Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I have been accused....

I have been accused of not having a sense of humor because I have to redo sixteen pages of spreadsheets because some accountant, on the west coast, does not like what I have named the individual line items, and he wants three columns moved to different places on the sheets, and he doesn't like my shading... nevermind that all the formulea are correct, the columns contain information that is not quantifiable, and therefore it doesn't matter where on the sheet they are, and the information contained within the sixteen sheets, is accurate... they still must be redone, and the shading eliminated (because why would we want to make the lines more readable?) to pacify the accountant.

So, to prove to the universe that I have a sense of humor, I am sharing some things I found funny today while I was searching the internet for a reason to exhist on my lunch break. (Okay, I know that there is a dangling modifier in there, but I don't know how to fix it quickly...)

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me."
-- Winnie the Pooh, character created by author A. A. Milne (It's Winnie the Pooh Day today)

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." - Douglas Adams

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it. " -W. C. Fields

"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

And finally, my favorite...

Comment
by Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.


Okay... maybe I don't have a sense of humor... maybe I'm raging against the machine today.

6 comments:

edgy killer bunny said...

I don't think you lack a sense of humor. As if an accountant has any authority to make such a claim.

Absent-minded Secretary said...

Yeah, stupid accountants. It's much easier to manipulate words than numbers. Thanks for letting me play in the comments on your blog.

edgy killer bunny said...

Are you kidding? Had I known you were going to do that, I might have actually started it sooner.

Master Fob said...

Had I known you were going to do that, I'd have started bugging Edgy to start it sooner sooner.

Absent-minded Secretary said...

I didn't know I was going to do it until I started it, otherwise I would have tried to drop hints.

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