Tristan & Isolde

Tonight I finally got to see Tristan & Isolde. This is one of my favorite stories, and I have been dying to see it. But, no-one else seemed as interested as I was, probably due to the lukewarm reviews, maybe for reasons that I can't comprehend... anyway, finally I got someone to go see it with me and we made plans for tonight. My friend, Beautiful Brown-Eyed Dave (I call him this because I have four friends named Dave or David and I need to separate them in my mind) agreed to meet me at my apartment around 8:30 or 9:00 so we could grab something to eat before we went to the 10:30 show. At 10:15 he finally arrived and we...
BBED: Hey, that's not fair. I had a perfectly good excuse for being late.
AMS: I forgot to mention that BBED is still here. He decided that we need to watch another love tragedy to round out the night, and so we are watching Romeo and Juliet.
BBED: Did you mention the donuts?
AMS: And we are eating Krispy Kreme Donuts from Smiths. Which was closed when we went to purchase said donuts. Apparently, the Smiths in Pleasant Grove is not 24 hours, and not open on Sunday, unlike the Provo Smiths.
BBED: It wasn't even 1pm.
AMS: You pried the doors open. I am still in shock over that. It was completely unnecessary. Walmart is just a block down the street. I am never going to be able to show my face in the Pleasant Grove Smiths again.
BBED: The lights were on and there were employees in clear view. Walmart doesn't have KK Donuts.
AMS: I am not going to win this argument, obviously, since this is the third or fourth time we have had it. We were lucky we weren't arrested. Then we would have had to call someone who wouldn't mind driving to P.G. in the middle of the night to come bail us out of jail because we were too lazy to drive to Orem. Anyway, we were fifteen minutes late for the movie. So by the time we got there, we had missed the previews, opening credits, and part of the movie. (Which means I need to go see it again to catch the beginning.) We sat down, and BBED had to ask me to catch him up, which should have been unnecessary because he should have had read the same book that I had in the Film-as-Lit-Class-that-Wasn't-Really-Film-as-Lit-
but-Should-Have-Been-Titled-Romance-In-Literature-and-Movies.
BBED: What book?
AMS: Just a minute. I'll look it up. Oh, gag me, look at Amazon, all the books are about kissing.
BBED: You're complaining about that when will have watched two kissing movies when the evening is done?
AMS: Yes I can complain, because every one who kisses ends up dead. It's the whole concept that Amazon is preparing for V-Day. It's such a overrated holiday. Yes, I'm a bitter, single old woman. Here's the book: We : Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love, by Robert A. Johnston. And it was a good book. I can't believe that you don't remember it. Fine, ignore me. So, anyway, I catch him up to where we are in the movie, I think, and the little girl who is supposed to be playing Isolde is speaking with a British accent. She is supposed to be Irish. That bugs me.
BBED: You didn't tell me that during the movie...
AMS: Because, generally, I don't talk in movies, unless I have a brilliant insight that must be shared.
BBED: (Ignores AMS)
AMS: Isolde's father the Irish King has a Scottish accent, which was also annoying. When we got to the first romantic part and BBED says "You know, they wouldn't speak the same language." I said, "Who?" because I was a little absorbed in the movie. BBED said, "Tristan & Isolde. He was Cornish, and she was Irish. They were two different languages." I said: "They were both forms of Gaelic... maybe they could understand."
BBED: Give me that. (Referring to the laptop) Irish hello: "CÃead míle fÃeilte romhat!" Cornish hello: "Durdathawhy" Do those look like they are pronounced the same?
AMS: That is not a fair comparison. You forget I am watching you. The Irish was more correctly translated as "A million welcomes" and the Cornish was the formal hello.
BBED: Irish: "Dia dhuit" Cornish: "Dydh da"
AMS: Which might be pronounced similarly! Ha!
BBED: There were lots of other problems with the movie.
AMS: Just because you couldn't suspend belief for two hours...
BBED: There was glitter. You said that it was supposed to be Pre-Christian, and there was glitter, and the dancing was clearly not Pre-Christian.
AMS: Arthurian texts always have historical inaccuracies and continuity problems. Look at Geoffrey of Monmouth.
BBED: Who?
AMS: History of the Kings of Britian, he had all sorts of problems with reality. And all the French romances, when they get mixed in with Malory people start confusing Lancelot and Tristan, and there are two Elaines...
BBED: What about The Sword and the Stone? There aren't continuity problems in there.
AMS: I believe that you are referring to T.H. White's The Once and Future King with Merlin living backwards, and if that isn't a continuity problem, I don't know what is. But, that is a very good book, and if you haven't read it, I would recommend it. Much more than History of the Kings of Britian. King Arthur was my senior course... you remember, you shouldn't argue with me about this... I don't even attempt to argue Milton with you.
BBED: Because you haven't read Milton.
AMS: I did so! I read part Paradise Lost. But then I got lost...
BBED: I know, I know, and you had to use Cliff as a map through Paradise.
AMS: I did like the description of Lucifer falling from heaven.
BBED: You, don't like good literature.
AMS: Excuse me! This is my blog! I don't have to take this from you!

Back to my commentary on the movie... Overall, it was mediocre. I was disappointed about a few deviations from the original story.

BBED: Disappointed! That's an understatement. You couldn't stop talking about the draught!
AMS: Obviously, I did because we bought donuts.
BBED: Don't forget about the Cherry Lime-aides.
AMS: And we are drinking Cherry Lime-aides to commorate the fact that the movie left out the magic draught. Anyway, I have decided that I need to learn how to knit, so that when I get married my husband will look like this in a sweater.
BBED: Right there is another problem, they kept on plunging themselves in the Northern Atlantic waters like they weren't cold. Haven't they ever seen Titanic?
AMS: Some people did not grow up in California. Some people understand that if they want to be one with the wild that is the ocean, they must get cold.
BBED: Don't get all Northern Oregon Coastal on me. I just was making the observation that they didn't even wince when stepping into the cold, cold water.
AMS: I am sure that if you are a coastal people, and living north of the 45th parallel, you get used to the cold water, and don't wince every time you step into it. Or your feet naturally grow numb. And who cares if your feet are numb if your heart is warm and your lips are being kissed.