She's Funny That Way, Questions 1-7

1.) Are you male or female?

'Cause I'm just a little girl you see
But there's a hell of a lot more to me

Amy Studt "Just A Little Girl"

2.) Who are you?
There are not lyrics in my collection that can sum up who I am. But, this Sister Hazel song captures my essence.

3.) Describe your neighborhood:

The old apartment
Forty-two stairs [actually steps] from the street

Barenaked Ladies "The Old Apartment"

4.) What do you like best about yourself?

I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose

Sarah McLachlan "Perfect Girl"

5.) How would your best friend describe you?

She talks in paragraphs
Rambling paragraphs
About her work on a Sunday

Scapegoat Wax "Bloodsweet"

6.) What makes you happy?

Just the bunny
the bunny
the bunny
oh i love the bunny
but now i feel real sick in the head from the bunny ;)

Veggie Tales "The New and Improved Bunny Song"

7.) What is love?

Multiply life by the power of two

Indigo Girls "Power of Two"

She's Funny That Way, Questions 8-15

8.) If you could say one thing to the love of your life, what would it be?

I waltzed around you
Seven times
Only to become
A melody you never sang
I'm not the one

Collective Soul "Not the One"

9.) What is the most romantic thing that could be said to you?

I will be your sword
And I will be your might
And I will watch over you like a satellite
Your river will flow thru scenes unknown
I'll guide you through by the love I show
And the stars will wish upon the night
That they could have your guiding satellite

Collective Soul "Satellite"

10.) Describe your ideal mate:

In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes

Peter Gabriel "In Your Eyes"

11.) Do you kiss on the first date?

I'm done messing
With every pair of lips in town
And I'm guessing
You kiss me right, I'll come around
I've had kisses make me blue
Give me flu, taste like glue
So kiss me quick and make it stick
And I will stick with you

Dave’s True Story "I Will Stick With You"

12.) What's your secret?

Although I've gotten most everything I wanted
Hope is still a flicker in the dark
Somewhere in the distance, a mysterious spark
If we never meet
That would be the saddest thing I know.
There's got to be somebody out there
Someone who burns like a flame
It's a beautiful night by the fountain
But I'm all alone
I don't know your name
This is to you, if you're out there
My love, you seem to be detained
I don't deserve you, but it's too cruel
That you're not here with me

Cherry Poppin Daddies "The Saddest Thing I Know"

13.) Are you strong?

Don't need to you make me strong
'Cause I'm strong on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know
Comes from inside my soul

Samantha Mumba "Tell Me I’m Pretty"

14.) What would you like to do that you have never done before?

O, I’ve never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping ball
And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall

And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk
And I’ve never gotten head lice
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

And I’ve never licked a spark plug
And I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug
And I’ve never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball

And I’ve never bathed in yogurt
And I don’t look good in leggings
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall!

Veggie Tales "The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything"

She's Funny That Way, Questions 15-19

15.) What do you think about your friends?

You've got a laugh that could bring me to tears
You've got compassion coming out of your ears
You've got a mind that's agile and bright

Dave’s True Story "Spasm"


16.) What is your life philosophy?

Armed with Trollope and a cup or two
I could while the day away
Now just a dollop
Makes me think of you
And that's too high a price to pay
I'll read Kafka's tale about that lonely vermin
I'll read every Jonathan Edwards sermon
Hell, I'll read Emmanuel Kant in German
But I'll never read Trollope again
I used to read him with a friend or two
I used to read him by myself
But to read him now only makes me blue
So I've tossed him from my shelf
I'll read Don Quixote five or six times through
I'll read Jackie Collins till my face turns blue
Hell, I'll even read Bukowski too
But I'll never read Trollope again

Dave’s True Story "I’ll Never Read Trollop Again"


17.) What is your secret wish?

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

The Smiths "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want"

18.) What do you think about drugs?

I've had enough of romantic love
I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up
For a miracle, miracle drug

U2 "Miracle Drug"


19.) If you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be?

Goodbye
I never want to see you again
Goodbye
I don't want to be your friend
So long
Now we've reached the end

Save Ferris "It Means Everything"



So, this is getting harder and harder. The songs that I love and want to include don't fit the questions and so I am having to look through the album notes of all my CDs to find songs that I usually skip over. I still haven't come close to answering question #2 which is "Who are you?" My favorite songs are really melancholy, and dark and I don't think that necessarily describes who I am. And I am afraid that if I use some of the really dark ones, which I love, someone might misinterpret them and think that I am on the edge or something... This is going to be a long process. Can we say wasted day off? Yep.

National "She's Funny That Way" Day March 31st

Because I have been admonished... and because Bunsen Burner Day doesn't really inspire much discourse, at least for me, I have been working on my answers to this questionnaire (the one I am answering has a few extra questions than this linked one) that has been floating my office for about two weeks. I started working on filling in some of my answers last week, but gave up on it, because it was taking too much time. And I am having major issues with the a couple of the personality-type questions. (Apparently, I don't know who I am... at 31 that could be a problem.) I started it again tonight, and I think I will publish this from the bottom up. It will look better, more sequential, on the blog that way anyway.

But, here are "The Rules." Take 26 fairly standard questions and answer them with music lyrics. It may take some time, (A freaking long time!) but it is always fun to find the perfect song lyrics to answer a question rather than using the word. (I, personally, added the caveat that I had to own the CD, (or tape) or have at one time owned the CD, so each song really means something to me.)

And here are the answers to questions 20-26.

20.) What do you do on Friday nights?

Watching X-Files with no lights on
We’re dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man’s in this one

Barenaked Ladies "One Week"

21.) What would you do if you won a million dollars?

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

Julie London "Fly Me to the Moon"

22.) What is your favorite time of day?

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.

Don McClean "Vincent"

23.) Are you for World Peace?

Show the world how to get along,
And peace will enter, when hate is gone

Fiona Apple "Please Send Me Someone to Love"


24.) Where were you born?
My house
S'out of the ordinary

Talking Heads "Burning Down the House"

25. What song can you quote that no-one else will recognize?

Girls,
I know you will understand this
and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion
You have just pulled over your head the worn,
warm sweater belonging to a boy
Now, you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything,
but you got to go on a camping trip with him
and eight other people from school
And you practically slept together,
your sleeping bag right next to his
And you woke in the night to watch him as he slept
but you couldn't see anything 'cause it was dark
so you just laid there and listened to his breathing
and wondered if your heart might burst

Cadell Meryn "The Sweater"


26.) Any closing words?

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

The Beautiful South "Dream a Little Dream"


So, I might work on the rest of it tomorrow... I might not. I'm just funny that way.

Last Week of March & the First Weekend in April

March 27th

• National "Joe" Day
• Education and Sharing Day
• Kite Flying Day
• Quirky Country Song Titles Day

March 28th

• Eat Something On A Stick Day
• American Diabetes Association Alert Day

March 29th

• Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
• Knights of Columbus Founders Day
• Mom and Pop Business Owners Day

March 30th

• I Am In Control Day
• Take a Walk in the Park Day
• Doctor's Day
• Mule Day

March 31st

• Bunsen Burner Day
• National "She's Funny That Way Day"
• Tater Day
• National Clams On The Half Shell Day

April 1

• April Fool's Day
• Boomer Bonus Day (?)
• National Fun Day
• One Cent Day
• Lupus Alert Day
• National Love Our Children Day
• Sorry Charlie Day
• Anti-circumcision Day (to link or not to link, that is the question) =)

April 2

• Check Your Smoke Detector and Flashlight Batteries Day
• International Children's Book Day
• National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
• Reconciliation Day

Pecan Day, Waffle Day, March 25th Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, March 26th

Pecan Day

Whether you say "pee-CAN" or "puh-CAHN" there's no denying that these little nuts are something special. For example: which nut tree is the only nut tree native to North America? Hmmm... That's right, Pecan Trees! Very special folks! The pecan is a uniquely American nut. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson are reported to have eaten the regularly. Also, the name "pecan" come from the Algonquin (a Native American tribe) language which translates to "all nuts requiring a stone to crack." Personally, I hate cracking nuts, and am very happy that I live in a day where nuts can be bought pre-cracked.

Fun Pecan Facts

• The Pecan tree is from the hickory family
  
• There are over 1,000 varieties of pecans
• Pecans are high in zinc, and zinc is a good thing
• According to this site pecans are also called Dilberts, but I can't find proof of that anywhere else
• The pecan is one of the healthiest nuts; 97% of it's oils are unsaturated (the good kind) and pecans don't contain cholesterol.
• Pecans are high in antioxidants (which is good)
• There are lots of varieties of pecan pie recipes (Yummy, yum yum!)

Waffle Day

Also, it's Waffle Day. I suggest Pecan Waffles. March 26th (That's right, tomorrow!): Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

You could share what you would do if you could impose a "National" holiday on the world, or you can just ponder for yourself... just know that tomorrow is the day that you can make at least your friends and family celebrate with you.

Rubin and Ed

If you enjoy bizarre and offbeat characters, cool movie quotes, ("Why don't you keep your hands off other people's refrigerators!" & "My cat can eat a whole watermelon." are my two favs) and if you want to watch a good movie with Mahler, clogs used as weapons, and people with dead cat obsessions, you need to get down to the Tower Theater tonight, at midnight to watch Rubin and Ed, or tomorrow night, at the same time.

Rubin and Ed functions as a quest story, a road movie, a buddy film, and a study in abnormal psychology all rolled into one. Rubin (Crispin Glover), traumatized over the death of his cat (which he keeps in a refrigerator), spends his days alone in his room squeaking a toy mouse in synch with a Mahler symphony. Ed (Howard Hesseman) is a ne'er-do-well involved with a motivational cult called the Power of Positive Real Estate who mindlessly listens to a tape recording of the cult mantra: "I am a powerful real estate professional moving higher and higher on the path to success." Rubin bamboozles Ed into accompanying him on a desert trek in order to find the metaphysically right place to bury his dead cat.

I consider this a one of the "must see" films from the 1990s, and it's really hard to find, so this might be the only chance that you get to view this classic cult piece.

My dear fellow-Oregonian friends who introduced me to this movie have scheduling conflicts, and I will not be watching it with them. (Darn skiing trips, and baby birthdays!) Searching for a new victim...

World Tuberculosis Day, March 24th

Two billion people in the world, one third of the world population, are infected with TB bacilli. Almost two million people die each year, and 5,000 people die each day from the disease.

If you look at this article prepared by the U.S. Department of State's Bureau of International Information Programs, (an organization designed to "support the State Department's initiatives," and influence "media, government officials, opinion leaders, and the general public in more than 140 countries around the world") you would think that Tuberculosis is just a problem outside of the United States, and mostly a disease closely associated with AIDS in Africa. When in reality, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Tuberculosis is a problem that is growing in the United States, right now.

"Starting in the 1940s, scientists discovered the first of several medicines that are now used to treat TB. As a result, TB slowly began to decrease in the United States. But in the 1970s and early 1980s, the country let its guard down and TB control efforts were neglected. As a result, between 1985 and 1992, the number of TB cases increased. However, with increased funding and attention to the TB problem, we have had a steady decline in the number of persons with TB since 1992. But TB is still a problem; more than 14,000 cases were reported in 2003 in the United States."

Now, I don't think that we should pay attention to this problem just because it is a health problem in the United States. I do think that one of the techniques of political rhetoric is to dehumanized an issue by making it seem far away... a problem with which you and I will probably never have to come face-to-face. That does not make it a non-problem.

Currently, Tuberculosis is more of a threat to human health than Bird Flu, and it is treatable. But, it is becoming less treatable. There are Multi-drug Resistant Strains of Tuberculosis, and these strains have been found in the United States.

World Tuberculosis Day probably won't make a huge difference in the fight against Tuberculosis, and some might argue that the money spent on advertising and promotion would be better used in treatment, but awareness is a major step in prevention, and prevention is better than treatment.

National Chips and Dip Day, March 23rd

"Wacky New Ways to Meet Someone"

"Wacky New Ways to Meet Someone" from Hotmail News: 1. At spelling bees One of the latest ideas for mingling and meeting a mate happens to be singles’ spelling bees, which have become quite a hit.

Ummm, no.

National Collision Awareness Month, National Bubble Blowers Week , National Goof Off Day, March 22nd

Things that I realized tonight while deciding what to blog...

National Collision Awareness Month

Sorry, Edgy I hope that I didn't jinx you with the power of suggestion.

March 19th-25th "National Bubble Blowers Week (I can't wait! It had better not snow! Although, that might be pretty too!)"

Sorry, I guess I the snow is my fault too.

National Goof Off Day

Maybe we all shouldn't goof off. I wouldn't want anyone to get into trouble because I suggested it here.

Absolutely no fun for me today! May all my fingers fall off, and my hair turn green if I have any fun today!

Children's Poetry Day, March 21st

So, I have been notified that I forgot to blog about Children's Poetry Day.

Children's Poetry can be good, or way too long and tedious for children, or (I am sure) bad, but I can't think of any bad examples off the top of my head...

I am sure that the internet will provide.

National Flower Day, Children's Poetry Day, March 21st

National Flower Day

Every state has a flower, from the yellow rose of Texas to the Wild Oregon Grape. Check out your State flower here. The national flower for the United States is the rose, specifically, the American Beauty. It did not become the National Flower until 1986, under President Regan. Check out the U.S. Code declaring roses the national flower here. That is if you are like me and like reading U.S. Code. :)

You can also check out the Wild Flower Folklore Website. If you want to find out what flower is effective for birth control, and which flower is "the wild flower of death."

If you want to tell someone message, but want to do it subtly, so subtle that the receiver is just simply happy that they received flowers, check out this site, The Language of Flowers. Now with this new knowledge, you can say "I have a message for you, Beware of a false friend" with just irises and francisca latifolia. Perfect. Now, all we need to do is find out what francisca latifolia is.

Act Happy Day, Proposal Day, Rotten Sneaker Day, March 20th

Act Happy Day

Sometimes, don't you just wish you had Dick Van Dyke hanging around, so at critical moments there would always be someone to sing:

If you're feeling cross and bitterish
Don't sit and whine
Think of banana split and licorice
And you'll feel fine

I'm not sure that just thinking about banana split and licorice will make me feel fine, but, there are some merits to acting happy in order to eventually be happy. Just as long as everyone around me doesn't expect this.

Proposal Day

What do you know... google the words "cheesy proposals" and a BYU Magazine is one of the results.

Me, I think that I am going to re-read Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal today. If you join me, remember that this is a satire, and I do not support the eating of babies, of any kind, including veal. Well, I guess I eat eggs. But, they are not quite babies.

Rotten Sneaker Day

Yeach. If you have them, you should throw them out today. If you don't have them, you should read Holes today in honor of Stanley Yelnats, not Stanley the onion-eater, but Stanley the inventor. But, if you don't feel like reading 240 pages of purely delightful prose today, you can watch the movie Holes, which is also quite delightful.

Things that I learned today...

1. I can fit 97 stars on a 4X4 square, but only 84 flowers.
2. I have lost any and all inspiration to create new formats for Annual Reports, after only 5 years of designing them.
3. Annual Reports should not be due at the same time as Annual Audits.
4. If I spread lots of paper over the top of my desk people will think that I am stressed out and that I work harder than they do, and will do nice things for me without me asking.
5. I don't feel stress out one bit.
6. I should feel extremely stressed out, because I have to send the Report to print on Monday, and as it is now... the colors don't match, and I hate the format.
7. Getting your lunch served late can be rewarding, but only if you aren't hungry, and you have good company to laugh with.
8. People who send email updates about grammar rules are inconsistent with their preposition policies.
9. I really should be working right now.
10. My boss can be very nice and undemanding when he thinks that he is overworking me.
11. What looks beige in my bedroom light, is stark-white in my office light.
12. I can sit and make up lists all day, just to avoid editing and designing.
13. I believe that I will find inspiration over the weekend, and it will all fall into place... just like the play on Shakespeare in Love.
14. Updating websites for work, aren't nearly as fun as blogging.
15. I am going to have to work over the weekend.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Hope That You Are Wearing Green!

The St. Patrick's Day My Friends Wonder If I Should Get A Cat

 

St. Urho's Day, Lips Appreciation Day, Everything You Do Is Right Day, March 16th

St. Urho's Day

What is St. Urho's Day? It's a Finnish-American celebration, began in Minnesota, attributed to Minnesotans Richard L. Mattson and Sulo Havumaki. The first documented celebration was in 1956.

Legend has it (according to Mattson and Havumaki), that St. Urho saved the Finnish wine-grape harvest from an unusually large plague of locusts. St. Urho, whose name is (surprise) translated as "hero," raised his staff and yelled in a Valkerian voice (okay, I'm making that part up... Valkerian is feminine) the phrase, "Heinasirkka, heinasirkka, menetaalta hiiten" (which in English means "Grasshopper grasshopper get the hell out!") which once and for all got rid of all the grasshoppers in Finland, and saved the grape harvest.

Some people, who don't like to have fun, poo-poo the existence of St. Urho. They point out that there is no Finnish wine-grape crop, and that the country is still occupied by grasshoppers. Also, the legend is quite similar to the legend of St. Patrick- you know, driving the snakes out of Ireland and stuff. (But, Ireland never had snakes, so there isn't that much to complain about.)

Still, not to be outdone by their Irish-American counterparts, Finnish-Americans celebrate Urho's feast by wearing green and purple (the colors of the grape vine) and drinking grape juice, and wine, and purple colored beer (they were just jealous of the green beer), and planting donut seeds (Cheerios). Others re-enact the Urho Day miracle by shouting his famous command to every insect they see, (because March isn't the season for grasshoppers) while some areas of the US, with large Finnish populations, celebrate with pitchforks races running down hills and chainsaws competitions cutting down giant wooden grasshoppers. Fun!

Lips Appreciation Day



Get out the lipstick, lip gloss, chapstick, or whatever you use to make those lips more appealing... it's almost here! The day that it is okay to kiss perfect strangers, just because you might be 1/1024th Irish. Or, if you only have Irish eyes, people should just kiss you anyway. Because kissing is so much nicer than that pinching thing.

Everything You Do Is Right Day

Considering that yesterday was Everything You Think Is Wrong Day, this is a nice follow up. I wish it came with a guarantee.

If you want to check out some other websites that have the St. Urho legand (because you think that I might be slightly off) try here or here or here or here or here

The Ides of March, Brutus Day, True Confessions Day, Buzzard's Day, Everything You Think Is Wrong Day, Dumbstruck Day, March 15th

The Ides of March

The Ides of March, as a date, was not meant be remembered for always and forever synonymously with death. But when Shakespeare penned the lines: "Beware the Ides of March!" The words became mythic in our literary memory. (We love you Shakespeare!)

To put this in perspective, if something very bad happened to you at work on the first Monday in April. Then if Dave Barry picked up the story, and wrote about it and in his writing process decided that the very bad thing wasn't foreboding enough, so in his embellishment wrote that before the horrible thing happened you walked down the street and a fortune teller popped out at you and said "Beware the first Monday in April!" And he also said the people near and dear to you started having bad dreams about the first Monday in April. But, you went to work anyway! Wow, we all would be Bewaring the First Monday in April now because of Dave Barry.

Now, I want to spit in the eye of my sophomore English teacher who was a bad English teacher, who had a crush on Paul Newman, and was the only teacher in my entire scholastic career to send me to the principal's office. (But, that's not why I want to spit in her eye.) I want to spit in her eye (today) because she told the class incorrectly that Ides meant middle.

Ha! Ides doesn't mean middle. To understand what the Ides of March is, we will need a little history lesson. And, afterwards we will be eternally grateful that we do not go by the Roman calendar anymore.

The Roman calendar organized its months around three days, each of which served as a reference point for counting the other days:
* Kalends [which means "to proclaim"](1st day of the month)
* Nones ["Nones" (nine) was intended to express the inclusive number of elapsed days between first quarter and full moons](the 7th day in March, May, July, and October; the 5th in the other months)
* Ides [which means "divider" from the Etruscan verb "iduare" meaning "to divide"](the 15th day in March, May, July, and October; the 13th in the other months)

The remaining, unnamed days of the month were identified by counting backwards from the Kalends, Nones, or the Ides. For example, March 3 would be V Nones —5 days before the Nones (the Roman method of counting days was inclusive; in other words, the Nones would be counted as one of the 5 days).

Days in March: March 1: Kalends; March 2: VI Nones; March 3: V Nones; March 4: IV Nones; March 5: III Nones; March 6: Pridie Nones (Latin for "on the day before"); March 7: Nones; March 15: Ides (Infoplease.com)

Anyway, back to the story according to Shakespeare, Julius Caeser minimized the importance of the soothsayers warning about the Ides of March, and his wife's foreboding dreams. And then he went to work because another man called him a chicken for even considering listening to his wife. (What a surprise, a man that didn't listen to women, and succums to machismo.) So he died. He is dead. No more Caesar. Killed by his friends and co-workers. His final words: Et Tu Brute? (I think, I'm too tired now to to look it up. I told Edgy that I was going to bed three hours ago. But Master Fob distracted me with his Gizoogle post. So, if you want to read my blog and have it read as if you are watching a Flavor of Love Episode, read it here. ) (Sorry, but if the phrase M****f****** offends you, don't read it.)

There are some other celebrations today, and we can creatively connect them to the Ides of March

Brutus Day
True Confessions Day
Buzzard's Day
Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
Dumbstruck Day

It's coming...