Cellphonaphobia

As Christmas Day approaches, I find myself in mortal terror for my cell phone. Not of my cell phone, mind you, for my cell phone. You see, for the last two years, on Christmas Day, I have in one way or another killed my cell phone.

It will be really sad if I lose another phone this year. Very sad because I haven't made any preparations for being out of communication for a month or so... again. But, since these type of things usually occur in threes, I just have a bad feeling.

Ode to a cell phone, with many apologies to William Carlos Williams

So much depends
upon

a gray cell
phone

missing without charged
battery

hidden from sight.
Dead.

I'm so lame...

I lost my cell phone again.

My Christmas Trip to Oregon in Photos

Because I know that you all wanted to come with me to Oregon for Christmas, so I am going to share my experience in photos.

After sleeping only on the short plane trip from Salt Lake City to Portland, because I left all my packing until the last minute, as well as the last minute shopping, and the last minute apartment cleaning, I stepped out of the Portland airport to rain. Which was fine. I like rain. I miss rain.

Our family's Christmas Eve celebration was different from our usual tradition this year. Instead of Grandma's house, we went to what is referred to in my family as "the farm." This is some land near Amity, Oregon that has been in our family since the 1840's. It isn't really a "farm"... well, sometimes trees are farmed from the land.

My grandfather built a house there in the 1980s, and named it "The Highland House" in honor of our Scottish ancestry. My uncle lives there and manages the property now. I hadn't visited it in at least 10 years, so I got out and walked the property with my brother. It was nice to be outside and it was nice to have some alone time to catch up with my bro.



It started raining pretty hard while we were out walking. I loved how the rain was dropping off of the needles of the trees like little globes, little sparkly globes of water-light.

By the time we got back to the house, and the family party, we were drenched. I now cringe at how I must have looked, sleep deprived and drenched. That must have been why all the relatives were asking when I would be moving back to Oregon.

Uncle of the tree farm was quite insistent that I move back to Oregon soon, and then all my friends can come visit me at the farm and we can do things like bonfires, and swim in the ponds. It would be fun. There is a shadow of an idea in my head.

After Christmas Eve with the extended family, which was wonderful, my parents, my youngest brother, and I drove out to Cannon Beach, where my Grandmother owns a vacation home.

When we were all settled down, we realized that none of us had wrapped our presents. We also were really tired. Especially me. So we just went to bed. But, I made my brother promise that we would get out of bed before noon. (We have had a bit of trouble with him the last few years.) It ended up being me they had to tickle to get out of bed at 10 in the a.m.

Christmas morning we all wrapped the presents, one by one because we had only brought one pair of scissors and one roll of tape, and then unwrapped them one at a time, because there were only four of us and I insisted that we do it that way.

I liked the unwrapping one at a time thing. It was nice to thank everyone appropriately, and see every ones reactions to my gifts. I think that I did okay with the gift giving this year. Wahoo!

After we opened presents we noticed that it was raining. And we saw surfers. It was stormy and the waves were big. I think that the surfers were a little nervous. They stayed near shore most of the time.

After the surfers we saw Santa Claus and Mrs Claus walking on the beach. It was very nice to know that they also think that Cannon Beach is the perfect vacation spot.

My brother and I like to walk on the beach at night, and he had to work the day after Christmas. Even though it was stormy, we knew that we needed to take our walk on Christmas Day night. So, we planned a trek towards Haystack Rock for after it got dark.

After dark I was in my room, answering a few text messages. My brother was anxious to go and got frustrated because he had to wait for me to send a "Merry Christmas" text message off to a few friends.

I took my phone with me on the walk "just in case." It was the last thing my poor cell phone was able to do.

As we walked, both my brother and I were very surprised at the amount of debris on the beach, and the amount of foam on the water. I cracked a joke that Poseidon must be taking his annual bubble bath because of all the foam.

Shortly after my comment I tripped over some debris in the water and then several big waves came in rather quickly, before I could get up and away from the original tripping hazard. The waves went over my head and they knocked my brother down and soaked him completely too.

We both were wearing my brother's headlamps so that we could find seashells, but the headlamp I was wearing got swept away by the sea. (My head was under the water longer than my brother's.) In the chaos, I watched the light shine under the water, in an attempt to try to go after it, but found that I mostly needed to focus on keeping my head above the water. Poor brother's headlamp.

I guess Poseidon doesn't have a sense of humor.

My cell phone was in my pocket. Now it is dead. Poor cell phone. All sandy and corroded by the salt water. I hardly knew you... really, I just barely was figuring out how to save pictures on you. Now, I no longer have the picture of the really big tumbleweed that almost killed me, or the adorable apple-sized pumpkins. All I have is pieces of plastic, metal, and sand.

But, oh, you should have seen the sand that came out of our clothes. After we rinsed off outside I still had sand in the shower an inch thick, and it took three washings to get our clothes clean.

The day after I went down on the beach and took some pictures of the debris. As you can see, there were lots of things that I could have tripped on. That makes me feel a little less clumsy, and a little less like the whole dousing was my fault.

And here is even more debris... almost up to our house... which means the water was really high.

My parents asked me if I had learned any lessons from my experience. I say that the lesson learned is not to make fun of Poseidon's bubble baths. They think that I should have learned to not take my cell phone everywhere.

Sheesh. Parents.

While we were in the Cannon Beach area, we visited the Recently-Damaged-and-At-One-Time-the-Nation's-Tallest-Sitka-Spruce. I was really sad to see it in the condition that it is in. It will probably be have to be cut down, according to the Forestry Service. Sad.

That tree is (by most estimates) 750 years old. That means that it was a little seedling when the Magna Carta was being reissued and changed to get all the bugs worked out.

But, just in case you were wondering, there are still lots of other pretty trees in Oregon. I just worry they won't be around as long.

After we saw the Sitka Spruce, my mom and I walked into the town to do some shopping. I bought some chocolate, and soap. The soap smells good enough to eat. And so did the chocolate.

Then it started pouring. And boy did the wind blow. The weatherman said that we got 2.6 inches of rain in three hours, and winds gusts up to 45 miles per hour. Yep, we were walking in that.

By the time we got home, we were so thoroughly drenched that my mom's cell phone was making popping and crackling noises because the rain had thoroughly soaked it.

I guess cell phones are only for indoor use in Oregon.

My dad had gone into Portland with his cell phone, and my brother was gone to Eugene with his, so my mother and I were without ability to communicate further than our voices could carry for the rest of the day. And that was okay. We were at the beach.

But, the storm kicked up some killer waves, and wind gusts shook the house perfectly. It was just the right atmosphere for snuggling up with a book and hot chocolate.

Too bad we forgot to bring the hot chocolate, but triple wahoo for new Christmas books!

We finally did have one day of good weather. It was the last day we were there. The ocean was calm and blue. Perfect!



And, now I am back in Utah.

Bye! Bye! Oregon!

Another Step Closer to Green Eggs and Ham?

Genetically Engineered Green Pigs. Green Glowing Ham. Yum.

And now I a going to begin my second blog of the day, an anomaly for me. Mostly because I am determined to stay awake until 11 o'clock. I have two hours to fill. The sound of the wind outside is making me nervous about going to sleep. I am afraid that it will effect my dreams. The sound really is poignant... the wind. I feel like I am in a Jack London story... well, one of his Alaska stories. It sounds so cold and lonely outside, but, when I look out the window, I see just a light dusting of snow, and my neighbors' televisions.

I am not as isolated as I feel- and I have a cell phone now. I can call people, even long distance people. It only took me three weeks to get it, after I lost it. I was picky; I didn't want a pink phone. I know that a pink phone would make me the coolest babysitter ever in the mind of my favorite seven-year-old, but I didn't think it would be very professional when it started ringing in a meeting (as it would probably the first week that I had it, because my life is like that.)

I think that I won't go into my dreams... I might wait until after I have consulted my favorite fellow Jungian, Dr. Laura, no, not that Dr. Laura. If you link up to the website, check out Scrabble, under the "Games" tab. I do have to admit that Laura has kicked my butt many times at Scrabble. In fact, pretty much everyone can kick my butt at Scrabble, regardless, Laura is especially good.

I think EKB might make me give up my English degree if I don't stop blogging confessions like "I'm bad at Scrabble," and "I hated Canterbury Tales."

Card Playing Day, National Chocolate Day, The Holy Innocents' Day, December 28th

If you count from Christmas Eve, today is the Fifth Day of Christmas... does someone want to send a true love my way with five golden rings?

The more traditional way to count is from Christmas Day, so I guess I should just be looking for four calling birds. Hmmm, I don't really like birds-- in fact, I would like a pet bird less than a pet rodent. Except ferrets. I hate ferrets even more than housebirds. (Both of these dislikes arose from one unfortunate slumber party experience when I was sixteen.) The way my life is going right now, I will probably end up with the four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, as well as the partridge, all in my living room.

I know I sound bitter. I'm just suffering from the pressures of dealing with the loss of a cell phone and a car...yes, at the same time... but from two different circumstances. I feel like I have been shoved back into the Dark Ages. And it has become very difficult to arrange a tow without a cell phone.

Anyway, speaking of the Dark Ages... we have a very medieval religious holiday for today, The Holy Innocents' Day. This day is in remembrance of the baby boys that were massacred by Herod the King after he discovered that the wise men had deceived him. I find it very interesting that this day is celebrated before Epiphany, January 6th, the day that the wise men arrived to visit the Christ Child. (But, who am I to question the logic of the Catholic Church?) Anyway, by the early Christians, these children are considered the first Christian martyrs.

There are three things that make me cringe about this holy day:

1. It's regarded as The Most Unlucky Day of the Year. (If any more unlucky things happen to me this week... it will push me over the edge. Maybe I'll just stay in bed today.)

2. In England, until the 17th century, children were whipped in the morning to remind them of the "mournfulness" of the day. (Now, some children deserve this... ... You are right, of course you are right, I don't really believe in beating children into religious fervor.)

3. It is traditional to serve food red in color, to remind your guests of the blood of the martyrs. (Why, why, why, would anyone serve food hoping to remind their guests of the blood of slaughtered babies!?)

Anyway, I find it quite interesting that Card Playing Day is held on the unluckiest day of the year. I guess if you just play cards, without any of the traditional betting or other similar competitions, you won't have to worry about luck.

About National Chocolate Day... there are just so many Chocolate Days in the year...and this one isn't even chocolate covered anything! I hardly find this day worth commenting on.

But, I guess that if you eat chocolate and strawberries, while losing a card game, you will have today covered.