Would you rather...
1) Have one million dollars handed to you today OR ten million in ten years?
Hmmm, Hmmm, I think that considering things right now, I might have to take the million. Anyone gotta million?
2) Be confined to you room for one year OR go wherever you want but always have to wear a giraffe costume?
I would rather stay in my room for a year. The giraffe costume would be way too warm for summer in Utah. It would get all smelly and stuff from being worn every day. And just exactly how seriously would my boss take me in a giraffe suit? And how would I type? And would PETA pursue me with spray paint? So much better to take a leave of absence for a year, "for research" and watch movies, and read books for a few months, perhaps learn a language... But, all this would have to be financed somehow I suppose. Do I get the million and the year in the room at the same time? I would be like that lady on True Stories. Cool.
3) Have to let 30 five-year-old children have the complete run of your apartment for 3 hours with no rules OR let 2 sea lions have the complete run of your apartment for one hour?
If I could hand pick the 30 five-year-olds, totally the five-year-olds. I happen to like five-year-olds. At that age, kids generally understand what is right and wrong. I would just worry about the bad-apple raising such hell that the rest of the five-year-olds would not know how to respond to the lack of authority. And they might hurt themselves. I don't want to be responsible for a five-year-old getting hurt in my apartment. 
So, I would prefer the 2 sea lions. I've seen sea lions. They don't move when they are on land. They just lie in the sun and bark. I would just leave them in the living room, and shut my bedroom door and turn my music up REALLY LOUDLY so that I couldn't hear them barking. 4) Have your feet replaced by wheels without brakes OR your hands replaced by hooks?
I think that I would like the wheels for feet without brakes, but only if Lemony Snicket would give me a new name.
5) Would you rather try to elude the pursuit of Wonder Woman OR Batman?
Batman, for two reasons. First: I would rather be chased by a boy than a girl. I want to be eventually caught by a boy, and I guess that Batman is as good as any man: wealthy, hard plastic chest, bat obsession, sleeps upside-down... "he has two good legs, life is give and take." (You win if you correctly guess the quote.) Second: If I were caught, I would much rather be taken away in the Batcar, than Wonder Woman's invisible plane. I don't want anyone looking up in the sky and seeing my butt pressed up against the glass of the invisible plane flying above their heads. Just wrong. And the Batcar just seems a lot more private for interrogations.
Not twenty minutes ago, I dreamt of sitting inside the invisible plane while Wonder Woman washed the exterior. Very odd. I kid you not.
ReplyDeleteAMS! Scandalized here! What exactly do you mean by "interrogations"?
ReplyDeleteGood choice, though, because you wouldn't have to worry about the Batman killing you, since he's taken an oath to preserve human life. Wonder Woman, on the other hand, has really turned a dark corner as of late. Wasn't she kicked out of the Justice League for murder? No, she would not be fun to face in a dark alley. Maybe she would be a good replacement for Flavor Flave if there's ever a Public Enemy reunion. Flave seems to have lost his edge... for some reason... as of late.
Two good legs? Is it "Much Ado About Nothing"? I don't have my copy with me, but I know Beatrice talks about her male ideal having at least one good leg.
Everyone-- I'm married to LL, and I have never been more in love with her than I am right now! I can't believe she was actually listening when I told her about WW murdering Maxwell Lord! I can't believe she actually processed my discorse on Batman's vow.
ReplyDeleteMost people just nod along and ignore me!
LL-- I love DC Comics... but I love you more!!! You're more important to me than the Justice League AND the Justice Society COMBINED. More important than all the Green Laterns in all the Corps on Oa. Oh yes, my love for IS THAT STRONG!
Anyway, I've got to go. I'm in the middle of reading Infinite Crisis, issue #4.
Master Fob: (Sorry I can't pronounce your name correctly in the comments, I need to learn how to do the tags right.) I am totally in awe over that bit of ESP going on between the Fobcave and the Almanac.
ReplyDeleteLL: I truly meant nothing by "interrogations," but, I can see your point and maybe I need to go back and put some quotes around the word. :) And I am very impressed with your Wonder Woman/Batman knowledge.
And, this movie is much more obscure than Much Ado. It's one that MM used to always tease me about... the full line is "Puerto Rican? He's got two good legs. Life is give and take." (I messed it up a bit the first time.) But, LL, you were my only hope for recognizing this quote. It doesn't show up when googled, and Wikipedia doesn't even have an entry for the movie. (I've just read the most horrible reviews of the movie, which make me want to shun American popular thought forever.)
Perhaps this quote will help: "When it comes to love, my friend, women cannot be trusted. They say one thing, they mean another. They're evil. They're the most evil of all creatures." (That's my brother's favorite line from the film.)
And, my dear, you have come very close to revealing my secret shame... a few well placed guesses, and someone will know! ;)
I am sorry to come so close to exposing you. Perhaps it is because I am inherently evil. Perhaps it is because hair loss is a scourge that must be stopped. Of course, I'm not balding, that's just my way of segueing into the suggestion that the quote came from "A Pyromaniac's Love Story". Of course! I should have known. "Two good legs." I am so blind. It's almost like I'm one of those girls who walks around with her eyes closed all of the time, with tons of eye shadow, looking thoroughly creepy and unbalanced. Or perhaps the unbalanced part comes from appearing on a reality show and confessing love for dirty old men. But I digress.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am evil. Sorry about that.
I sense with all six of my senses, that if I had to "interrogit" you with my eyes blindfolded and a sniff test, I would find that you are not evil. But you are walking a very find line my friend. ;)
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that I am so happy that no-one else gets what we are saying. Otherwise, I would have to hide my face forever. Or move to California.
Yeah for you guessing "A Pyromaniac's Love Story"! And yeah for me being able to list two of my top five favorite movies in the same blog! True Stories rules! Sigh. This has been such a nice blogging day.
I don't know these Anonymous and LL people, but I already like them, mainly because I know exactly what they're talking about with the Wonder Woman and Maxwell Lord thing.
ReplyDeleteAbsent, I'm going to go to bed now, so you post something on your blog and we'll see if I dream about it.
AMS- people don't move to California to escape ridicule. Although moving to somewhere from Ca definitely seems to invite it. But you have convinced me to drop that particular issue... mainly because your friendship truly is valued and fine lines are hard to manoeuver.
ReplyDeleteMaster fob- I, too, find you preposessing. Perhaps because I like the word 'fob'. Perhaps because I also dream about fictional characters (Various My Little Ponies, mostly). Have you considered that maybe the invisible plane was a SYMBOLIC invisible plane? It seems entirely possible. After all, I know someone who dreams about symbolic cannoli.
I played with a My Little Pony tonight.
ReplyDeleteIf you find me an awesome job in California, as well as good public transportation so I don't have to deal with traffic, I will move there.