Presidential Joke Day, August 11th

Presidential Joke Day

Before we get all excited about the piles and piles of jokes we can tell today, it turns out that Presidential Joke Day was declared by congress after a press boo boo made by Ronald Reagan.

It is a day set aside for U.S. Presidents to make jokes. This is how it all began. On August 11, 1984, President Ronald Reagan was testing a microphone before his regular Saturday radio speech, and did not realize the feed was live. He spoke into the microphone, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." A bit of surprise for the radio listening public.

Since Presidential Joke Day was started by a few mis-spoken words ... let's review a few words that our current president might have wished he hadn't said.
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• "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." -Yes, him or she can, because literacy is not much more than reading, right? Source: United Press International, "Bush Proposes Increase in Education Funds," Mark Kukis, Feb. 21, 2002


• "So for the students here, take heart in this concept. He gets a Ph.D. I get Cs. I'm the President and he's the advisor."-While on a college campus, Bush makes note of the education gap between himself and a professor. (White House, "President Discusses Strengthening Social Security in Iowa", March 30, 2005)

• "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. See, free nations do not develop weapons of mass destruction."-Like nuclear weapons? So W., does this mean the U.S. is not a free nation? Source: The Chicago Sun-Times, Oct. 13, 2003

• "We need to thin our forests in America." -Yeah, those darn trees are ruining our air quality with all that pollen. Trees harbor too many animal species that cost the government money when we clean their carcasses off of our freeways. Trees reduce soil erosion. How are we supposed to turn the rest of the U.S. into Texas if we don't have more soil erosion? Yep, let's get rid of those horrible, awful trees. Aug. 11, 2003 Source: The Arizona Republic, "In Arizona, Bush Touts His Idea to Thin Forests," Aug. 12, 2003.

• "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."—Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much. Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Roundtable Interview of the President by White House Press Pool," June 4, 2003

• "A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." There are so many times he makes this comment...Kindaa makes one wonder... Source: Business Week Online, "A Gentleman's "C" for W," Richard S. Dunham, July 30, 2001

• "First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill." -Bush, speaking about poverty, attempting to show open mindedness toward the plight of low-income citizens. Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "The President's News Conference With President Macapagal-Arroyo of the Philippines," May 26, 2003

• "There's an old saying in Tennessee-I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-—that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again." Isn't this taking not wanting to admit guilt a little too far? Source: The Washington Post, "The Reliable Source," Lloyd Grove,septat. 18, 2002

• "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."-—Bush finally explains his political strategy. (Washington Post, "The Ostrich Approach," Dan Froomkin, May 25, 2005)

• "I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves."-—[Emphasis added] Probably. Thanks for keeping up with your nation's issues. ( Washington, D.C.,septt. 21, 2003)

• "We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."-Yes, because the American people need encouragement to consume more than their fair share of the world's resources. Source: Trenton, N.J.,septt. 23, 2002

• "And so, in my State of the —my State of the Union -or state my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation, I asked Americans to give 4,000 years- —4,000 hours- over the next -the rest of your life- —of service to America. That's what I asked 4,000 hours." -I guess we can be happy he's not really asking for 55 lifetimes of servitude. (Bridgeport,connn., April 9, 2002)