Hi Neighbor Day, December 11th

Hi Neighbor Day

Today is Hi Neighbor Day. Today everyone should take a moment to introduce themselves to their neighbors, physical or electronic, in order to make the world a happier place.

For example:

Hi neighbor! My name is Absent-minded Secretary. I have a professionally decorated Christmas Tree, I would invite you to come see it, but it is resting today. It needed a break after the rush of holiday cheer that it received yesterday. I coerced my friends Edgy and Dec to come decorate my tree for me because I just wasn't in a Christmasy mood. I made them dinner, which was fun, and now my apartment is all Christmasy. I also got to try out some of my new cooking ideas that I got from watching my gastroporn shows.

I'm sorry, did I just shock you? Apparently, you didn't know that cooking shows are filmed with the same film techniques as porn. It makes sense right? Both are trying to document a sensory experience that cannot be replicated across the medium.

For last night's Christmas decorating party, I tried out a recipe using ideas from Ina Garten, Giada De Laurentiis, this recipe for Pearl Onion Jam, and other stuff rolling around in my head. Probably the two biggest influences on the dinner were the Pearl Onion Jam (because I am from the Northwest) and Ina Garten's butterflied pork loin (because it looks cool). Getting the butcher to butterfly the pork loin was an adventure.

I guess you can tell that I like to cook, but lately I have been forgetting to put eggs in stuff. Yesterday, I made a pecan pie. It turned out very not right. I think I forgot to put in one of the eggs. Edgy and Dec were very nice about it; they both ate all of their pie. When I blogged about making pecan pie, I forgot to put in the number of eggs in the recipe. The correct number of eggs for a pecan pie is three.

Also, I can make a horrible mess with an immersion blender, garlic cloves, raspberry vinegar and hazelnut oil. You, dear neighbor, want me to come over and cook for you, don't you.

You seem to be looking at my eye, dear neighbor. I don't blame you. It is a bit red. You see, I have an eye thing. Do you remember the Friends episode where Rachel has an eye thing? Yeah, that's me.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, because I just generally avoid the whole eye-drop thing, but I recently got a scratch on my eye when my eye doctor was removing a cyst, after he told me not to move, and now I look like Darth Maul... or at least one eye does.

To remedy the red-eye, I am having to ask my friends and co-workers to drop my drops into my eyes, and that isn't always convenient. When I have to drop the drops in myself, I have to tape my upper eyelid open and lie down on my bed so my eyelid and eyelashes don't flutter shut diverting the drops all over my face.

Edgy (who is also a neighbor of my cousin, a fact I didn't realize until Saturday night, and they could say "Hi" to each other) showed me a cool trick to help me keep the eye-drops in my lower eyelid pocket, so that I can drop the drops in without the danger of loosing all my eyelashes to Scotch Tape. I'm working on perfecting the technique. Maybe someday, if I practice lots and lots, I will become an expert eye-drop-dropper... or maybe tonight I will be knocking on your door, eye-drops in hand.

Just remember that I am not in the contagious stage of Pink Eye, I just have a scratch on my eye from a surgical instrument... because I flinched.

Anyway, that is how one would celebrate Hi Neighbor Day. If one were inclined to celebrate, or perhaps if one had a socialization problem.