It was a dark and stormy night...

... and the power has been out for about an hour. I think I have about ten minutes of battery left on Mr. Laptop, because it seems that Mr. Laptop did not feel like charging while I was at work today. Ten minutes of being connected with the outside world, and then... POOF no more contact. I will have to sit in my dark apartment and listen to the storm by candlelight. So weird, to live life with out the preknowledge that severe weather updates brings. I will just have to live in the storm, without knowing what the storm is going to do. It seems so weird.

So I have lighted my candles, and pulled out some book options, because the storm is getting stonger, and I have no chance of sleeping soon, I am too excited about the thunder and lightening. Reading by candlelight in a thunderstorm... so exciting. :) Happiness is me!

Book Options

1. A Wrinkle in Time - Because it begins with the line "It was a dark and stormy night."

2. The Lord of the Rings- Because there are lots of darkness and weather involved

3. Frankenstein- Mary Shelley writing in the dark night about dark storms that aren't really storms. I don't want to think that much tonight.

4. Faust- Goethe of course, eh, not.

5. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow- dark, dark, dark, and spooky but not scary spooky.

6. Anything by Shirley Jackson- well not tonight, I am alone, and I don't want to make myself any more unstable

I think that tonight is a Lord of the Rings night, and I must start in the middle where it is already dark. No Hobbiton for me. Only the battles of Helms Deep. Yes, the thunder will be a perfect backdrop.

Well, everyone, I wish you all nights with as much atmosphere as I have now. Tee Hee!

And all power off!

Donald Duck Day, June 9th

Donald Duck Day

Donald Duck first graced the world with his presence in Disney's Silly Symphony "The Wise Little Hen" on June 9, 1934. So, one could say, today is his birthday. Although it could be argued that it is not, because he was obviously an adult on his birth day, even if he was a scary adult because he wasn't wearing pants. (There once was an urban legend that Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants and he hangs out with a single woman. Shocking what hanging out with a single woman will do to your reputation! Check that out here.) Disney officially recognizes Donald's birthday as June 9th, but there seems to be come confusion about this because in "The Three Caballeros," his birthday is Friday the Thirteenth and in "Donald's Happy Birthday" his birthday is March 13th.

Donald's full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck, (poor thing, no wonder he has such a temper) according to the cartoon "Donald Gets Drafted." He is the son of Uncle Scrooge's older sister Hortense and her husband, Quackmore. His sister, Della, is the mother of his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie. Daisy is his girlfriend, and she has nieces April, May and June. If you want to check out more of his relatives, there are several pedigree charts for Donald on this site.

Donald Duck was the face of the University of Oregon Fighting Ducks for many years, until there were issues about copyrights, royalties and such things, after Walt Disney died. That is how I remember Donald most, as the Fighting Duck that I cheered for when I rooted against the Beavers of Oregon State University. (Yes, I know, we don't choose fierce mascots up in the wet state.) But, now U of O just has a big O and no Donald. Sadness.

Anyway, happy birthday Donald!

National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, Daniel Boone Day, Freedom of the Press Day, June 7th

Caution: This Post Was Posted Under the Influence of Fatiguey Sleepyness

National Chocolate Ice Cream Day

According to this website Chocolate ice cream is the second most preferred ice cream.

Here are the top five most preferred ice cream flavors:

1. Vanilla, 29%

2. Chocolate, 8.9%

3. Butter pecan, 5.3%

4. Strawberry, 5.3%

5. Neapolitan, 4.2%

I Disagree with a big D. The only reason vanilla is number one is because people eat it with pie, and other a'la mode desserts. I bet if we could do a study of what type of ice cream cones are sold, chocolate would be way up there above vanilla. Because really, who orders a vanilla cone? And I am talking hard ice cream here, not soft, or frozen yogurt, or custard.

So let us celebrate Chocolate Ice Cream today! Go get a cone, let it drip down your fingers, bury your lips into it. Celebrate chocolate ice cream like a child!

Daniel Boone Day

If you didn't learn about Daniel Boone in your grammar school days, now is your chance to take some time to learn about Daniel Boone, American Pioneer and Trailblazer, who said "I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks." Absent will admit to being confused for several years, but that's another story, and not quite American Heroic. Anyway, check out Mr. Boone here.

Freedom of the Press Day

Absent believes in freedom of the press. However, Absent believes that with freedom comes responsibility and too often members of the press will slant stories, or tell incomplete truths in order to write a story with a "spin." Absent finds this to be smallminded, and lazy. Absent thinks that members of the press should remember responsibility when they are enjoying their freedoms. Responsibilities to tell the whole story, responsibilities to interview more than the most vocal voices in an issue. Sometimes, most times, truth lies in those who choose not to speak openly, and falsehood lies in those who are addicted to listening to themselves speak, and as with all addictions they push their deadly-word-drugs on anyone in shouting distance. When reporters abuse their power, they spread the mis-information they have gathered from their lack of true research, which is bad. There, I said it, one of my biggest pet peeves is poor reporting.

Answer to Edgy's Question

I would be quite surprised to find out that Gee Dub is the anti-Christ, the one to trigger the end of the world. I don't think he is bright enough (see above) to usher in world events at that level. He is just a empty headed minion.

All in all, if the world ends tomorrow, I will be a bit sad, and a bit surprised.

End of the World?

According to an online betting site, odds are 10-1 that the world is going to end tomorrow.

Leave the Office Early Day, June 2nd

Leave the Office Early Day

Two things that are really hard for me to do: leave the office when there is work to do, and going to bed on time. I blame my parents for both of these faults. Because I was the oldest child, the called me the "experimental child." One of the things that they experimented with was sending me to bed before I was tired. Way before I was tired, just to have me go to bed at a convienent time for them. I responded by dancing in my room, acting out scenes from Star Wars and Star Trek, (I don't have sisters, just brothers, my movie choices were limited) and making up my own stories for them and running to turn off my bedroom light whenever I heard my parents walking down the hallway.

When I learned to read books with chapters, I told my parents that I was afraid of the dark so that I could have two nightlights so I could read by them. When they figured that out, I had my brother jimmy a light-up yo-yo into a lighting tool for me to read under my covers.

Finally, in junior high my parents realized the nightly bedtime struggle wasn't worth it, so they gave me the rule that as long as I stayed on Honor Roll, I could choose my own bedtime. WOW. That was freedom for a 12 year old. I could stay up to midnight if I wanted, but I also knew that to stay on honor roll I had to be awake at and ontime to classes. My staying up late became homework, and extra credit, and more reading, no more dancing and acting out sci-fi television in my darkened room. Homework was fun, because it helped justify my staying up late.

Yes, I am weird. I am trying to understand myself why I am up an hour past my self-set-because-I-love-sleep-bedtime, blogging, especially when I have to go to work tomorrow, and normally it would be a day off. Yes, I am going to work on a day that I am not supposed to work. I suck. Especially since it is Leave the Office Early Day

There is this article about Capping the Workday at Eight Hours. It gives reasons how and why we should do it, with lots of statistics and stuff.

This CNN article talks about a Microsoft Study that shows that we are only productive three working days a week.

I just want to know why I have had a boring week this week, after a crazy insane month, and then this morning while I took some time off to attend a funeral, all hell broke out again, and to fix it I have to work on my day off. Again. I could say no... but then I wouldn't be on honor roll. I have to be the teacher's pet or I will not feel good about myself, and I won't be able to allow myself to stay up late and play later.

Exactly when will I be free from parental influences?

I am too tired to be blogging. I know that this is going to end up like the snail blog.

Someone just tell me to go to bed... and to Leave the Office Early.

Dare Day, June 1st

Dare Day

Remember late night Truth or Dare sessions, where you would always take the dare question because you knew that there wasn't anything interesting enough in your past, or anything that you wanted to share with a group of non-intimate friends for the truth question? Yep, I took lots of dare questions. I'm not really a-scared of dares.

So, I am daring all of you all to share your favorite dare story, or your most recent dare story, or any old dare story that you want to share. What are you chicken? I double dog dare you. I triple dog dare you...

So, two weekends ago I had my first public food-related dare, (at least since my roommates my freshman year dared me to ask a cute boy for a piece of licorice, but that is a different story with a very different ending.) Some friends suggested that we celebrate Octoberfest in May, sort of a Mocktoberfest. We had planned to go to Octoberfest in October, but for some reason that I can't remember we didn't go, and for some reason I think it was my fault.

Anyway, to celebrate Mocktoberfest we went to a German restaurant in Sandy for some excellent German food. (And I can't remember the name of it but it is just off of State Street and 7200 South.) One of the appetizers that we ordered contained whole garlic bulbs that had been roasted in olive oil. The individual cloves of garlic were tender and kinda sweet, and we spread them on toasted bread and it was yummy. And then the bread was all gone. And we still had two and a half bulbs of garlic. So we started to spread the garlic on the french fries. And then they were gone too. And we still had two half bulbs of garlic.

The boy across the table from me, who either noticed that I am a girl who enjoys my garlic or who was just bored and was trying to make conversation with the girl across the table from him, dared me to eat the rest of the bulb... whole. I was quite surprised, because really, food dares are the realm of teenage boys, not ancient thirty-one-year-old maids. He offered a quarter. I accepted. I hadn't planned on kissing anyone that night, I was getting a quarter, I would probably never have an opportunity to accept a food dare again. What could it hurt?

Well, we won't go into the gallons of toothpaste also eaten that night.

Today is one of LL's Name Days. LL has a lot of name days, but this one is kinda cool because it is the day before her birthday, and who doesn't want a reason to celebrate for a two day stretch! Vsšechno nejlepsa­ LL!

The Weeks of June

June 1st-7th

International Volunteer's Week; Stepparent's Week;

June 4th-10th

National Headache Awareness Week; Black Single Parent's Week; Superman Week;

June 9th-11th

Take a Kid Fishing Weekend; Youth Cowboy Poetry Weekend

June 11th-17th

Email Week; National Automotive Service Professional's Week; National Flag Week; National Families in Business Week; Meet a Mate Week; National Little League Baseball Week;

June 18th-24th

Appreciate Your Plumber, & Heating & Cooling Professional's Week; Carpenter Ant Awareness Week; Universal Father's Week;

June 25th-July 2nd

Fish Are Friends Not Food Week; National Prevention of Eye Injuries Week;

June Is... Month

June is the sixth month of the year. The month is named for the Roman goddess Juno the wife of Jupiter (also known as Hera to the Greek mythologist) Her original name to the Romans was Junonius. Among her attributes, she is queen of heaven, approximating Frigg in Norse Mythology. She is ruler of the high point of year, when there is maximum light and minimum darkness (in the Northern Hemisphere). On about June 21, the northern Summer Solstice (Midsummer) will occur.

The Saxons also called it Seremonath (dry-month). In Finnish the month is called Kesaakuu, meaning "month of summer". The old Dutch name was Zomer-maand (summer-month); in the French Revolutionary calendar the month was called Prairial (meadow month, May 20 to June 18). The Irish used to call this month meitheamh, and the Pre-Revolutionary French called it Brachmanoth, meaning ‘break month’. Some American Indians name it the Hot or Strawberry Moon.

June is ‘the door of the year’ in goddess mythology where midsummer is an extremely important holiday. Unmarried girls who sleep with wild flowers under their pillow on midsummer's eve will dream of the man they will marry. (Have I done this every year for the past eight years? Yep. Am I going to tell my results. Nope.)

European folklore tells us that: good weather in ‘Flaming June’ is required if there is to be a good harvest; bats flying on a June evening are a sign of hot, dry weather, and if swallows fly near the ground in June it’s a sign of coming rain.

In the south-west of England, there is an old pagan custom of throwing flowers into a stream at this time of year for good luck. If you are near a stream and have flowers to throw, what can it hurt?

Yeah! For long days and starry nights, and meteor showers, and crickets. Rose scented nights. Sigh. I am not in love, I'm not. I'm in love with the memories of past Junes.

So, if you are looking for other ways to get through June, (other than my pagenesque ideas here) here are some ideas... Adopt A Shelter Cat Month (please let me, Rex cats are supposedly somewhat hypoallergenic ); Gay and Lesbian Pride Month; Cancer from the Sun Month; Celibacy Awareness Month; Child Vision Awareness Month; Child Awareness Month; Dairy Alternative Month; Effective Communication Month; "Do It Yourself" Marketing Month; Fireworks Safety Month; International Accordian Awareness Month;International Men's Month; Lane Courtesy Month; Turkey Lover's Month; National Candy Month; National Ice Tea Month; National River Month; National Rose Month; National Safety Month; National Soul Food Month; National Steakhouse Month; Potty Training Awareness Month; Rebuild Your Life Month; National Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month; National Paypaya Month; National Pest Control Month; Fight The Filthy Fly Month; National Flag Month; National "Drive Safe" Month (Maybe if we celebrate Lane Courtesy, we will drive safely, and maybe "ly" won't disappear from the language); Zoo and Aquarium Month

National Macaroon Day, May 31st

National Macaroon Day

Unfortunately for Edgy, the last day of the Month O' Edgy is National Macaroon Day.

Mmm. Macaroons.

My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day, Water a Flower Day, May 30th

My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day

When I was a little girl, and I was the favorite granddaughter, (because I was the only granddaughter until I was 12 years old) I used to go on road trips with my grandpa and his wife. Often, he would start to sing a song, like "There Is A Hole in the Bottom of the Sea" or "Froggie Went A Courtin'" or "There's a Hole in the Bucket". I adored it when he sang, but his wife would always stop him before he reached the end of the song. Because of her interference, I had no idea that these songs were as long as they are. Kinda cool to look and see that there are a kagillion verses.

Anyway, that's just what I thought of first when I saw that today is My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day. But, after further investigation this day has its own song: My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day. My guess is that it is a country song because the singer is "waiting for a woman" and "can't buy no beer."

Water a Flower Day

And when is it easier to water a flower than when you have a hole in your bucket?

Memorial Day, May 29th

Memorial Day 2006

I had decided not to post about Memorial Day, because all of my attempts were coming out a bit anti-war, which I felt was not the best way to honor those who have given their lives for and served this country. According to this site we have lost 1,264,826 Americans in war up to the Persian Gulf War. Since the War on Terror, we have lost 2,708 more casualties, according to the Washington Post.

To me, Memorial Day is more than a much needed day off, (55 hours is too much work in one week for Ms. Absent, so please forgive any lack of finesse with this post, I'm still recovering) Memorial Day is a time to ponder about the freedoms that have been won and the lives lost in the fight for the "self-evident rights ...that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. " (Declaration of Independence) I believe that this nation was founded on something good, I believe that we will continue to be good as long as we hold ourselves and our leaders to those ideals.

"How To" Tip for the Day, May 27th

How To Confuse the People You Play Football With

Step 1

The football is thrown to you, while you are playing catch, and you throw it back with a perfect spiral with your right hand.

Step 2

The football is handed off to you during the "game" and as part of a flea-flicker pass you throw it to the quarterback with your left hand.

Step 3

The next time you get the ball you will be completely confused about which hand is supposed to throw it, so confused you get sacked, but you can walk it off by saying that you lost the ball in the low cloud cover.

People might not believe you, but, really, it's less embarrassing and takes less time to explain than "I had to stop to think about which hand to use."

(Left-handed people aren't usually this handedly challenged, it's uniquely me, and I place all the blame on my first-grade teacher who taught me that "right is the hand you write with.")

Also, I declare it to be French Toast Weekend. At this site you can find over 100 recipes for french toast: Carmel Pecan French Toast, Creme Brulee French Toast, 12 different recipes for Stuffed French Toast. Umm, ummm, umm, Yum!

Not Forgetting That It Is the Month O' Edgy

If you are looking for a way to continue the celebration of Month O' Edgy listen to this broadcast of The 9 Beet Stretch. The 9 Beet Stretch is a recording of Ludwig van Beethoven's ninth symphony stretched to 24 hours. This has been streaming continuously on the internet since the Day O' Edgy 2005. Apparently, the Day O' Edgy is the anniversary of the premeire of Beethoven's 9th Symphony in Vienna in 1824.

Take a moment and ponder the weirdness, but don't listen too long, Edgy has not endorsed this form of celebration for Month O' Edgy. But, maybe he will be happy that my 200th post is about him.

National Tap Dance Day, May 25th

I wish that I was really cultured and could tell you about the finer points of tap dancing. The truth of the matter is, I don't really get tap dancing. I think that people who can move their feet that quickly and in a set rhythm are very talented, and should be admired. But, I would never really attend a tap dance concert, for two reasons: one, I doubt that I would ever have a hankering to see tap dance that much, and two, I am pretty sure that I would leave with a headache. Why inflict oneself with a headache? Tap dance is too happy. As I have said before, I prefer my dance performances to be dark, edgy, melancholy, and full of angst, and maybe that is a character flaw, but it's not in the top five of my character flaws, so it probably isn't going to get changed in the next year... or probably ever.

But, to celebrate today, I need to get over myself and ponder the wonders of penguins tap dancing.

Right Now, It's Happening Right Now

There is a major network filming in Provo, RIGHT NOW. And only one newspaper cared enough about a story with a postive spin to report on it.

The Salt Lake Tribune

HGTV in Provo to film work on Maeser School

PROVO - The Maeser School is in the spotlight again, but this time it has nothing to do with an old handwritten deed. Crews from cable home-and-garden giant HGTV will be at the historic school site today and Thursday to film restoration work on the building. It will be presented during a future public-service announcement. HGTV's Restore America initiative also is dishing out $50,000 to the Provo Housing Authority to assist the school's conversion into a low-income apartment complex for seniors. "It's a total delight and pleasure," said Doug Carlson, Provo Housing Authority director. "We were selected in a highly competitive grant-application process." Built in 1898, Maeser School is one of only 12 sites chosen for HGTV's Restore America initiative. Carlson said more than 100 applications were made for the grant. The historic Provo grade school recently made headlines when an old deed surfaced that threatens to put a hiccup in plans for the site. The deed maintains that an acre on the site must be kept as a child's playground - or be returned to the heir. Officials and attorneys still are sorting out what role the deed will play. - Todd Hollingshead

When Extreme Makeover Home Edition came to Bountiful, Utah, it was all over the news. That just helped one family. According to the Provo City Housing Authority's website, this project helps 31 low-income seniors, and 12 moderate-income families. I bet if Ty came, there would be cameras and reporters all over the place.

Escargot Day, May 24th

"Mon dessin ne representait pas un chapeau. Il representait un serpent boa qui digerait un elephant." (Antoine de Saint Exupery)

I can't believe that it is only Tuesday night. Theoretically, I have already worked enough time this week for it to be early Thursday morning. And it has been the worst kind of work. The kind where I have to wait around for people to ask me to do things. I hate that. I hate it because it can be so stressfully unproductive. When 4pm rolls around and I haven't taken a lunch (for the second day in a row) and I start wishing that I would have known at 10am (when I had a two hour stretch without anything to do) that I would have had the time then to eat, so I could have taken an early lunch... Well, I think it's just wrong to wish that I could go back in time six hours so I can eat by myself, in my car, with the radio playing loudly, to drown out the endless sound of office that is now permanently ringing in my ears.

At times like this I wish I was a snail. Not a snail farm snail, mind you, just a harmless little spineless garden snail with a simple mind and my house on my back. No worries. As it turns out, snails are quite developed little creatures. They even have discriminate tastes. I think that I could like the life of a snail. I wouldn't have to worry about turning 35 without having reproduced if I were a snail. If I were a snail, I might have as many as 300,000 babies by now. Imagine, 300,000 little absent-minded snails wandering around the world. If I had 300,000 babies, I wouldn't have to worry about "and guest" invitations.

Stupid snails.

I guess the French have it right. We should eat snails, (stupid creatures that don't have to worry about social norms) and in mass quantities. We should eat so many snails that we look like we have swallowed elephants. Mucho, mucho snails. Here are some recipies... you can make your own.

Happy Escargot Day!

Lucky Penny Day, May 23rd

It's Lucky Penny Day! Lucky is the person who watches their pennies well. Some people believe that there is only a specific amount of luck in the universe. This luck is transferred from people who are careless to people who are careful. Those who drop their pennies, are of the careless sort, therefore with their dropped pennies, they loose their luck. The person who picks up the pennies, finds the luck.

Of course, this theory could just be a keen observation of how different personalities react to the world around them. Someone, who is not careful with their pennies might also be a bit careless in other aspects of their life, and it might seem that they always have a bit of bad luck hanging about them. Someone who is careful with things, even as small as pennies, pays attention to many details, and can juggle the complicated things that life throws at them, and it may seem that they are more "lucky."

Check out this site to learn about pennies that you can trade in for thousands of dollars. It will have you looking through your change bowl. Then check out this article to see the three rare pennies that are in circulation since April this year.

If you want to have some easy chemistry class type fun with your pennies check out this site. It will teach you how to shine them up, or verdigris them, or copper plate your nails. Not your fingernails, by the way.

So, as you go out to look for your lucky penny today, remember, "found pennies come from heaven".

Reading is Fun Week: Funny Friday, May 19th

On Funny Friday, of Reading is Fun Week, the Reading is Fundamental people recommend that we make our own comic book characters.

I am not going to participate in this. I think that all the good comic book characters have already been drawn. (See the Cinematical Seven: X-Meta: An Outsider's Guide to Symbolism in Superhero Cinema)

I guess I could just be feeling a little bit insecure about my artistic ability, or complete lack thereof. Once when I was a teenager, a retired high school art teacher sat me down with an oil set and a canvas. She said that she was positive that I was a budding artist, that I must be overflowing with raw, untrained artistic ability, because I was so musical, and um, I can't remember the other reasons why she thought I would be artistic. (The truth is, my musical talents are not what most would call talents. My musical ability is just basic ability born of mild interest, and a desire not to hurt my piano teacher's feelings by quitting. Anyway, Edgy is a much better piano player than I am, and the only place that I will sing a solo is in my car, with the windows rolled up and the radio playing louder than I am singing, so no-one will have to accidentally hear my voice.) Regardless, it seems silly to believe that someone is artistic based on minimal musical ability.

Yeah, well, after one afternoon with a paint brush, she never asked me back. It scarred me for life. I still feel like I failed her for some reason. Like it was my fault that there wasn't some artistic talent hidden deep down inside of me just waiting for her to temper and harness it into this writhing pulse of creative dexterity.

If I never try to draw a comic book character, I will never fail at it.

Well, today marks the middle of Calveras County Fair and Frog Jumping Jubilee, a tradition started by Mark Twain with his short story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County. Maybe, to celebrate Funny Friday I need to go buy a frog.

Reading is Fun Week: Thrilling Thursday, May 18th

As we continue to celebrate Reading is Fun Week, we must acknowledge "Thrilling Thursday." If you are like me, too many nights have been spent as the hours wax and wane reading "just one more chapter," or "just until this plot line is resolved." As I have entered the working world, I have found myself disadvantaged in relation to my fellow coworkers who do not come into work with dark circles under their eyes, and hair in a ponytail from trying to get the last chapter finished before showering and doing the minimally necessary requirements to be socially presentable for employment. Yes, as I have stated before, I am a nerd. Some people attend work with hangovers from partying too much; other people have reading hangovers.

According to the Reading is Fundamental people, we should play the game "Meet Me at the Library" on "Thrilling Thursday. I however would like to introduce you to my most favorite thrillers that you will find if you meet me in my library.

Barbara G. Mertz, PhD aka Barbara Michaels & Elizabeth Peters

This is my favorite author to pick up when I want to read and not have to worry about what I am reading. I know that I won't be grossed out by anything overly violent, and I will not have to concentrate too much on character development, because most of her characters are strong independent women, or not-so-strong-women who discover strength by the end of the novel. Yeah, she is mystery-chick-lit, and I am ashamed of myself for promoting non-literature, but this women has set herself apart by writing mysteries with fun setting and good back story which contained a large dollop of romantic comedy.

Barbara, (I'm just going to call her Barbara. I've been reading for years. We're tight.) has a PhD in Egyptology, and it shows through in her writing. When she doesn't write about Egypt, her topics are well researched, and interesting to read just for the quick-fic-info. Her mysteries that are set in Egypt are always chock full of history, social issues, archeology, and other fun knowledge-o-ramma.

In her words the reasons for writing under three names are under the recommendation of her editorial staff, and thus:

The ostensible reason for using pseudonyms is that readers need to distinguish the various types of books written by a single author; Mertz writes nonfiction on archaeology, Michaels writes thrillers, many with a supernatural element, and Peters focuses on mystery suspense. I find the various names a horrible nuisance, but apparently readers do see a difference between the productions of these personae. (Barbara Mertz, also known as Elizabeth Peters and Barbara Michaels, in her own words)

My favorite "Barbara Michaels" book is Houses of Stone, and my favorite "Elizabeth Peters" book is The Camelot Caper. My favorite series that Barbara has written is the Vicky Bliss series, of five books. I would not recommend getting on the Amelia Peabody runaway train. That is a series that just needs to stop. I stopped reading at book ten of the nineteen book series. No woman, no family, needs their lives documented in that much detail. Everyone starts doing the same things, the characters cannot act beyond their cliches when there are ten or so books of set patterns of behavior behind them. It's just wrong.

My other "thriller" reading recommendation is the Trixie Belden series. These were the books that I read over and over from age 10 to age... okay I still occasionally pick one up. Trixie Belden is a teen girl sleuth, much like Nancy Drew, or Veronica Mars. (I actually don't know anything about Veronica Mars, I just have been told by lots of people that I would really like the show and that I should watch it, so someday I will, this is just a nod to them.) Only, Trixie Belden solves her mysteries in jeans and tennis shoes, not pumps and a pencil skirt, Trixie does not drive a car, she has to get rides from her mom or in her brother's jalopy, and she babysits. I identified with her as a teenager. Also, she has blond curly hair, and I wanted that... still want that.

And now I feel like I need to redeem myself by provide other reading recommendations from Absent's library that are not formulaic and predictable, because I am neurotic enough to worry that some reader might disengage themselves after realizing that I enjoy pulp fiction. (Please don't go!)

Nonfiction

We, Robert A. Johnson
The Frog Prince, Stephen Mitchell
Answer to Job, C.G. Jung
The Heart Is a Little to the Left, Essays on Public Morality, William Sloan Coffin
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, Lois P. Frankel
Eats Shoots and Leaves, Lynne Truss
The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell
Parallel Myths, J.F. Bierlein

Fiction

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson
Metamorphoses, Ovid
The Once and Future King, T.H. White
Just So Stories, Rudyard Kipling
Till We Have Faces, C.S. Lewis
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Blue Castle, L.M. Montgomery
A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L'Engle
The Giver, Lois Lowry
Summerland, Michael Chabon
The Rose Daughter, Robin McKinley
Holes, Louis Sachar
A Long Way from Chicago, Richard Peck
A Year Down Yonder, Richard Peck
Stargirl, Spinelli
Freak the Mighty, Rodman Philbrick
Frindle, Andrew Clements

And of course, the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Mary Stewart's Arthurian Saga.