post 9/11," and "Decimate" and hereafter you will never see these phrases appear on my blog because I do believe that "perfect storm" is way overused, I don't live my life according to a 9/11 timeline, and I never reduce anything strictly by one tenth. I can't promise about the other words and phrases, because either I like them, or I still find them useful or ironic.

If you are looking for a "random" resolution for the new year, you could check out the complete list of banned words. It would be a major accomplishment to remove them all from your vocabulary... or even just your blogging vocabulary.

Hogmanay, December 31st

2007-12-31T17:29:00.000-07:00

Hogmanay

After reading Th's Search Engine Report, I decided to see what has been bringing people to my blog lately. In the last 30 days, my most popular post has been Feast of the Fabulous Wild Men. Unfortunately, my post about Hogmanay has not brought any hits, at least in the last 30 days. This proves that traditional Scottish holidays are out, and random nonsensical holidays are in.

I am a little sad about this trend, mostly because Hogmanay is right up there with St. Patrick's Day and Thanksgiving, on my list of favorite holidays. I really like Hogmanay for a couple of reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I really like the idea of starting a new year with a clean break from everything that might have been bad in the previous year, and while New Year's has the same idea, Hogmanay just seems more cool, and traditional, and a little bit old worldish. And, I guess I might be a bit of a clean freak because it just seems like a good idea to follow the traditional Scottish "redding of the house". And I also love the "first footing" tradition, because really, who wouldn't want to welcome a tall, dark, handsome stranger bearing who will bringing gifts of shortcake and smoked salmon into your home? Well, shortcake and smoked salmon are the gifts that I would recommend, because many a mickle makes a muckle.

Cellphonaphobia

2007-12-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

As Christmas Day approaches, I find myself in mortal terror for my cell phone. Not of my cell phone, mind you, for my cell phone. You see, for the last two years, on Christmas Day, I have in one way or another killed my cell phone.

It will be really sad if I lose another phone this year. Very sad because I haven't made any preparations for being out of communication for a month or so... again. But, since these type of things usually occur in threes, I just have a bad feeling.

Look for an Evergreen Day, December 19th

2007-12-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

Look for an Evergreen Day

Look! I found mine! It sure is little, but I still like it. :)

Stress-Free Family Holiday Month

2007-12-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Stress-Free Family Holiday Month

Every year my grandma wants a Christmas list from each of her grandchildren. If we don't provide one for her we are considered "bad grandchildren" because we will be causing her stress and frustration during what could have been an easy list-oriented shopping trip.

Last year I was the golden grandchild for a happy week because I was the first to provide a complete list, of mostly books, which meant that she would only have to go to one store, and she could get discount points from that store. But, then, there were problems. My books were not regular-on-the-shelf-books, so I quickly became the not-golden grandchild.

This year, I have had a really hard time coming up with a list for her. I thought it might be easy, because I do have an Amazon wish list, but Grandma doesn't do Amazon. This is where a great deal of the problems came from last year; I wanted books that I found on Amazon, that aren't regular bookstore shelf books. My parents aren't Amazon people either, and therefore, weren't much help for Grandma, so I have just realized that I have no reason to keep an Amazon wish list, except for me to have a list of random things for me to remember to maybe buy for myself someday.

Anyway, this year I felt guilty for even providing a list, even though Grandma asked for one, because this year she is helping me with my Multiple Sclerosis treatment costs. That is such significant help that I really don't feel that I deserve an additional Christmas present on top of that. But, since she said she still wants a list, I sat and thought about what I want for Christmas.

Well, my ideal Christmas list would include: the ability to have no more side effects to the Rebif. Specifically, no more morning sickness-type-smell-stomach-issues. No more nausea at the smell of celery, broccoli, cabbage, lettuce, avocados, and spinach. No more dark circles under my eyes, and no more people asking me if I had a bad night, every day. No more dead in my tracks fatigue. No more achy in my every joint. No more forgetfulness. No more uncontrollable crying when children sing Christmas carols. No more hiding in my apartment because I can't eat anything normal and because I need at least ten to twelve hours of sleep almost every night and did I mention that I still have dark circles under my eyes and I would like those to go away before Christmas? Yeah. That would just about cover everything that I really want for Christmas. (Except for maybe a phone call from Edgy ne^' Christian. That would be nice too.)

Unfortunately, Grandma can't do anything about any of that. Yes, so the last three days I have been trying to come up with things to put on a list for Grandma. And tonight, I did give her a spotty list. But, I feel stressed about that list. None of the books are books that I am dying to read. All of the kitchen things are things that I could live without. I feel like a spoiled selfish little brat, especially since this post is about family stress, and really if this is the only family stress that I have to deal with, I recognize that I'm pretty damn lucky.

We can chat about my mother later.

St. Andrew's Eve, November 29th

2007-11-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

St. Andrew's Eve

St. Andrew's Eve is an exciting day, or night, actually, because vampires can walk freely. I haven't been able to find a reason why, except that the legend seems to be Romanian.

So, in order to avoid the walking vampires, we are supposed to rub garlic on our hair and our window and door frames. Also, if a vampire talks to us, specifically asking us if we have eaten garlic, we shouldn't answer him... or her. I think this advice is good. If someone asks you if you have eaten garlic, it would be fair to asses the question as either rude or vampiresque. If it's not a vampire it would have been more polite if they had just offered gum or a mint.

Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day, November 7th

2007-11-07T00:38:00.000-07:00

Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day

Almonds and chocolate, you can't do much wrong with that combination. But, if it's not quite your favorite combination, or not what you have around your house left over from Halloween, and you still need a little snack to help deal with the post election day blues, here is a little article that will analyze your personality by candy choice.

Bittersweet? Maybe. But only because the two candies that I passed out for Halloween Bit O'Honey, and Twix say that I have split personalities. Hrump. Maybe it would be better to just keep it simple with chocolate covered nuts.

Anyway, enjoy your sucranalysis!

TRICK OR TREAT: What does your candy say about you? Analysis says Butterfinger givers might be slippery; Snickers givers are dependable.

Steve Almond's candy-giver analysis:
• Three 3 Musketeers: Does well in groups but is somewhat pompous. Prone to fancy costumes and arcane weapons. Wears hats in public that are ill-advised.
History: Created in 1932 by Mars, the candy bar got its name because it originally had three pieces in one packet: vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.

Calorie count: The Fun Size (17 grams) has 71 calories.

• Almond Joy: I'm going to put aside my aversion to coconut in praising these folks as happy-go-lucky.
History: Introduced in 1946 by the Peter Paul Candy Manufacturing Co. in New Haven, Conn. It's a companion to the Mounds bar, which arrived in 1920.

Calorie count: The snack size (19 grams) has 91 calories.

• Bit-O-Honey: They have contradictory personalities, hoping to express generosity but also having the passive-aggressive desire to damage the fillings of trick-or-treaters.
History: The honey-flavored taffy was first manufactured in 1924 by the Schutter-Johnson Co. of Chicago. It is now made by Nestle.

Calorie count: The snack size (7 grams) has 26 calories.

• Butterfinger: Evasive, slippery, not necessarily to be trusted.
History: Invented in 1923 by the Curtiss Candy Co. of Chicago. The crunchy bar wrapped in chocolate is now made by Nestle.

Calorie count: The Fun Size (21 grams) has 100 calories.

• Candy Corn: Purely deluded people. They don't get that candy shouldn't attempt to imitate other food groups, particularly corn.
History: Invented in the 1880s, it was first manufactured commercially by the Wunderle Candy Co. in Philadelphia and by the turn of the century at the Herman Goelitz Candy Co. in Cincinnati.

Calorie count: A serving of 22 pieces (40 grams) has 140 calories.

• Good & Plenty: Optimistic, perhaps overly so. A little bit of Weimar energy. Strong advocate of gay rights; acquainted with the bitterness at the center of most lives.
History: The licorice candy was first produced in 1893 by the Quaker City Confectionery Co. in Philadelphia and is considered the oldest branded candy in the country.

Calorie count: A serving of 33 pieces (39 grams) has 140 calories, or 4.2 calories per piece.

• Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Generous souls. Those who understand the salty in life, as well as the sweet.
History: Created by Harry Burnett Reese in the 1920s. Reese was a former dairy employee of Milton Hershey, founder of the Hershey Co. In 1963, the Reese candy company was sold to Hershey for $23.5 million.

Calorie count: A one-cup package (17 grams) has 88 calories.

• Snickers: Just going with the crowd, the safe candy choice, guaranteed to please the masses. Not ambitious, but dependable.
History: Created in 1930 by Mars, Snickers bars sold for a nickel. The Fun Size was introduced in 1968.

Calorie count: The Fun Size (15 grams) has 72 calories.

• Twix: Both brittle and supple in social situations; sort of trapped between personality types.
History: A Mars product, caramel-and-cookie Twix bars were created in the United Kingdom in 1967 but weren't sold in the United States until 1979.

Calorie count: The Fun Size (15 grams) has 80 calories.

• Twizzlers: Sickos. Truly demented. Plastic people living plastic lives.
History: The Twizzlers brand was introduced in 1929. The red licorice strips are manufactured by Y&S Candies, a company established in 1845 that is now a Hershey subsidiary.

Calorie count: One package (70 grams) has 240 calories.(Houston Chron.com October 29, 2007)

I Love Nachos Day, November 6th

2007-11-06T00:37:00.000-07:00

I Love Nachos Day

If you don't go to a movie just to sit back and eat some cheesy nachos today, at least check out this website which is full of fun nacho poetry.

And if nacho poetry inspires the creative cook in you, then you should check out this website which has lots of fun and new nacho ideas, including nachos with almonds and nachos with apples. Lots of nacho fun for everyone!

Yeah for Nachos!

Football's First Forward Pass, aka I Can Move Forward Day November 1st

2007-11-01T14:48:00.000-06:00

On November 1st in 1913 Notre Dame introduced the first forward pass in a game against Army at West Point. Notre Dame scored 35 points to Army's 13. In honor of this ground breaking game, I am naming November 1st I Can Move Forward Day.

The reasons for I Can Move Forward Day are personal. Basically, I have had a very emotionally difficult six weeks. Normally, my gut reaction to this type of personal stress is to want to crawl under the covers and hide until someone makes me come out. Fortunately, I seem to have grown up a bit because I can't do that this time, because hiding is isn't productive nor is it healthy.

I had spent the last three days writing out the details of what had happened over the last six weeks, but I have decided not to post what I wrote for a few reasons. First, it doesn't really fit the scope of my blog; second, it felt whiney, even though there were a few cleverly phrased parts; and third, I'm shy, and I don't feel like sharing all of it. But, I am going to share some of it, and hopefully it won't feel like the whiney parts.

Anyway, the core of my stress is that I found out that my Multiple Sclerosis has progressed. I have progressed from Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis to Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Because of this progression, I am going to have to increase the dosage of one of my medications, (Interferon Beta 1-A going from brand name Avonex 30 mcg once a week to Rebif 44 mcg three times a week). This increase could effect my ability to work full time, which would effect my insurance, which would effect my ability to get treatment... and so on, and so on.

I haven't really noticed an increase in my disability, but the MRI that I had in August showed that I have 26 lesions on my brain. Last year I had 12. The year before that I had 7, and the year before that I had 5. Basically, the lesions are places where the brain doesn't work any more because my immune system has attacked my nervous system and the cells that have been attacked form scar tissue through a process called demyelination.

So, my brain has so many holes it's like Swiss cheese. (Which means it's normal that I loose my keys every other day and lock myself out of my apartment at midnight on a Sunday night, and when people notice that I am being a bit of an airhead I can just say, "It's okay, I have 26 holes in my brain!") But, the way that my doctor gave me this information was not good. (Let's just say, doctors should read their patient files before they go into the exam room so they don't say things like, "Well, at least you've already have had your children, so you don't have to worry about pregnancy on these medications" and "Maybe we should save the rest of this conversation until your husband can be here.") Then, the same week that I got all this news, my brother was in a major car accident. So, that week wasn't a good week.

But that was in September, and I have had all of October to get used to the idea of new treatment, and today, the first day of November, is a good day for a fresh start. I had my follow-up appointment with my doctor. The doctor had me schedule a follow-up because the one in September was so emotional he wanted to give me time to come to terms with all the new information. Today's appointment was mostly setting up all the technical stuff for my new treatment. I have to have a home health nurse come in to show me how to do everything the right way. I had to get all the right insurance preauthorizations. I have to sign over the title of my car and my non-existent first-born for every monthly co-pay... but, I actually feel okay about this new first step. The positive thing is, even though my MRI looks really bad-- bad enough for the doctors to be really, really concerned, I am functioning fairly well, and I feel pretty good, most days. In fact, I think that most of my not feeling good is due to side effects of my medications that are supposed to be stopping the progression of the Multiple Sclerosis. Which is why I have had such a difficult time deciding to increase the dosage of those medications.

After today's appointment, I feel really positive about moving forward (and it doesn't hurt that the needle is significantly smaller for the Rebif) not dwelling on all of this negative stuff I have had in my head these last six weeks. I haven't ever seen a football game without at least one forward pass (at least I can't remember a significant one). Even with a strong running game, the best offense needs to mix things up with a few passes, and everyone loves to see a completed long-reach-for-it-and-run-for-the-end-zone pass. Perhaps, this new medication will be one of those passes where I can hear the footsteps of the defense right on me, and the end zone is just right there when the ball just comes over my shoulder into my hands... you know, just perfect.

Mischief Night, October 30th

2007-10-30T11:12:00.000-06:00

Mischief Night

Mischief Night sounds like an innocent enough holiday, because, at least to me, the word mischief conjures up child-like revels... like sneaking cookies out of the cookie jar. But, despite it's innocent sounding name, Mischief Night is is a holiday that easily can get out of hand.

For example, on October 30, 1938, Orson Welles aired his infamous radio play "War of the Worlds" which caused quite a bit of mischief. Many people listening to the program panicked, believing that the broadcast was a news report rather than a radio drama. If you want to read a script of the broadcast you can read it here. If you want to listen to the original broadcast go here. I remember listening to the full broadcast in junior high. I should probably go listen again for an adult perspective.

For an example from my own life-time, in 1991, in Camden, New Jersey over 130 fires were set by roaming teenagers which resulted in a teenager curfew in 1992 during which only 30 fires were set. ("The Mischievous History of Devil's Night" Washingtonpost.com) Personally, I think 30 teenager-set arsons in one night are still too many.

So remember, whatever you do tonight, whatever mischief you might be up to, remember that someone out there might be up to a little bit more.

When Utah's Grid System Goes Bad

2007-10-24T16:29:00.000-06:00

National Mole Day, 10-23

2007-10-23T00:11:00.000-06:00

National Mole Day

Remember how much fun it was to celebrate Pi Day? Now, take a deep breath and remember back to high school chemistry. Do you remember that number that we all had to remember to calculate the atomic mass of the molecule? That's okay, I didn't remember either. It's 6.02 x 10²³, aka Avogadro's Number.

Anyway, from 6:02 am to 6:02 pm, it is okay to celebrate National Mole Day. And, if you aren't up at 6:02 am to celebrate, I won't tell anyone. :)

Some of the suggestions for celebrating National Mole Day are, eating 6.02 cookies, a scavenger hunt using the chemical make-up of the items you want, or eat mole-themed food like guaca-mole! Mmm, guacamole!

Wind and Weather, October 12th

2007-10-12T07:48:00.000-06:00

According to The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore, a west wind on October 12th means that there will be a mild winter.

Currently in Provo, the wind conditions are: Wind Speed: 5 mph / 7 km/h / 2.1 m/s Wind Dir: 50° (NE), but Pleasant Grove's wind conditions are: Wind Speed: 0.1 mph / 0.1 km/h / 0.0 m/s Wind Dir: 201° (SSW). So, with both north-east and south-south-west winds, I'm guessing that the jury is still out about this winter's weather in Utah County.

Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, October 11th

2007-10-11T00:36:00.000-06:00

Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day!

Quick! Before everyone goes home, send a memo out to all your coworkers, and have everyone bring a friend to work tomorrow. Or, just sneak your teddy in and have him there for your own amusement. Either way, it should make at least five minutes bear-able.

Sorry. Couldn't help it.

Oatmeal Monday, October 8th

2007-10-08T08:29:00.000-06:00

Oatmeal Monday

According to my Forgotten English Calendar of Vanishing Vocabulary and Folklore, today is the traditional Monday, during the midterm week of nineteenth-century Scottish universities, where "fathers were allowed to bring sacks of oatmeal to sustain their sons for the term's duration" (Forgotten English Calendar of Vanishing Vocabulary and Folklore).

Now, a while it may seem like the average Scottish university student had a very boring and bland meal plan, with a sack of oatmeal at midterms, it turns out that oatmeal is quite versatile. Check out this recipe for Oatmeal Soup. It seems that oatmeal was so versatile for the college student diet that the modern equivalent would be a midterm care package of of Top Ramen.

Or perhaps it was a nicer gesture than that. I honestly wouldn't have been very happy to get a care package of Top Ramen when I was in college, even if it was from home.

And speaking of college days, I visited the ol' alma mater this morning and was pleasantly surprised (not!) by one of the librarians on campus while I was making a periodical donation. We were chatting about the new library addition and how much the library has changed from when I attended school pre-1999 when it was just a hole in the ground that caused major student/pedestrian traffic problems. She asked me "You graduated in '99?" with a semi-shocked look on her face. I responded in the affirmative. She then said, and I am not lying, joking or exaggerating: "You can't tell; you look just like a normal person."

Well, thank you ma'am, I appreciate the compliment, because, you know, we who graduated in that other century, we slowly turn into cod once we are out of the fishbowl of BYU.

That's not what I said.

I just said "thank you," because I am sure she meant to say, "You look just like a normal student."

Yeah right. I know I don't look like a student any more. They don't ask me if I am a student at the Visitor Parking. That is a sure sign that I no longer look young.

And, can I just say, that even though I work every day in Provo, I have not visited campus probably in about a year, and I had no idea how huge the new Alumni Building is?! It's shockingly huge. And maybe it just seems so big because nothing was really there before, or maybe because the building style just doesn't seem to fit the rest of campus. I don't know, it just didn't feel right, and I want to protest the building. It shouldn't be for alumni. It's too big. The biggest, nicest (arguably) building on campus should serve the students, not to stroke the already usually inflated egos of the donating alumni.

Okay. Wow. That was an opinion. I guess I am glad that my blog is not well read.

Anyway, for another tangent, on my way back to the office, I listened to the lyrics for "I Can't Drive 55." I actually listened to the lyrics, probably for the first time, from an adult point of view, and I have a totally different opinion of the song. I used to think it was just a rebel rock song, but now I think that it is a legitimate complaint against a policy change.

"What used to take two hours now takes all day. - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A...."(Sammy Hagar)

After thinking about it, I wonder, why aren't we all complaining?

I am putting my life in danger...

2007-09-29T15:15:00.000-06:00

blogging about the weather, but I must note that since it is currently snowing, in September, and since it did snow in May, it seems that the bit of weather folklore that I blogged about previously, might have a ring of truth to it. So, if it thunders in May, we all should be prepared for a short summer.

Although, I would also like to note that, while short, the Summer of 2007 also boasted the hottest month ever on record for Salt Lake City. So, here in Utah, if we have a short summer, it will be an intense summer, apparently.

I don't really like that. I am a mild weather sort of girl. Even though I prefer cooler weather, I have been shocked by the snow today. I mean, I thought I was okay knowing that the weather was going to be cooler today, even though it was 80 degrees yesterday. I was prepared for cold this morning when I left for the day. I was outside all morning cheering at soccer games and helping dig holes for trees through wind and rain. But, now it's snowing.

Snowing. In September. And everything about it seems wrong.

But, it's not my fault.

The Cool Kids

2007-09-24T23:15:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, I think that I am such a nerd that all the cool kids are playing jokes on me, and they are just laughing and laughing.

Saturday night, for example, I was driving home from a friend's house after midnight, and I had been away from my home for only twelve hours. In the twelve hours that I was gone, someone had removed the traffic light has always been at the end my street and had placed it at the brand new intersection one block up. Now, the intersection for my street is naked.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so confused. When I am tired, I drive by landmarks not by logic. I turn at the first light, and I do not make sure that I have driven .6 miles from the freeway exit. I got so lost that I almost curled up in a corn field and fell asleep because I was so confused, because I knew that I was so near my house, and yet it was so freakishly Twilight Zoney, and I was so tired and I just wanted to go to bed.

Well, today I had to work until ninefreakingthirtyatnight and I have to get up at fourfreakingthirtyinthemorning for a meeting. Yep. I had forgotten all about the new traffic light placement and got lost all over again.

Why, why, why do the cool kids have to torment me so much? Did they really have to move the light? Couldn't they have just added the new one and then we could have had two? Because really, the connecting street that I am supposed to just see does not have one single lamppost on it, and it is dark out in them there corn fields. Are you cool kids trying to push me over the edge? Are you trying to pull out my last thread of sanity? Because I am that close to tying up my shoelaces and throwing my shoes over the powerline and going off to live in Spectre forever.

Tolkien Week September 16th-22nd and Hobbit Day, September 22nd

2007-09-22T00:30:00.000-06:00

Tolkien Week September 16th-22nd and Hobbit Day September 22nd

If you need a new reason to celebrate Hobbit Day, do it because maybe there is a little bit of Hobbit inside of you!

One of the most puzzling discoveries in human evolution was the unearthing four years ago of the so-called "Hobbit" — a three-foot tall human-like creature with a brain the size of a grapefruit.

The Hobbit skeleton caused a split among anthropologists. Some scientists have said the Hobbit, found in Indonesia, is a weird human ancestor that somehow survived until some 12,000 to 20,000 years ago, living unnoticed as modern humans took over the world. Others have said it is a modern human with a condition resembling the genetic disease microcephaly.

But new evidence suggests that the hobbit really was a primitive form of human never seen before.

Researcher Matthew Tocheri, who studies wrist bones at the Smithsonian Institution, was shocked when he saw the wrist bones of the Hobbit.

"I opened up the container and I pulled out the bones and, wow, I couldn't believe it. I was like — is somebody putting me on? These are completely primitive," says Tocheri.

Tocheri says his knees were shaking with excitement. If the Hobbit was simply a diseased modern human, or even a human cousin like a Neanderthal, it would have human-like wrist bones. But the wrist bones looked more like those of an ape. Nobody had noticed the difference because the identification requires expertise in the tiny bones of the wrist.

Tocheri spent a year studying three of the Hobbit's wrist bones at the Smithsonian. He says all three of the wrist bones support the idea that it is not a diseased modern human.

"In great apes and other primates, the trapezoid looks like a pyramidal wedge, but in modern humans and Neanderthals, it looks like a boot," says Tocheri.

Another anthropologist who worked with Tocheri, William Jungers at Stony Brook University in New York, agrees. He says if these new findings hold up, it could change scientists' view of human evolution.

"I think we have grossly underestimated the complexity of human evolution and I think there are other surprises like this in store," says Jungers.

The new interpretation has not entirely resolved the dispute. Skeptics say hundreds of genetic diseases could affect the size and shape of human bones.

Although partial remains of other Hobbits have surfaced at the same site, they say it could have been an isolated colony of inbred people who shared the same genetic abnormalities.

But Matthew Tocheri says he thinks the Hobbit is an ancient ancestor and the ultimate survivor.

"Just looking at them and seeing and how primitive they were, I almost felt a certain feeling of success for the Hobbit. They made it, they made it into modern times, they've completely baffled us because they did it," says Tocheri.

Regardless of whether the Hobbits are our ancestors or simply abnormal humans, they clearly defied steep odds to survive.

Tocheri's research will appear in the Sept. 21 issue of Science. (Case Grows for 'Hobbit' as Human Ancestor by Christopher Joyce NPR )

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19th

2007-09-19T09:23:00.000-06:00

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Shiver me timbers! Even when I'm not especially feelin' like blogging, I can't forget Talk Like a Pirate Day. 'Specially when websites like TreeHugger remember it! So go check out t' real reason why we have global warmin'- fewer pirates! And if you need help puttin' your writin' into pirate talk, check out this English-to-Pirate translator. Happy piratin'! Arrrgh!

National Cream Filled Donut Day, September 14th

2007-09-14T00:03:00.000-06:00

National Cream Filled Donut Day

The cream filling to my day of public records and open meeting law training, was the comment "if I had to live in and work for the City of (where Absent works) for twenty years, I would sue them too."

Defy Superstition Day, September 13th

2007-09-13T00:42:00.000-06:00

Defy Superstition Day

There is an old superstition about cutting your hair. Cut it on Monday, you cut it for health; cut it on Tuesday, you cut it for wealth; cut it on Wednesday, you cut it for news; cut it on Thursday, a new pair of shoes; cut it on Friday, you cut it for sorrow; cut it on Saturday, see your true love tomorrow; cut it on Sunday, the devil will be with you all the week.

And, according to another superstition, you should always burn or bury your cut hair, because if an enemy took it they could use it to do you harm, or a bird could pick up the leavings and weave them too tightly in a nest thus giving you a headache until the nest falls apart. Not a happy thought.

I am not in a very reckless mood, so I am not very up for defying superstitions, because it turns out that walking under a ladder can end up badly for more than one reason. But, if you get your hair cut today, a Thursday, the worst that can happen is that you won't get a pair of new shoes. Which, don't get me wrong, would be sad, but not tragic, mind you.

So, everyone, go out and get you haircut today! But don't forget to sweep up the trimmings and dispose of them correctly!

Chocolate Milkshake Day, September 12th

2007-09-12T00:06:00.000-06:00

Chocolate Milkshake Day

One of my favorite memories from my childhood is going to Yaw's with my great-grandmother for the thick chocolate milkshakes that came in two glasses and the hamburgers with the special sauce with two types of pickles. Yum Yum!!

Yeah. Yaw's closed in 1982, so we can't go there anymore. And, it was in Portland, and I don't live there any more.

Regardless, I still can look for a the perfect chocolate milkshake on Chocolate Milkshake Day. In fact, I can't think of one good reason not to begin a quest for the perfect chocolate milkshake on Chocolate Milkshake Day. So everyone should go out there and quest for the perfect chocolate milkshake too! I think that my great-grandmother would approve. Let's create a nationwide run on chocolate milkshakes!

The Moon of the Hungry Ghosts is Bad for the Environment

2007-09-10T14:30:00.000-06:00

According to TreeHugger, the Moon of the Hungry Ghosts is quite a celebration in Taipei, Taiwan. The celebration is so big that it effects the local air polution.

Every year, during the seventh month of the lunar calendar, many Taiwanese citizens — both young and old — give offerings to the souls of the dead who, according to traditional beliefs, return to roam the world of the living. The Ghost Festival has become a surprisingly large source of air pollution due the massive amounts of paper money burned throughout the month.

Makes me wonder what kind of effect the Fourth of July has on air quality.

Self Improvement Month, September

2007-09-04T10:04:00.000-06:00

Self Improvement Month

This morning I had high hopes for the day. I was all rested from my three day weekend and ready to tackle all the problems waiting on my desk. I had a plan for my too-much-paper-on-my-desk problem. I had high hopes for task accomplishments. I had mental escape routes for all foreseeable emergencies that might happen over the course of the week. I had not prepared for the thirty-second-non-argument-with-pleases-and-thank-yous-that-would-push-Absent-into-an-evil-evil-mood-for-no-good-reason.

I wish that I had a dog so that I could claim that my dog is sick so I could go home today. Scratch that. I probably wouldn't be able to go home for a sick dog. Because, how would I know my dog was sick? Canine ESP?

If, I were really good, and wanted to work really hard on this self improvement thing, I would probably say that after lunch I can start with another blank slate- just as if it were a new day.

But, I don't want to. I feel like being Alexander today.

Oh, well. Tomorrow is another day.

Moon of the Hungry Ghosts, August 28th

2007-08-28T00:08:00.000-06:00

Moon of the Hungry Ghosts

The full moon of the 7th lunar month of the Chinese year, is called the Moon of the Hungry Ghosts. According to Chinese tradition, at this full moon, ghosts enter the sunlit world from the world of Nine Darknesses. We, of the living world, in order to placate the dead, must make offerings of lit paper boats and lit floating lanterns which are set out on water to give comfort and direction to wayward spirits.

After the moonlit tribute, most spirits will then choose to visit their former homes for the comfort and the company of their loved ones and loved places. The more tempestuous spirits will roam the streets, seeking revenge on those who have wronged them in life and in death.

To avoid the revengeful spirits, we must have ready offerings of ginger candy, sugar cane, and rice wine. We all must go get ours now before supplies run out.

You will be able to tell if a spirit has visited your home if you notice an odor of smoky vanilla, white sandalwood, ho wood, green tea, white grapefruit, musk or aloe.

It is has been such a pretty moon this month to have such a responsibility. Poor Hungry Ghosts.

Just Because Day, August 27th

2007-08-27T06:44:00.000-06:00

Just Because Day

Just because it takes at least a week and a half to normalize from a week and a half of vacation.

When I got home from airport via the Blog Party on Saturday night a week ago, I discovered that The Ants had moved into my apartment while I was gone. The Ants where everywhere. I was not happy with this, and bought poison for them. Now, nine days later, The Ants have mostly moved out. It took them as long to move out as the had to move in. Just because, The Ants are not entirely gone, I still don't feel like it is my apartment yet.

Just because I am a very clumsy person, both by nature, and by disease.

Saturday, while I was getting ready for a birthday party where I was to dress up as a nerd from the eighties (not much of a boost for my ego by the way) I stepped on a piece of broken glass in my kitchen. And when I stepped on the glass I jumped very clumsily backwards and twisted my shoulder in a way that it probably I could not replicate, but it probably looked a bit like a move that we all have seen Shaggy do when running away from ghosts. Anyway, the glass was deep in my foot, and when I tried to get it out, a piece of it broke off deep in the blood goo of my foot. So, I went to the emergency clinic, because I wasn't making the mess any cleaner. They got all the glass out and told me to ice my shoulder for the next few days and stay off my foot as much as possible. And, so I missed the 80's party, just because I wasn't in the mood any more.

And just because when I worry about things I can't control, I tend to lose control of things I should control.

Sunday night I had a good conversation with Edgy about things that kept me concerned and concentrated. But, while I was talking with my brain focued on him, my body was cleaning my kitchen, loading dishes in the dishwasher, getting the garbage ready to take out. And after the conversation had ended, I distinctly remember thinking about which pocket to stick my keys in so I could go check my mail, I had to worry about pocket because I also had to carry my cell phones, since I am on call for work this week. I needed to check my mail, which now hasn't been checked in two and a half weeks, because I haven't had any garbage to take out, because I have been limiting the food in my house just because of The Ants. I am sure my mailperson hates me. Just because the mailboxes are so far away from my actual apartment and from where I park; it's just not convenient to check the mail unless I am taking out the garbage.

So, anyway, after the garbage was dumped in the Dumpster, (see I can be cool and capitalize Dumpster just like it is all through Eclipse) I walk over to the mailbox and wait... no keys. Um. Problem! I hobbled good-foot-over-bad-foot back to my apartment and yes, I did lock the door. Why? Just because.

But, all is well just because I have Good Friend who said she didn't mind phone calls in the middle of the night, and who drove my extra key down to my apartment to let me in. And she brought freezer apricot jam for me and and for me to bring to Edgy. Why did she bring me and Edgy apricot jam? Just because.

And all is doubly well because I have Edgy, who text messaged me during the lockout to keep me company, just because he is cool like that.

So, through all the not-so-good just becauses, it's pretty good that I have some good friends- just because.

The Feast Day of St. Philbert, August 20th

2007-08-20T05:10:00.000-06:00

The Feast Day of St. Philbert

I was really glad to read about The Feast Day St. Philbert, because I learned why Oregonians call Hazelnuts Filberts.

As a child when I was driving around the orchards of the Willamette Valley with my mom, she would point out the rows and rows of low and gnarled trees and say, "Those are the filbert orchards. In the United States, Filbert trees only are grown in Oregon. Some people call filberts hazelnuts. People that call them hazelnuts aren't from Oregon."

This made me feel awkward. Now, I have a bit of pride for my Oregon pioneers who had come across the Oregon Trail and settled in the Willamette Valley, but if everyone else in the world called them hazelnuts, maybe that meant that we Oregonians were a little bit backward. I mean really, why filberts? Filbert doesn't even have the word nut in it? We were trying to hide the yummy goodness that is the filbert away from the rest of the world? Because really, if you didn't know that a filbert was a nut, and some one offered you one, you would think that they were offering you a beloved pet to eat?

Anyway, I was always curious as to why these seemed to be a great hazelnut debate.

According to School of the Seasons, St. Philbert was a French saint, and Hazelnut Trees are ready to harvest around the time of the Feast Day of St. Philbert, (which is on August 20th according the the School of the Seasons, and on August 22nd according to other sites) and so his name has been lent to the nut in areas with strong French influences.

Oregon doesn't really have a strong French influence. So, I did some more research.

Soupsong.com stated that

Frenchman David Gernot arrived in Oregon in the 17th century with European hazel trees and a personal mission. When he stumbled into the beautiful Willamette Valley, he was reminded of his home in the Loire valley. Without hesitation, he staked out his home and planted the first of his 50-tree grove. Other planters followed and by the early 1900s, hazelnut orchards had taken root in Oregon, where their nuts are produced commercially to this day.

Now, there are lots of different ways to eat a filbert.

If you are not if you are not afraid of cracking your teeth, you can eat them straight from the shell.

You can grind them up and put them in cookies and cakes.

Or you can cover them in chocolate, and then they are just perfect. If you are looking for Chocolate Covered Hazelnuts, Edgy has some, straight from Oregon.

Oh, and I have some too, but I am not sure if I am nice enough to share.

#2 Pencil Day

2007-08-17T09:46:00.000-06:00

#2 Pencil Day

On #2 Pencil Day, we should all stop for a moment to be glad that we aren't taking tests with #2 Pencils any more.

And then we all should go play in the sand with Baby Niece.

The Harry Potter Countdown... Only 12 Hours!

2007-07-18T11:30:00.000-06:00

If you have already read Edgy's post, you are aware that we are in the midst of planning a Harry Potter Non-Sleepover Party for tonight.

Now, like all good sleepover parties, we must have good munchies, and since this will be a theme party, we are having Harry Potter munchies. Now, because I can get a bit carried away with celebratory themes, I have tried to limit myself to an amount of food that can reasonable be eaten in the amount of time it takes to read one book. For example, I only made ten chocolate frogs. Because, as of now, only Edgy and I will be at the Harry Potter Non-Sleepover Party, and I think that five frogs each will be plenty. But, I still have chocolate left, so I might make more. We'll see how much time I have left.

I also have finished six peppermint toads. And while I didn't have high expectations for them, I am quite happy with them now.

I have been trying Butter Beer recipes for about three months, and I think I have finally perfected a formula. It has all the qualities of butter beer, except it isn't warm and it doesn't make house elves, or anyone else, drunk.

1 tsp Torani Ginger Spice Syrup
3 Tbls Torani Butterscotch Syrup
1 12 oz can Club Soda
Ice

Edgy asked for Pumpkin Pasties. I am all for making them, but I am not sure how I want to go about it. It seems, since we are first introduced to them on Hogwarts Express, that they could be sweet or savory. You know, like a little bit of lunch to satisfy until the big feast.

The pasty is traditionally a Cornish meat pie, carried by the tin miners for their lunch. It is meat, onions, and potatoes wrapped up in pastry without any gravy, and only salt and pepper. It's one of my family's recipes that has lasted crossing the ocean from Cornwall to Virginia, to Michigan, to Oregon. So, I almost want to hold to the tradition that pasty is a meal, not a dessert.

But, Edgy always imagined them sweet, and all the pumpkin pasty recipes that I have found have been more like pumpkin pie with a top pie crust. I am thinking about experimenting with phyllo dough.

I am also thinking about getting more creative and doing a kind of pumpkin/meat pasty, to be a little bit closer to the Cornish tradition of pasty, just replacing the sliced potatoes with sliced pumpkin... and maybe more seasonings. But, I would have to be able to find fresh pumpkins. And so I need to get shopping so I can fully explore my options.

There are lots of other foods to choose from. In the Harry Potter books, they mention food all the time. Like, Roast beef, milk, roast chicken, ham, tea, fried sausages, stew, pumpkin juice, hamburger casserole, casserole, tripe, pork chops, shepherd's pie, Cornish pasties, lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, steak and kidney pudding, steak and kidney pie, black pudding, rock cakes, bath buns, chicken and ham sandwiches, bread, marshmallows, lemon drops, crumpets, baked pumpkin, roast potatoes, jacket potatoes, boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, chicken drumsticks, homemade bread, chips, Yorkshire pudding, peas, sprouts, carrots, gravy, ketchup, custard tart, apple pie, treacle tart, chocolate eclairs, jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, and rice pudding, bouillabaisse, blancmange, porridge, rolls, orange juice, kippers, eggs and bacon, toast, jam, corn flakes, turkey, chipolatas, gravy, cranberry sauce, turkey sandwiches Christmas pudding, eggnog, trifle, Christmas cake, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, treacle fudge, chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties, cauldron cakes, Liquorice Wands, Pepper Imps, chocolate balls full of strawberry mousse and clotted cream, Sugar Quills, tooth flossing string mints, Jelly Slugs, mince pie, brittle, nougat, coconut ice, ton tongue toffees, Fizzing Whizbees, ice mice, peppermint toads, blood flavoured lollipops, Cockroach Cluster, fudge flies, Acid Pops, sherbet balls, pumpkin tart, Butterbeer, Red Currant Rum, Gillywater, Mulled Mead, Firewhisky, and elderflower wine. And I am sure that I have missed a bunch.

I had plans to make chocolate wands, but now I can't find a reference to chocolate wands, only licorice wands. And I don't think I can get very creative with licorice wands, so, I have decided to focus my efforts on the pumpkin pasties.

Although pancakes are never mentioned, I have a very good recipe for pumpkin pancakes, so we are having pumpkin pancakes for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Pumpkin Pecan Pancakes

2 cups all purpose flour
4 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups solid pack pumpkin
3 eggs
1 cup milk
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
4 oz. chopped pecans (optional)

Sift dry ingredients and set aside. Using a large bowl, combine
pumpkin, eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla. Add dry ingredients and stir
until blended; stir in pecans just before ready to cook.

Pumpkin pancakes with sausages, almost more excited than the book! Yum! Yum!

When You Realize You Can Never Go Home Again

2007-07-14T12:05:00.000-06:00

When is a post not a post?
When it looks like a, well, when it looks phallic.
Some Keizer residents are saying their city has installed posts that have an unnerving resemblance to male genitalia. (Statesman Journal: "Keizer posts require delicate maneuvering")

BUT WAIT, here's the best part. Hoping to avoid the expense of tearing out and replacing the offending knobs, city officials are now considering adding a metal collar just below each head and joining the shafts together with chains. Because that de-sexualizes them completely. (Boing Boing: "Concrete cocks terrorize Oregon town")

This is the little town I grew up in. This is the little town I loved. It hurts my heart to see such ridiculousness coming from my little hometown.

Sir Kenelm Digby's Birthday, or The Day We All Should Go Watch Harry Potter, July 11th

2007-07-11T12:38:00.000-06:00

Sir Kenelm Digby, according to my Forgotten English Calendar, was a "colorful English writer" and was interested in the "six follies of science:" which included: "the squaring of the circle, perpetual motion, the philosopher's stone, magic, astrology, and the elixir of life."

Honestly, I have never heard of Kenelm Digby. But, he sounds like a wizard. If he was, he probably would want his birthday celebrated in a wizardly way. You know, like going to go watch the new Harry Potter movie.

If you missed your opportunity to attend a midnight showing of the movie, where you can see half of the audience dressed up like various Harry Potter characters, you really missed out. Okay, you really didn't. You got a good night's sleep, and are well rested for work and you didn't have to deal with the interruptions of cheering and clapping and woot-wooing at every few minutes. I was most bothered by some weird cheering when one of the characters that we are supposed to like died. Hello? Even if you didn't read the book, weren't y'all paying attention to who that was? Harry hugged him, like, five times in the movie; that means he's a good guy.

Anyway, I thought that this was a pretty good adaptation of the book, even if it felt a bit rushed. It was interesting to me that they did not explain anything. They assumed the audience knew the story, knew the characters. I liked that. If you hadn't read the books you might have wondered, "Hey, why does that woman with the pink hair get to fly around with Harry so much?" It would have just taken a few seconds of dialogue to explain, but it wouldn't have added anything to the forward motion of the plot. But, since she was an important character, she would have been missed by HP fans. I'm glad Tonks was there, but, I'm glad they didn't spend unnecessary time explaining that she is an auror.

Even with the rushing, I think they got all the important characters, plot elements, and themes covered. I liked that this really wasn't a children's story any more. It's the beginning of a dark time for Harry and his friends and the colors in the film and play of light present that mood well. The editing and story-flow was a little choppy, but I hope there will be an extended version that will smooth that out a bit. Umbridge was perfect. Bellatrix was perfect. I even liked how they worked with Snape's character.

Yes, I can recommend the new Harry Potter movie, and I don't really recommend the other ones. Except for the third one. It will be a good Sir Kenelm Digby's Birthday Day activity for you.

Puppy

2007-07-08T22:27:00.000-06:00

For the last week, I have been dog-sitting Edgy's dog, Puppy. And now I want to take her home with me. My mom also want me to take her home with me. I want to take her home with me, because she is very good company, and I think that I am getting tired of living by myself. My mom want me to take Puppy home with me, because she thinks that I am cranky if I am tired, and likes that Puppy makes me go to bed. Yeah, Puppy decides when it is bedtime, and makes me go to bed.

I also have decided that I want to move to downtown Salt Lake City. I have decided it is much more fun to live in a ethnically diverse and richly cultural area, at least an area that is more ethnically diverse and cultural than the area that I live now. It's just neat to see dread locks and goths and non-white people, and Churches that aren't Mormon while walking on a simple morning walk. That doesn't happen in Pleasant Grove, where I live, or in Provo, where I work. Yeah for diversity!

Anyway, I've been having lots of fun with Puppy. I have tried to discover how much fur I can brush off of her, given unlimited amounts of time. I stopped after two hours. My black t-shirt no-longer looked black, and there were still loose hairs. I was trying to help her loose a layer of her fur coat because it is unbelievably hot here in Utah, and no relieve is in sight. But, now, Edgy's living room rug has a lot of dog hair on it, and I can't find the vacuum... but I haven't looked too hard. Sorry, Edgy, you are going to have to vacuum when you come home.

Tonight, while I was packing up to go back home in the morning, Puppy knows something is up. She stole one of my flip flops, and ran out into the dark back yard. Now, normally, this would not have been a big deal, because they were four dollar flip flops, but, they were the only footwear I had brought, and I didn't fancy the thought of limping alongside Puppy on her morning walk with only one flip flop. So, I ran outside after her. I couldn't see her for a while, but I did, she was there, running full force at me, and she head butted me! Right on my shin! That will leave a mark. Well, we chased each other around the yard for about a half and hour, and I eventually found my flip flop, so all is well.

Now, she is calling me to bed, with short brisk barks, so I had better get going, mostly because I am not done packing up my stuff yet. I am especially not done packing if I am to sneak her home to live with me.... just kidding Edgy!

Tagged

2007-06-29T12:54:00.000-06:00

Today I was tagged by Soccer Dad, which is kind of a good thing because I don't think I have ever really been tagged before, and I was beginning to think that I wasn't a real blogger because I haven't ever been tagged. And, well, I have read blogs where bloggers have said "everyone reading this should consider themselves tagged," but really, I don't consider myself tagged, because I really feel like an uninvited party guest unless I get a formal invitation to participate in things like that.

Anyway, if you want to find out more about who tagged me, and you really should, because he is a very good read, and because he lists me as a humor blog, which boosts my ego, so you should go here. Soccer Dad once described me as:

"the exact opposite of me in a number of ways - She's blue in a red state from the western end of I-70 and I'm red in a blue state at the eastern end of I-70."

My favorite recent post of Soccer Dad's is this one which talks about Harry Potter plot development.

Well, anyway, I guess I should get to the point, and to the tag.

The Rules are:Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

So, my eight things:

At 32 years old, I am the youngest person at my place of employment by fifteen years, and one example of the generation gap is, I am the only employee that uses email for memos, and it drives me crazy-nuts to get a paper memo. (All that wasted paper!) So, at least three times a week, I grind my teeth because of memos.
I feel like I am the type of person that should like puzzles. I mean, I can sit for hours trying out all sorts of different shades of a colors for a color block on a tri-fold pamphlet and think that I had a successful day. Which seems like the same kind of activity as a puzzle. But, it's not. Two minutes of a puzzle and I am done. It's like someone already had something done, and then decided to mess it all up. Why do that?
I love to read cookbooks and recipes on the internet, but I rarely actually follow a recipe.
I love white water river rafting, and if I could have a summer vacation college student-style again, I would be a river raft guide.
I used to mock women who wore flip-flops with dresses or other professional clothing. But, now I wear them too. I know, I hang my head in shame.
I drove a car in college that was held together by wire, chewing gum, and faith. I still miss that car, and my newest car, a station wagon, is a tribute to that car.
I have curtains and a rod that I bought almost a year ago to put in my bedroom and I haven't hung them because I am not quite sure how. When I do figure them out, I am going to re-arrange everything in my room around the curtains.
I apply for a new job every time my boss goes out of town. He is gone next week, and will be gone again in August.

And now I need to get back to work, but I will be taging my eight bloggers soon!

2007-06-21T15:57:00.000-06:00

Today was First Day to Wear New Khaki Pants Day. Today was also, The Amazing Toner Explosion Day, and The Permanent Ink Fountain Pen Massive Gooey Malfunction Day.

Who knew?

Green Day

2007-06-18T15:02:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, when I listen to Green Day, I get tired. Because seriously, how long can people be expected to sustain that much anger? And don't they ever get tired of being so angry?

But some days, Green Day is just the right amount of angry to make me not tired any more.

Midsummer

2007-06-17T20:20:00.000-06:00

As you have surely noticed, the nights are getting shorter, the days hotter, and the required clothing necessary for public decency is getting less, and less. This is not a new phenomena. Even Shakespeare noted it, much more poetically than I will ever be able to pretend, in his tale about the one of the few nights in the year where mysterious, magical, sometimes spooky, but always enchanting beings can interact with mankind. (The other three nights are the other solstice, Mid-Winter's Eve, and the cross-quarter days, All Hallow's Eve, and Beltane, also known as May Day.)

I have blogged in the past about the importance of Midsummer, but, that was a year ago, and perhaps you have forgotten everything that needs to be done to get ready. It's actually not much, just clean house, gather wood for bonfires, take naps now so you can stay up late on a weeknight... but anyway here is a short list of traditions that you can try. If you aren't afraid to go out to play with all the fairies, that is.

Traditionally, you are supposed to stay up to midnight on the night before solstice, the 20th, to welcome the day of sunlight, and then the night of Solstice burn fires to say good-bye to the sun.

If you don't want to burn bonfires, you can just burn herbs at midnight to appease Odin.

Also, at midnight, you are supposed to run naked into the nearest body of water to ensure good fortune for the coming year. I, personally, will now be avoiding all bodies of water at midnight, especially the community pool.

Wash all your linen, beat all your rugs, and make everything fresh to keep the fairies out.

Dew gathered on Midsummer's Night can heal sicknesses.

Water gathered on Midsummer's Night will have magical properties.

Leaves gathered on Midsummer's Night and used as bandages relieve pain.

Midsummer is supposed to be a favorable time to find a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you know who you want, and you need to make them want you, you are supposed to roll around on their property naked in the light of the midsummer moon. (Just don't let them or any of their family members catch you because "midsummer" is not a legal defense for trespass.)

An unmarried girl is supposed to fast on Midsummer Eve and at midnight set her table with a clean cloth, bread, cheese and ale, then leave her yard door open and wait. The boy she will marry, or his spirit, will come in and feast with her.

If you don't know who you want to marry, according to Nordic tradition, if you place wildflowers under your pillows on Midsummer Eve you will dream of your future mate. Some traditions say you must gather nine flowers, some say you must gather them in silence, and some say that one of the flowers must be gathered from a churchyard. You might want to do all three requirements to make it work. I haven't yet tried the churchyard flowers yet. Somehow, it just seems like stealing to me.

Also, on Midsummer's Eve a single woman should write the letters of the alphabet on pieces of paper. Then she must place them face down in water. On Midsummer's morning her true love's initial should be facing up. I think that this tradition could be a unisex tradition.

But, all you guys out there, you must crawl under a blackberry bush on Midsummer's Day to catch a glimpse of your future mate's shadow. I am not sure how a glimpse of a shadow will help much, but then, dreams and initials don't help all that much either.

Quite Possibly the Absolute Worst Two Personality Traits to Have In Combination

2007-06-12T16:34:00.000-06:00

Procrastination.

Impatience.

Yes, We Have a Banana!

2007-06-06T17:45:00.000-06:00

Today at work I saw something that I have never seen before. Yes, that banana up there, someone left it as a present for me and my coworkers. Well, probably not really for us; they probably just didn't know what to do with a giant banana.

Anyway, now we have a big banana. A very big banana. And this is not a Photoshopped banana, because as you can see, there is a reflection of the banana in the water on the pavement, which also proves that the photo was taken today because it is very wet in Utah today. (Sorry Edgy).

Anyway, if you get forwarded an email with that photo, and the words:

For lunch I only had a little pasta with olive oil and parmesan, and a salad, and perhaps a banana.

just you know that email was created at the desk of the Absent-minded Secretary!

Birds Stop Singing, June 5th

2007-06-05T09:55:00.000-06:00

Birds Stop Singing

Yesterday, when I was researching Birds Stop Singing, the only information I could find about this day stated:

"In some early medieval calendars, this is listed as the date the Birds Stop Singing." (School of the Seasons)

But, Birds Stop Singing Day wasn't noted in any of my book-type resources, (the Calendar of Vanishing Vocabulary and Folklore for 2007, The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore, The Encyclopedia of Things that Never Were, The Faber Book of Useful Verse, or The Dance of Time: The Origins of the Calendar A Miscellany of History and Myth) nor on any of my online resources, which other than School of the Seasons areCalendar of the Month, Fun Holidays, Holiday Insights, Nova Roma, Old Farmer's Almanac, and Sky News, (by the way, tomorrow will be the best day to view Jupiter and its moons). So, I was about to give up on Birds Stop Singing Day. It was a nice idea, but, it seem to be a non-provable holiday.

But, this morning as I was getting ready for work, and I was listening to the news, and the weatherman said that the birds wouldn't be singing today because the wind would be blowing rather strongly over most of the state for the majority of the day.

So, apparently, the medieval calendarists knew what they were calendering.

On a personal note, today, fifteen years ago, I graduated from high school. Yep, I am really that old. So, I am wearing blue and white today, my Alma Matter's colors, and I am also wearing the pearl necklace that my grandmother gave me to wear at the graduation ceremony.

Also, this is the fifteen year anniversary of Game 2 of the NBA Playoffs, the Portland Trailblazers against the Chicago Bulls. Portland won in overtime. One of the best games ever. Everyone at my graduation, speakers included, listened to the game on their Walkmans. Anyone who didn't bring a Walkman was updated of the score at regular intervals from the podium. Clyde "the Glide" Drexler fowled out during the fourth quarter. And that is what I remember most about my high school graduation.

Rusalka Week, or the Week of Love Sickness

2007-06-04T09:08:00.000-06:00

Rusalka Week

A rusalka is a fish-woman from slavic mythology, with the dark ghostly-sexual undertones like a succubus. Rusalka are women or children who have died violently before their time. These woman or children have been jilted by their lovers, or have been born out of wedlock and have been murdered by those most dear to them, or have committed suicide. They are dangerous mostly to men, and like to seduce men by singing to them, then wrapping their arms around them to then pull them under the water to drown them.

While rusalka are dangerous, they do serve some good. They have some control over the fertility of the living things near them and some control over the regular passing of the seasons. As we all want the lands around us to be fertile, (and maybe because even we want to be fertile) and maybe because of the freaky global warming seasonal issues we should want to have a few rusalka around.

Rusalka Week, the first full week of June, is the most active time for the rusalka. Rusalka will be more active than usual, and we all should take caution. Because the rusalka are in their situation because of false love, they will lure others to the same state. Be careful of any feelings of love that begin during Rusalka Week. These feelings are not true love but a "love sickness" spell cast by a nearby rusalka. During Rusalka Week:

You should not should go swimming; you could be dragged to a watery grave by a rusalka.
Women who wish to be protected from love sickness should not spin, weave, wash their hair, or sleep during the day.
Men who wish to be protected from love sickness should wear a garland of walnuts and garlic.

I am sorry to say, I have washed my hair today. I guess I washed all my protection away. Sigh.

Leave the Office Early Day, June 1st

2007-06-01T09:50:00.000-06:00

Leave the Office Early Day

Now, I know that most of you are thinking that since it already is a short work week, why on earth would it be okay to leave the office early. Well, last night we had a blue moon. If you believe that things go all crazy-like during a full moon, then surely, two full moons in one month is a good excuse to leave the office early.

Some people believe that a holiday weekend makes the work week feel longer and more torturous, rather than shorter. If you are one of those people, again, you should go home early.

And finally, there are some people who didn't have a holiday weekend because they worked on home improvement type activities all weekend. And those people should most definitely go home early.

End of the Middle Ages Day, May 29th

2007-05-29T11:33:00.000-06:00

End of the Mid dle Ages Day

May 29, 1453 is considered by many historians to be the end of the Middle Ages, (and therefore the Beginning of the Renaissance), and because of this, some people decided it would be good to celebrate the End of the Middle Ages, and some even call it a good day to give gifts.

On this day the city of Constantinople fell to the Ottoman Empire after being under siege for almost two months. So, why is this specific turning point significant? Because of the fall of Constantinople, the Byzantine (Greek) scholars migrated away from Constantinople which had been their political center. This scattering encouraged studies of Greek culture outside of the Byzantine Empire and began a revival of learning based on classical Greek sources, which began the Renaissance.

So, how do we celebrate the end of the Middle Ages? Well, one of my favorite ways to celebrate is with food. I found quite a few recipes here, and here, and here. I would probably try to think of more ways to celebrate, but my lunch break is over, so I should get back to work in the next few minutes.

So, in which ever way you celebrate, even if you just read a bit about the Fall of Constantinople, have a wonderful End of the Middle Ages Day.

World Turtle Day, May 23rd

2007-05-23T00:01:00.000-06:00

World Turtle Day
If you don't know how to celebrate World Turtle Day, perhaps Michael the Turtle can help.

Frankin Days, or the Reason Not to Kill the Messenger

2007-05-22T19:39:00.000-06:00

It seems that my life is in jeopardy since I quoted an old bit of Devonshire weather folklore.

Thunder in May
Frightens the Summer away.

In my own defense, I would like to state that it is not my fault it is snowing in Park City, Utah. It is, however, the fault of a Devonshire man named Frankin, because apparently, New England Puritans weren't the only people who frequently sold their souls to the Devil. According to The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore:

"Sharp frosts which sometimes occur about this time are the revenge of one Frankin, a beer-brewer put out of business by competition from cider. He therefore vowed his soul to the Devil in return for frost on each of the three 'Frankin's Days' around May the twenty-first, hoping that these would kill the apple-blossom and ruin the cider crop (Kightly 82).

So, Edgy, the reason why it snowed today? Because hops bloom in August.

Thunder in May

2007-05-21T16:55:00.000-06:00

According to The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore,

Thunder in May
Frightens the Summer away.

I just heard thunder's dooming boom. Bye, bye summer!

National Memo Day, May 21st

2007-05-21T00:33:00.000-06:00

Memo

To: Almanac Readers
From: Absent-minded Secretary
Date: May 21, 2007
Subject: National Memo Day

As it is currently National Memo Day, it has been proposed that all communication to and from the Almanac be in the form of a memo. If there are any questions regarding this change of policy, please direct them to Absent-minded Secretary via a memo.

Thank You!

Auntie Absent... part II

2007-05-18T00:33:00.000-06:00

Baby Niece looks worried that Baby Niece II might steal her center-of-attention-ness.

Twilight Zone Day, May 11th

2007-05-11T13:40:00.000-06:00

Twilight Zone Day

For Twilight Zone Day, I would like to present real lawn furniture. The furniture created for the greenest of treehuggers.

To me, it looks like there is something scary hiding underneath the lawn ...
just...
waiting...
for the right moment...

Clean Up Your Room Day, May 10th

2007-05-10T15:13:00.000-06:00

Clean Up Your Room Day

Today is Clean Up Your Room Day, and what perfect timing it is for clean up your room day, because today is the first day of spring. In Absent-minded Almanac world, spring has not sprung until the first time I hear the song "Dreams" while I am driving in my car with the windows down. Last night while I was driving north on I-15 with my windows down, on my way to celebrate Day Four of the Week of Edgy, I heard the song. Anyway, now it's spring, and now we can begin spring cleaning.

I believe that to do anything correctly, I must first read about how other people do the same thing, because, who knows, I could have been cleaning my room the wrong way my whole life! I mean, when I clean my room I usually begin with dusting the bookshelves. Then, after I have read two books that I had forgotten that I haven't read, I remember that I was going to clean my room... last week. So, maybe there is a more efficient way to clean one's room.

The first place to look when you want to learn how to do something is Wikihow.com. Now, Wikihow does have several entries about how to clean and organize, but I was drawn to an entry titled How to Clean Your Room. This article has a very interesting suggestion for all of us who are procrastinators by nature.

Pretend that mutant aliens are coming and if the room is not clean in (insert time) you are doomed.

I had never thought of this approach before. I thought that I was being creative when I was seven and I made my younger brothers take turns being Cinderella while I was the evil step-mother so I wouldn't have to clean. Yes, I was one of those mean older sisters.

While I would like to be able to tell you that I am going to try the "Alien Deadline for Room Cleaning" tonight, I must be honest. I will probably just sit on my couch and watch The Office while eating cancer causing microwave popcorn.

Lost Sock Memorial Day, May 9th

2007-05-09T00:32:00.000-06:00

Lost Sock Memorial Day

Poor mismatched pair!

Day of Edgy, May 7th

2007-05-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

Day of Edgy

"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents..." -Lewis Carroll

Happy Birthday Edgy! May you get one new book for each of the candles on your birthday cake!

Avoiding Day, May 3rd

2007-05-03T16:27:00.000-06:00

According to The Perpetual Almanack of Folklore, May the 3rd is "Avoiding Day." This is a very unlucky day because it is believed that this is the day the bad angels were kicked out of heaven. These fallen angels are allowed to haunt the earth on this day which makes it a very bad day to do things, and we should avoid starting anything.

So, the pile on my desk, I have a reason for ignoring it today.

2007-05-03T08:47:00.000-06:00

At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year, the time and date will be...

02:03:04 05/06/07

Feast Day of St. Expeditus, April 19th

2007-04-19T15:03:00.000-06:00

Feast Day of St. Expeditus

St. Expeditus (while no longer recognized by the Catholic Church) is the patron saint against procrastination, for urgent causes, prompt solutions, merchants, navigators, computer programmers, and e-commerce. According to legend, St. Expeditus was a Roman soldier who converted to Christianity. On the day when Expeditus made the decision to become a Christian, the Devil took the form of a crow and told St. Expeditus his conversion could wait until the next day. Expeditus stomped on the bird, and shouted "I'll be a Christian today!"

It is possible that Expeditus did not exist. Some historians speculate that the idea of the saint may have stemmed from a misunderstanding that occurred when Parisian nuns received a crate of relics from Rome labeled for "expedited" delivery and mistakenly thought the label referred to the name of a saint.

I feel as if I should have some sort of bond with St. Expeditus because I am a procrastinator, and perhaps when I pray under my breath for things to work out, maybe he is listening and watching over me. If I were Catholic, that is.

I am a very bad procrastinator. I haven't blogged about National Drop Everything And Read Day (April 12th), National Library Worker's Day (April 17th), or National Library Week (April 15th-21st). I meant to blog about D.E.A.R., and then I really meant to blog about D.E.A.R. after reading Neel's post about Library Week (by the way, if you don't already read Neel, you really ought to. He will give you the best information about how to attend movies before they are released on his advance movie screening guide.)

Well, I guess I still haven't really blogged about D.E.A.R. or Library Week, so I guess that St. Expeditus isn't helping me today.

Cheese Ball Day, April 17th

2007-04-17T11:56:00.000-06:00

Cheese Ball Day

That is, we are supposed to eat them, not be them.

2007-04-15T21:41:00.000-06:00

Reading Harry Potter books always makes me hungry. In book IV, which I am reading because it is the assigned book for April as part of Edgy's Book Club, J.K Rowling has twice mentioned beef casserole. Now I want stroganoff, or tater tot casserole anything pumpkin, and maybe some butterbeer.

April 13, 1844

2007-04-13T16:28:00.000-06:00

On this date in 1844, the New York Sun printed a story of the first transatlantic flight, which took only three days in Mr. Monck Mason's flying machine. But, how can that be? The Wright brothers didn't fly the first successful airplane until 1903... which was 59 years previous to 1844, right?

Yes right. The story "The Atlantic Crossed in Three Days in Mr.Monck Mason's Flying Machine!" was written by Edgar Allan Poe, and became known as "The Balloon Hoax."

Gotta love Edgar!

2007-04-13T11:33:00.000-06:00

paraskavedekatriaphobia

Cerealia

2007-04-12T13:38:00.000-06:00

Cerealia

Somewhere about this time in April is the festival of Cerealia. Cerealia is a 5-8 day celebration of the Roman goddess Ceres. Ceres is the goddess of growing plants,(there is a statue of Ceres on the dome of the Vermont State House building, to remind us of the importance of agriculture to Vermont's economy and history), grains (hence the word cereal) and motherly love (her Greek name is Demeter, and her daughter is Kore a.k.a Persephone).

To celebrate Cerealia traditionally, you should make a spelt cake, and offer it to Ceres, but that recipe doesn't sound very yummy, and she might not like it. You could fancy-up a spelt cake with apples or chocolate, to eat all by yourself, which could be fun. Or you could be like me and just eat cereal. You know how they say you shouldn't grocery shop when you are hungry? Yeah, well, I just bought five huge boxes of cereal, for the one of me. Apparently, I like the idea of cereal when I am hungry.

I guess I had better go buy some milk too.

Poetry & the Creative Mind Day, April 11th; National Poetry Month

2007-04-11T15:58:00.000-06:00

Poetry & the Creative Mind Day

If you like poetry, you should celebrate Poetry & the Creative Mind Day. If you want to celebrate poems longer than one day, you should know that April is National Poetry Month. If you are having a hard time forcing yourself to be creative, Poets.org gives us some ideas with their 30 Ways to Celebrate page. My favorite ideas are "Take a Poem Out to Lunch", "Get out the Sidewalk Chalk and Commit a Poem to Pavement", and "Put Some Poetry in an Unexpected Place".

Today at lunch I tried to recite a poem, any poem, and my brain just froze. Out of all the poems from all the poets that I had been required to memorize for a grade, or even those that have just became part of my subconscious from reading over and over again over the years... it's like they weren't there. I couldn't remember any of my Frost, or Parker, or Dickinson, or Lewis, or Yeats; the only poem that I remembered enough to recite was Shel Silverstein's "I Cannot Go To School Today", which probably means that I shouldn't be at work today. You know, because I have the measles and the mumps, a gash and rash and purple bumps...

Tell the Truth Day, April 4th

2007-04-04T16:20:00.000-06:00

Tell the Truth Day

It's Tell the Truth Day. Or is it?

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, April 2nd

2007-04-02T00:46:00.000-06:00

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

I don't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I do like peanut butter and jelly cookies. I don't think that I am feeling much like making them, but, I am sure that there are lots of other ways to celebrate peanut butter and jelly.

April Fools Day, April 1st

2007-04-01T14:01:00.000-06:00

April Fools Day

My dad's birthday is April Fools Day. (My mom's birthday is Washington's Birthday, and one of my brother's birthday is Columbus Day, and another brother's birthday is intermittently on Mother's Day, which is probably why I am so interested in holidays, but I digress.) I love April Fools Day, and most of all I love April Fools jokes from the media.

One year when I was in Oregon to celebrate my Dad's birthday and, I think, Easter, there was a radio broadcast stating that Oregon had passed a new law that required all pets, including cats and ferrets, to wear car harnesses. According to the broadcast, any violation would receive a citation and a fine. The broadcast went on for quite a long time, and the funniest part of the prank was the amazing number of callers who called in completely outraged by the "new law." But, to be fair, I believed it, and argued with my Dad about the merits of the new law for at least five minutes.

The British really know how to celebrate April Fools. The Guardian (a newspaper) published on April 1, 1977 a seven page article about the republic of San Serriffe, located in the Indian Ocean and consisting of two semi-colon-shaped islands named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. This became a running joke at the Guardian, who has published follow up articles on April Fools Day in 1978, 1980, and 1999.

Another British AF's joke, which I'm sure that you have read about, was the Swiss Spaghetti Harvest. If you haven't seen it already, you should watch it on BBC's On This Day.

If you want to read about the top 100 April Fools Day hoaxes from around the world, you should read about them here. They really are quite funny.

For April Fools 2007, we have several hoaxes floating about the internet.

1. From Google, the best April Fools Day search engine, we can get Free Wireless Internet, and don't forget the page that tells you how to install.

2. And again from Google, Gmail Paper, and

3. we can read about No Privacy Anymore, or

4. where to go to get a Tattoo for Your Toddler

Happy April Fools Day!

Hares & Rabbits

2007-03-30T15:25:00.000-06:00

For good luck in the upcoming month you should say, "hares, hares, hares" when you go to bed on the last day of the month (any month not just March), and then say "rabbits, rabbits, rabits" as soon as you get up the next morning.

I'm not sure why. Someone just told me.

Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, March 27th

2007-03-27T15:01:00.000-06:00

Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day

Last year Edgy wasn't happy because I did not include a list of quirky country music titles with my post that noted the existence of Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. I am not a lover of country music, in fact, my vision of hell is me sitting at a desk with a broken chair in an unconditioned office in Arizona, in July, and having to correct circular reference errors on a neverending pile of useless spreadsheets, while listening to country music. But, since we are quickly approaching (in 41 days) the Day of Edgy, I thought it would be appropriate to concede to his year-old request. So, everyone should go thank Edgy for this cannon of quirky canticles.

I decided to split these titles up into three quirky categories in order to maximize their impact, otherwise, the funniness gets lost, at least for me.

Livestock

"Hair In My Eyes Like A Highland Steer"
"You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd"
"May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose"

Good Love

"It Was An Absolutely Finger Lickin', Grits And Chicken Country Music Love Song"
"She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"
"Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off"
"Get Your Biscuits out o' the Oven and Your Buns into Bed"

Love Gone Wrong

"Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye"
"I Gave Her The Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger"
"I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home"
"Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass"
"You're the Hangnail in My Life"
"It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long"
& "I Can See Your Aura and It’s Ugly"

Make Your Own Holiday Day, March 26th

2007-03-26T12:18:00.000-06:00

Make Your Own Holiday Day

Have you ever wondered how you could make your own very special holiday? Well, today is Make Your Own Holiday Day . This day only comes once a year, so you should take advantage of this. Really, you can get a lot of mileage out of a day like today. It means that whatever you want everyone around you to celebrate, anything at all, you can do it today, simply by saying, "It's Let's Eat Frog Legs for Breakfast Day!"

If you want to celebrate a Tapas Day, a Trixie Belden Mystery Day, or a Everyone-Wears-Flip-flops-and-Likes-It-Even-if-It's-Snowing-Day, you can!

The possibilities are endless... just don't tell your friends that they can make their own holiday, or you might be eating frog legs for dinner!

Nice Fragrance Day, March 23rd

2007-03-23T01:11:00.000-06:00

Nice Fragrance Day

So, this morning when I packed for my work-related trip to Springdale, Utah, I was not very awake, and it is obvious by what I am finding in my suitcase, and more importantly, what I am not finding in my suitcase.

For example, I did not pack any of these pretty essential items:

Toothbrush,
Toothpaste,
Deodorant,
Underwear, yes, no underwear,
Socks, or
Any type of outerwear like a coat or sweatshirt.

But, I did pack:

Four Books, (for a four day work trip)
Two different kinds of bath salts,
Two kinds of shampoo,
Two kinds of bath soap,
My expensive but favorite scented lotion that I never travel with because I don't want to loose it,
Two DVDs, (This is the weirdest addition. I have never traveled with DVDs.)and
Six pair of pants- for a four day trip

Yeah, I'm an awesome packer.

But, at least I will be as bathed as thoroughly as is humanly possible, and will smell good because all my scents match.

International Goof-off Day, March 22nd

2007-03-22T03:07:00.000-06:00

International Goof-off Day

Woot woo! Can we say a pool, and a book, and very white legs... hmmm, maybe not.

How about facial and then a hike to the Emerald Pools, or maybe I should do the hike first and then the facial so I don't clog all the pores that I just unclogged with the sweat that will likely be pouring off of the tip of my nose.

Oh well, even if it's even if all I do to treat myself to four of my five hours of Garrison Keillor while driving down to the southern most parts of Yoootah, I think that today will be quite nice.

Proposal Day, March 20th

2007-03-20T12:51:00.000-06:00

Proposal Day

Ummm...

Never mind.

You know, if you can't say anything nice and all.

Ode to a cell phone, with many apologies to William Carlos Williams

2007-03-19T06:08:00.000-06:00

So much depends
upon

a gray cell
phone

missing without charged
battery

hidden from sight.
Dead.

I'm so lame...

2007-03-16T22:40:00.000-06:00

I lost my cell phone again.

3.14 or Pi Day! , March 14th

2007-03-14T12:14:00.000-06:00

Pi Day!

Oh my gosh! I almost forgot about Pi Day! Thank goodness that Soccer Dad reminded me or we might have gone all day without recognizing the wonderfulness that is Pi! If you want to go all out, hold your celebration at 1:59 pm, which will mean that you are recognizing the six-digit approximation of Pi: 3.14159.

If you want to send an ecard to someone to share the joy of Pi day, you can check out this site, and this site, and this site.

If you are looking for a book to read about dragons and Pi, I would recommend, Sir Cumference and the Dragon of Pi: A Math Adventure .

Wikihow has quite a detailed page about how to celebrate Pi Day, including a link for How to Write an Ode About Math.

If those things don't help you in your search for how to celebrate Pi Day, this site has a lot of links to Pi things. And if you check out this site, and take a survey, you could win a free Pi t-shirt.

And you could always check out last year's Pi Day post. Last year was probably a better post. It has Pi in binary and some other fun links about Pi.

Or just read some Pi poetry, that should make your day great!

Irish American Day, March 14th

2007-03-14T00:08:00.000-06:00

Irish American Day

If you have even a little bit of Irish in you, you have a lot in common with 34.5 million Americans, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But, if you aren't Irish, don't feel left out, it's only three days until St. Patrick's Day, the day that everyone is Irish.

To learn more about why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day, check out the History Channel's The History of St. Patrick's Day. If after reading/watching all that Irishness, you become despondent and worried that the American version is so commercialized and a far cry from it's religious and historical beginnings in Ireland that we as a nation are all doomed to live soulless existences, then try some Irish soul food... aka potatoes. Check out these authentic Irish recipes, and stay at home and cook and invite all your friends over for an Irish feast. Your soul will be filled to the brim with friendship.

But, you really will miss a little bit of the fun if you aren't a little commercial. After all, we Americans were the ones who put the pinch in the traditions, so, put on a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" or "Erin Go Bragh" button, and go have some fun! (Please wear one for me, I seem to have lost my special blinking one, as well as my Erin Go Bragh wall hangings.) Sad!

If cooking Irish food doesn't sound too appealing, try a parade. There will be plenty around. Even Salt Lake City has one, and on the right day too! It was a fun parade last year, it was cold, and a little odd with all the Scottish bagpipe bands participating, but lots of fun. I highly recommend it.

What ever you do, remember today is the prep day for the real thing, so you can have a half a week of Irish fun!

Happy, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Jewelry Lovers Day, March 13th

2007-03-13T16:16:00.000-06:00

Jewelry Lovers Day

Since aquamarine is the birthstone for March, and because aquamarine is supposed to increase intelligence (always a good thing) and cure laziness (I have had a hard time buckling down and working these past couple of weeks), and also because it is Scorpio's (my sign's) birthstone, I have been wearing my aquamarine ring a lot lately.

Today, while I was up doing a site visit for work, my ring fell off. I got down on the floor and looked. So did everyone else. We couldn't find it anywhere. When after a half an hour of three people looking and no ring, I gave up. I was sad, but not devastated, because while I like my ring, but I know that it is not an expensive ring because the stone is light in color and cloudy and I remember that much from when I was a geology major... for two and a half semesters, a million years ago.

But, it was just weird. No ring anywhere. When I got back into the agency minivan, (it is probably not only worth mentioning that I was driving the agency minivan, but I am going to mention it because I was driving a vehicle that I was not comfortable driving, and am proud of myself for navigating near BYU traffic during lunchtime in a vehicle that I hate driving) to drive back to work, I had a weird thought. Check your clothes, the thought said. I checked my pockets, no ring. So, I started driving down the very steep hill. The nagging thought would not leave. So, I pulled over on the side of the very narrow road and patted myself down. I found the ring tucked into the cuff of my jeans. How it didn't fall out while I was down on my knees for twenty minutes looking for the ring, or when I walked up two flights of stairs on my way to the parking lot, I will never know, but I am glad to have my ring back, because I do like my jewelry.

Anyway, if you like jewelry, but you haven't ever really loved your birthstone, check out this site. There are lots of different stones you can choose for your favorite, based on birth month, zodiac sign, birth day of the week, Tribe of Israel, guardian angel or even apostle.

So, if any of you readers are thinking of buying me jewelry, I am opal for October, aquamarine for Scorpio, and carnelian for Friday. But, probably, garnets and pearls are my favorites.