Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
Every year my grandma wants a Christmas list from each of her grandchildren. If we don't provide one for her we are considered "bad grandchildren" because we will be causing her stress and frustration during what could have been an easy list-oriented shopping trip.
Last year I was the golden grandchild for a happy week because I was the first to provide a complete list, of mostly books, which meant that she would only have to go to one store, and she could get discount points from that store. But, then, there were problems. My books were not regular-on-the-shelf-books, so I quickly became the not-golden grandchild.
This year, I have had a really hard time coming up with a list for her. I thought it might be easy, because I do have an Amazon wish list, but Grandma doesn't do Amazon. This is where a great deal of the problems came from last year; I wanted books that I found on Amazon, that aren't regular bookstore shelf books. My parents aren't Amazon people either, and therefore, weren't much help for Grandma, so I have just realized that I have no reason to keep an Amazon wish list, except for me to have a list of random things for me to remember to maybe buy for myself someday.
Anyway, this year I felt guilty for even providing a list, even though Grandma asked for one, because this year she is helping me with my Multiple Sclerosis treatment costs. That is such significant help that I really don't feel that I deserve an additional Christmas present on top of that. But, since she said she still wants a list, I sat and thought about what I want for Christmas.
Well, my ideal Christmas list would include: the ability to have no more side effects to the Rebif. Specifically, no more morning sickness-type-smell-stomach-issues. No more nausea at the smell of celery, broccoli, cabbage, lettuce, avocados, and spinach. No more dark circles under my eyes, and no more people asking me if I had a bad night, every day. No more dead in my tracks fatigue. No more achy in my every joint. No more forgetfulness. No more uncontrollable crying when children sing Christmas carols. No more hiding in my apartment because I can't eat anything normal and because I need at least ten to twelve hours of sleep almost every night and did I mention that I still have dark circles under my eyes and I would like those to go away before Christmas? Yeah. That would just about cover everything that I really want for Christmas. (Except for maybe a phone call from Edgy ne' Christian. That would be nice too.)
Unfortunately, Grandma can't do anything about any of that. Yes, so the last three days I have been trying to come up with things to put on a list for Grandma. And tonight, I did give her a spotty list. But, I feel stressed about that list. None of the books are books that I am dying to read. All of the kitchen things are things that I could live without. I feel like a spoiled selfish little brat, especially since this post is about family stress, and really if this is the only family stress that I have to deal with, I recognize that I'm pretty damn lucky.
We can chat about my mother later.
