Monday, July 31, 2006

Harry Potter's Birthday, July 31st


Last year, Harry was remembered with cupcakes decorated in Gryffindor colors. This year, he just gets four sentences on my blog. Poor Harry. Getting older sucks.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

July 27th is...



This website and this website say that it's Take Your Plant for A Walk Day. But, this website and this website say that it's Take Your Pants for A Walk Day.

I'm so confused. I just don't know if I should walk with my pants or with my plants?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

On the road to health...

Thoughts after being sick and watching too much television:

  • TLC is going downhill, HGTV and the Food Network have all the cool shows
  • The Dean Boys are really cute, and one of them is single
  • Too much Food Network and I think I can cook things like "Roasted Rack of Silverton Lamb 'en Crepinette' with Oregon Hazelnuts, Morels and Wild Nettles with Organic Wheat Berry Pilaf", but I haven't any idea where to buy nettles, or why I would really want to eat them
  • It's a really, really bad idea to watch six episodes of House, M.D. when you are sick. It makes you think that you should have an allergic reaction to at least one of your medications, and if you don't, they must not be working.
  • Also, all the deathly ill women have seemed to remember to get pedicures and their legs waxed before their hospital visits-- I'm a slacker, I would never remember to do such things if I had a seizure and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
  • And, I do have to protest the scary green glowing light in the MRI room at House's hospital- completely unnecessary. I've had MRIs and the light is normal. Unless the green glowing light is supposed to make people go into cardiac arrest.
  • Commercials can make the easiest things look so hard... like sewing on a button ("Why spend a fortune on a seamstress, or go cross-eyed threading a needle when you can have the Buttoneer?" [Why not just throw the damn shirt out if it's that hard to replace the button?])
  • Why, why, why, would anyone need a 15-inch, cable-ready television in their refrigerator door?
  • The sleep timer makes my tv say "Goodnight." How friendly.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Pipe Dreams Day, July 25th


Pipe Dreams Day

According to the above link, opium

"was widely used in some literary circles in England. The opium was smoked in a pipe and usually produced strange visions. The creative writers called these visions "pipe dreams". Today the term is used for farfetched ideas that probably aren't going to happen."


So, let's remember what came from some good pipe dreams! (But, I am not, and would not ever advocate the pipe!) Without these pipe dreams we would not have Xanadu! (I would love to see how James Burke would draw the connections between Coleridge and Newton-John, beyond the obvious that is.)

Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And here were gardens bright with sinuous rills
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced;
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!

The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves:
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 't would win me
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Marvin the Martian's Birthday, Drive-Thru Day, Pioneer Day, July 24th


Marvin the Martian's Birthday

This insignificant planetoid has been found guilty of crimes against the universe, namely, forgetting to blog about one of the most significant birthdays in cartoonland. What does Mr. Martian have to say:"I do believe you are right!" "That wasn't a bit nice." "You have made me very angry - very angry indeed!" "Brace yourself for immediate disintegration."

Drive-Thru Day

Since it's hot all over, it's the perfect day not to cook. Take a trip through the drive-thru. And if you can talk your mom into it get a milkshake with Snickers chopped up inside for dinner. The caramel gets all half frozen-y and yummy. Hmmm, milkshakes.

Pioneer Day

If you are not from, nor ever have lived in Utah during July, you probably will not know about Pioneer Day. Pioneer Day is the celebration of the Mormon Pioneers entering the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847.

The important part of this day is, it's a paid holiday for me, and for most City and State employees, (Yeah!) but, not for Federal employees. Like, the mail still continues to run on Pioneer Day, but City offices are closed. In the private sector things get all messed up. If you have a die-hard Pioneer Day Celebrator for a boss, you get the day off, but if you work in an office that has clients outside of the state, and you have a boss that cares about such things, you stay open. There are sales and fireworks, like the Fourth of July, but doctor's offices are closed, so you had better not have a bottle-rocket go off in your hair, or trip on the escalator at the mall and need stitches, or you will have to go to the emergency room. It's a hard holiday to explain to out-of-state-rs

So, sorry to everyone who had to work yesterday. I didn't work, but I didn't shop the sales either. I was sick and had to go to an emergency clinic to see a doctor, (because the doctors offices are closed, because of the holiday). But, now I have mega-strength antibiotics, an inhaler pump, a nasal spray, (both which leave a horrible metal taste in my mouth) and a decongestant. (This may sound like overkill for a summer cold, but when you have M.S. like I do, doctors don't mess around with the possibility of developing pneumonia. And to be perfectly honest, right now I feel like death warmed over... wait, no, that would just be death.)

So, Happy Pioneer Day to me! (And to you, and if you prefer to call it Mormon Pride, go for it!) But, happiness of happiness, before I got sick, I did get to see Edgy's new living room all painted, and he is right, it is hot!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Ernest Hemingway's Birthday, Make a Scarecrow Day, July 21st

Ernest Hemingway's Birthday, or Make A Scarecrow Day... two very important days. I don't know which one to celebrate.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

National Lollipop Day, Ugly Truck Contest Day, Moon Day, July 20th



Ugly Truck Contest Day

I think that the men in my family can probably win this contest.

My dad taught me how to drive on a red and white, 1965 International Scout. The bed was almost completely rusted out, and we didn't need a key to start it... we just turned the ignition by itself, but I wasn't allowed to tell my brothers that, it was a secret between me and my dad.

Sometime the following the year that I learned how to drive, that truck died, and my dad got his next- a retired forestry truck. When I lived at home, between terms of college, that was my source of transportation. The clutch pedal and the gas pedal were about three feet apart. Perfect for driving in heels and a skirt. I loved it!

My brother, the River Rafter, drives an old rusted Jeep with a neverending carburetor problem, not because he has too, but for ambiance, because we all know that River Raft Guides must drive big buckets of bolts and rust. I think that I lost a few brain cells to gas fumes last time I was his passenger. But it was way cool, because we were going kayaking down a river that was closed to all but professional guides. My brother trusted my kayaking skills enough to let me on a river wild! I felt so cool! I would show a picture of that, because it was one of the most fun experiences of my life... but I can't find them. Sad. That will be my next project- find the cool rafting photos.

Yes, I must say that I love my family's ugly trucks. They make me feel cool.

Moon Day

Because on July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 landed on the surface of the moon, we can now celebrate Moon Day. One website recommends watching Apollo 13. But that doesn't seem right to me, because it's not a movie about the original moon landing, which is what we are supposed to be celebrating.

National Lollipop Day

The very best lollipop is the Tootsie Pop. Probably because it had the best commercial campaign from the 70s-- ever. Because of that campaign I learned that owls are smart. No other birds can count, right? One... two... three! Licks to the center!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Flitch Day, Stick your Tongue Out Day, National Raspberry Cake Day, July 19th

The days we missed on July 19th

Flitch Day

On this day, a slab of bacon was given to any couple who could prove that they had lived the previous year "in perfect harmony and fidelity." (I, for one, would like to know how they prove the harmony. Even from a musical view, a lack of dissonance does not mean that a chord is harmonious.)

Stick Your Tongue Out Day

To all the couples who flaunt that they have the perfect relationships by "taking home the bacon" we can stick out our tongues in their general direction, and we can feel justified, because it is "Stick Your Tongue Out Day."

National Raspberry Cake Day

Do we need more of a reason to eat fresh raspberries? Yum! Yum!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hot

And this is when the air conditioning broke, and all air flow in the office stopped. And the Executive Assistant who had sat through a two hour meeting discussing how unprepared everyone is for the Bird Flu, could now hear everyone coughing and sniffling throughout the entire office because of the lack of the blowing air. The stale, stagnant, disease-ridden public air.

And this is when the Executive Assistant began to feel feverish, and her throat ticklish, but eventually she convinced herself that it's just plain hot.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

National Ice Cream Day, July 16th



National Ice Cream Day

And for all of you ice cream lovers, or just those of you trying to think of some good reason to eat ice cream, the 3rd Sunday in July is always National Ice Cream Day, declared so by President Reagan- see the following proclamation.

Proclamation 5219 -- National Ice Cream Month and National Ice Cream Day, 1984

July 9, 1984; By the President of the United States of America-A Proclamation

Ice cream is a nutritious and wholesome food, enjoyed by over ninety percent of the people in the United States. It enjoys a reputation as the perfect dessert and snack food. Over eight hundred and eighty-seven million gallons of ice cream were consumed in the United States in 1983.

The ice cream industry generates approximately $3.5 billion in annual sales and provides jobs for thousands of citizens. Indeed, nearly ten percent of all the milk produced by the United States dairy farmers is used to produce ice cream, thereby contributing substantially to the economic well-being of the Nation's dairy industry.

The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 298, has designated July 1984 as "National Ice Cream Month," and July 15, 1984, as "National Ice Cream Day," and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of these events.

Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim July 1984 as National Ice Cream Month and July 15, 1984, as National Ice Cream Day, and I call upon the people of the United States to observe these events with appropriate ceremonies and activities.

In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this ninth day of July, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-four, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and ninth.

Ronald Reagan

[Filed with the Office of the Federal Register, 10:32 a.m., July 10, 1984]
So, there it is. A national proclamation to enjoy ice cream. We had better not ignore this. We need to prepare to enjoy this "perfect snack food" on this official holiday and need to "observe these events with appropriate ceremonies and activities." Forget those diets, this is a matter of national importance!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Middle of July "What is there to do?" July 15th



July 15th

I remember summer vacations... wow, summer vacations, almost makes me want to switch occupations, anyway, right about now I would be bored stiff. Swimming lessons would be over, and the last little must-do-everything-before-school-starts-frenzy had not begun. Right about now it would be hot and boring, and my poor mother would be asked about 697 times a day "What is there to do?" The poor woman didn't know about all these daily holidays that she could have entertained me and my three brothers with.

Winnie the Pooh Day, Go Hug a Cow Day, Tapioca Pudding Day, Respect Canada Day, Toss Away the Could Haves and Should Haves Day, Gummi Worm Day, or Personal Chef's Day, Shark Awareness Day, Woodie Wagon Day, Ice Cream Cone Day

That's right, ten days to celebrate today, if you can't find anything else to do. If you get really creative you can celebrate all ten... like sticking gummi worms and tapioca pudding in your ice cream cone while sneaking out to go cow tipping on your way to the aquarium to learn about sharks in your woodie wagon while reading Winnie the Pooh, and calling your personal chef on the way to order a Canadian meal to be ready when you get back so you don't worry about any could haves or should haves today.

But, that's not what I am doing today. I'm meeting some friends for Thai food, and we might go to a movie after dinner. Ya' see, adult summers are like that. We do pretty much what we do in the winter. Cow tipping sounds so much more fun.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

A Week Full of Days, July 13th


There are seven holidays to celebrate today, so I am positive that you can find the perfect one for you.

Gruntled Workers Day
I can't celebrate this one because at this moment, I am disgruntled. Over a brochure. Stupid work. I need to find some gruntled people to hang out with, and maybe some the their gruntledness will rub off on me.

Embrace Your Geekness Day
I read encyclopedias for fun.

Feast of Lanterns, or the Festival of the Oban, Day of the Dead. To celebrate you will need to float colorful paper lanterns lit by candles down a river to guide the spirits of loved ones passed on safely back to the land of the dead, because we don't them haunting us. Perhaps just eat some Japanese food to honor the dead.

Fool's Paradise Day somehow fits in with Go West Day and the fact that Disneyland is celebrating some fun stuff this year. But if you don't go to Disneyland perhaps barbers Music Appreciation Day can take you to your fools paradise.

National French Fry Day That one should be easy. Just don't call them Freedom Fries, or you will be Embracing Your Geekness

Different Colored Eyes Day, Pecan Pie Day, July 12th


Different Colored Eyes Day

If you are like me, you have always wanted a different color for your eyes. Yes, I want deep dark teddy bear brown eyes, with blonde hair. God really disappointed me.

I have tried out brown contacts, and the new eyes staring back at me just felt right, until I noticed that anyone looking at me from the side could see the blue underneath. Harumph!

Well, if you want to try out some colored lenses, for cosmetic reasons, this website is offering a free set, if you purchase two other sets. I wonder if they have any the shade of pecan pie? That shade might not be so clashy with my blue... No, I have done too many dramatic things to my coloring today, my hair was brown this morning. Now it is black.

Pecan Pie Day

Have some Pecan Pie y'all!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

7-Eleven Day, July 11th


7-Eleven Day

Rumor has it that on July 11th, you can get a free Slurpee at any 7-Eleven C-store... Why? Because it is 7-11 silly one! There are conditions, for instance, the free size is 7.11 oz, and each participating store only has 1,000 of the 7.11 oz promotional cups. And unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an official press release from 7-11 promoting the event, or even any publicity on their web page. Even this page devoted to Slurpees states that they anticipate the tradition of the last four years will be continued. (But, that means they don't know for sure that it is happening. Oh the agony of not knowing!)

So, please, if you go to 7-11 today, and don't get a free Slurpee, please don't get all mad at me. I might cry.

Hopefully, there will be free Slurpees, but if there are not, and if you are disappointed beyond hope at the lack of free Slurpees, this list of 7-11 facts will make up for the machinations of the 7-11 marketing department, well maybe not completely, but the "Fun Facts & Trivia" made me laugh.

July 11 (7/11) is the official birthday of the 7-Eleven convenience store chain.

In 1927, convenience retailing began simply enough when an employee of Southland Ice Company in Dallas started selling milk, eggs and bread from the ice dock. Soon, the convenience store was born and became known as 7-Eleven to reflect the 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. hours of operation.

With approximately 5,800 stores in the United States and Canada and more than 27,900 worldwide, 7-Eleven is the largest convenience retailer in the world.

7-Eleven was the first to … operate 24 hours a day … sell fresh-brewed coffee in to-go cups ... have a self-serve soda fountain … and offer super-size drinks.

7-Eleven took the No. 1 spot in Restaurants & Institutions magazine's convenience store concept category in the publication'’s 37th annual ranking of the top 400 restaurant concepts by sales. 7-Eleven ranked No. 15 overall in the survey.

7-Eleven has the largest ATM network of any retailer in United States.

First television advertising by any convenience store; the animated commercial featured a singing owl and rooster ran in 1949.

7-Eleven was the first c-store retailer to give customers freedom of choice by offering all major soft drink brands at the fountain.

7-Eleven was the first convenience store to sell pre-paid phone cards.

Of all U.S. retailers, 7-Eleven sells the most USA Today newspapers, Sports Illustrated magazines, cold beer, cold single-serve bottled water, cold Gatorade, fresh-grilled hot dogs, single-serve chips and money orders.

In a four-week period, customers visit a 7-Eleven store an average of 17 times, 80 percent of their total trips to any convenience store.

Nearly one-third of the 6 million people who stop by a 7-Eleven store each day purchase immediately consumable food.

7-Eleven is America's favorite beverage destination. More than half the customers each day purchase a non-alcoholic beverage.

A typical 7-Eleven store is between 2,400 and 3,000 square feet, and carries about 2,500 different items.

Who? What? Where? Who's buying the most 7-Eleven stuff? The answer is the most Slurpee beverages in the world are purchased in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada; and for the United States, it's Detroit; hot dogs in Washington, D.C., coffee on Long Island, nachos in Colorado, Big Gulp drinks in Las Vegas and Utah. [What's up with all the other top consumers just being cities and Utah the state gets a distinction of being a top guzzler?]

California has more 7-Eleven stores than any other state close to 1,200.

Of all its proprietary products, 7-Eleven sells more fresh-brewed coffee than anything else more than 1 million cups each day. That's more than 10,000 pots of coffee an hour every hour of every day of the year. In fact, 7-Eleven could serve a cup of coffee to every person in its hometown of Dallas every single day now that's a Texas-sized coffee break!

7-Eleven sells close to 100 million fresh-grilled hot dogs every year, more than any other retailer in America, and could feed every person in hot dog-loving Chicago a Big Bite hot dog each day for a month.

7-Eleven was the first retailer to offer fresh-brewed coffee in to-go cups, introducing it in their Northeast stores in 1964.

Beverages biggest & best: 7-Eleven was the first retailer to introduce self-serve fountain drinks. When the 32-ounce Big Gulp was introduced in 1980, it was the biggest cup on the market. In 1988, 7-Eleven introduced the giant 64-ounce Double Gulp, the biggest soft drink on the market.

Last year 7-Eleven stores sold almost 33 million gallons of fountain drinks enough to fill 75 Olympic-size swimming pools.

7-Eleven customers sip and slurp 11.6 million Slurpee beverages each month. Favorite flavors are Coca-Cola and Minute Maid Cherry. Since its introduction in 1966, close to 6 billion Slurpee drinks have been sold, just about enough for every person on the planet to have slurped.

7-Eleven registered the term brainfreeze in 1994 to communicate the painful joy of drinking a frozen Slurpee beverage.

7-Eleven sells 60 million fresh-baked donuts and pastries per year enough to feed every person in the state of Virginia a dozen donuts!

If you lined up all the World Ovens bakery items made for 7-Eleven in a year, they would extend almost 6,000 miles from Boston to San Diego and back again.

How sweet it is! 7-Eleven uses 365,000 pounds of glaze each month on its donuts, fritters and other pastries.

Most customers want a beverage with their favorite donut; 70 percent choose a cup of 7-Eleven coffee.

Blueberry is at the top of the hill as the best-selling World Ovens muffin across the country. World Ovens Bakery is 7-Eleven stores proprietary line of fresh-baked items.

7-Eleven sells 41 million gallons of milk each year enough for lots of milk mustaches! And enough to pour more than two glasses of milk for every man, woman and child in the United States. (7-Eleven Newsroom)
Enjoy!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Don't Step On A Bee Day, Clerihew Day, Teddy Bear Picnic Day, July 10th


Don't Step On A Bee Day

Please don't step on a bee. You really don't want to. It really hurts. and especially today, it might hurt more... apparently. Not much more to say on that matter. Except that I got stung by a bee on my last birthday, and I have to say it wasn't my favorite present.

Clerihew Day

First created by Edmund Clerihew Bentley, a clerihew is "a humorous, pseudo-biographical verse of four lines of uneven length, with the rhyming scheme AABB, and the first line containing the name of the subject." (Wordsmith.org)

The first clerihew ever written was this:

Sir Humphry Davy
Detested gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered Sodium.
-- Edmund Clerihew Bentley

I might try to write my own later, but now, it's time for bed, and I am not thinking cleverly.

Teddy Bear Picnic Day

I love the Teddy Bear Picnic song. I especially love the Jerry Garcia version, and the fact that he did a childrens book with the song.

Last year I discovered that my dad had never heard Jerry sing about the teddy bears picnicing. So, on our whirlwind tour of the national parks in Wyoming and Montana, and we must not forgetDinosaur, we listened to The Teddy Bear Picnic over and over again, until he believed it was Jerry Garcia. (I also made him listen to four different versions of the Rainbow Connection and and Somewhere Over the Rainbow sung by Israel Kamakawiwo`ole... to improve his education.) It made up for the horrid book on tape that we were also listening to.

Anyway, while you all are out and about on your teddy bear picnics, remember to try not to step on a bee.

Saturday, July 8, 2006

Video Game Day, Kilt Day, July 8th

Video Games Day

I hate video games. I never win.

Kilt Day

Did you wear your kilt today?

Today, I went to the Payson Scottish Festival. I love bagpipes, and shortbread, and men in kilts, and so I had a very good time. And it was sort of like a video game.






We sampled some Scottish food that I have never tried before, mostly meat products wrapped in pastry, but it was quite tasty. And we had shortbread. They never have shortbread in video games, but sometimes they have food.



We saw some things for sale in the booths that should never be sold. Not ever. Because although video game women might look good in things like that, real women don't.






Many cabers were tossed, which I found much more impressive than reaching level three of Super Mario Brothers. There was even a girl tossing a few about. And hers broke. Scottish women are pretty strong.







And there were a few medieval people roaming around, looking like they crawled out of a castle-themed video game. I was okay with that, because it was fun to watch the sword fights. But, I wasn't quite sure why they were wandering around at the Scottish Fest.





I could post a bunch of video of the bagpipe competition... but I am not sure if everyone enjoys that sort of thing. I do, which is why I have one whole memory card of bagpipe video. I think I will just send it off to my dad. He will like it.



Okay. Call me a nerd. Here are the bagpipes.



Talk Like A Pirate Day, September 19th


Because Anonymous requested that I post a year in advance, I decided to go and check out that new piratey movie thing in preparation for Talk Like A Pirate Day, on September 19th.

So, I lost one of my earrings while standing in a really long line. Just one of my earrings, so I looked like a pirate and didn't even know it.

I don't know how long it was missing from my ear, because the two very cute very well dressed boys standing behind me gave it back to me after we had been in line for at least an hour. Apparently, they noticed that I was missing one of my earrings, (yes, they did and I didn't notice that I was missing an earring, how lame am I?) and they looked around until they found it.

But, the movie was good. I am going to completely agree with Nemesis's opinion of the flick: Specifically, I too, enjoyed it, but not as much as the first one. I probably might have enjoyed it more if we didn't have people sitting behind us with the breath of death, and an unfortunate seat kicking habit. Stony looks did not settle the legs of these high school kids. With the smelly breath and twitchy legs going on, it almost wasn't worth it to sit through the long, long credits for the final extra scene. It wasn't a spectacular extra scene.

But, do go see Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare for Talk Like A Pirate Day! (It's only 72 days away!) I promise that you probably won't lose your earring.

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Other Holidays...



July 6th is... National Fried Chicken Day

July 5th was... Workaholics Day

July 4th was (other than Independence Day)... National Country Music Day, Sidewalk Egg Frying Day, and Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day (How did I miss Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day?!?!?!)

July 2nd was... International Joke Day, and I Forgot Day

July 1st was... Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day and Build a Scarecrow Day

June 30th was... Superman's Birthday (though I have found other days that claim that fame) and Meteor Day

June 29th was... Camera Day

June 28th was... PAUL BUNYAN DAY AND I MISSED IT!!!!!


Happy late Paul Bunyan Day to my favorite little kiddittles (Sweetpea, FF&AHYO, & Squishy Checks) who have made Paul Bunyan a regular visitor to my little apartment.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

The Weeks of July



July 1st-8th

National Unassisted Homebirth Week (I was an unassisted homebirth- I don't think my parents would recommend it); Special Recreation Week; Freedom From Fear of Speaking Week; Be Nice to New Jersey Week; Freedom Week;

July 10th-16th

Nude Recreation Weekend

July 9th-15th

Take Charge of Change Week; National Farriers Week; National Therapeutic Recreation Week; Sports Cliche Week; Nude Beach Week;

July 15th-22st

Rabbit Week; Captive Nations Week; National Independent Retailers' Week; National Baby Food Week;

July 23rd-31st

Make up your own week!

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

July Is.... Month


July is the seventh month of the year, named for Julius Caesar. In the northern hemisphere, July is usually the warmest part of the summer, and sometimes is called the dog days of summer, because of the rising of Sirius, the "dog" star. The full moon during July can have many names, Buck Moon, Blood Moon, Sturgeon Moon, Hay Moon, or the Full Thunder Moon. (My favorite is the Full Thunder Moon.)

Most of July's monthly celebrations seem to involve picnic-food. Maybe that means that we should all quit work and go on picnics every afternoon. Sweet! Anyone want to dare me?

National American Beer Month; Anti-Boredom Month; National Baked Bean Month; Blueberries Month; National Boredom Month; Cell Phone Courtesy Month; National Corn Month; National Doghouse Repairs Month; Family Reunion Month; National Grilling Month; Herbal Remedy Month; Hitchhiking Month (not safe); National Home Inspector Appreciation Month; National Horseradish Month; National Hot Dog Month; National Hyperhidrosis Education Month; National Ice Cream Month; National Purposeful Parenting Month; National Picnic Month; National Parks and Recreation Month; Prescription Awareness Month; National Read An Almanac Month; Roots and Branches Month; Smart Irrigation Month; Social Wellness Month; National Voluntary Blood Donation Month (so tell the mosquitoes to go away, you are not volunteering); National Tennis Month; National UV Safety Month; National Wheelchair Beautification Month; Women's Motorcycle Month

Monday, July 3, 2006

Air Conditioning Appreciation Days, Stay Out Of The Sun Day, Disobedience Day, July 3rd


Air Conditioning Appreciation Days and Stay Out Of The Sun Day

I feel conflicted. I don't feel that I can fully appreciate air conditioning unless I stand out under the heat of the sun for some part of the day, and then go into the enveloping coolness of the air conditioning But, then I would be violating the second holiday. Oh, the agony of making decisions! Perhaps you will be better able to manage your celebratory method.

Disobedience Day

So there isn't just a whole bunch of chaos on Disobedience Day, maybe we should focus on civil disobedience. Thoreau wrote an essay titled Civil Disobedience. My favorite quote from that essay is,

"No man with a genius for legislation has appeared in America. They are rare in the history of the world. There are orators, politicians, and eloquent men, by the thousand; but the speaker has not yet opened his mouth to speak who is capable of settling the much-vexed questions of the day."
That is still true today. We have problems, and no-one has solutions. We get hopeful when new leaders run for election, but then they all just turn out weird.

Anyway, today is a perfect day to read Civil Disobedience, perhaps plan a rally of your own. Tomorrow will be a perfect day to exercise your freedoms with a little civil disobedience. Just make sure it's for a good cause.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

Sunday Bliss

Sitting in church with my favorite four and a half year old

FF&AHYO: Draw a house
AMS: Okay
FF&AHYO: Now a tree
AMS: **scratches on paper**
FF&AHYO: Now a cat
AMS: With whiskers?
FF&AHYO: Yeah!
AMS: There!
FF&AHYO: Now a dog
AMS: Uh... okay
FF&AHYO: That doesn't look like a dog
AMS: I know. I'm a bad draw-er
FF&AHYO: It looks like a dinosaur
AMS: Yep, you're right. It looks like a Brontosaurus
FF&AHYO: Can you draw a dog now?
AMS: I don't think that I can. Sometimes when we ask for a dog, we get a Brontosaurus.