Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Escargot Day, May 24th


"Mon dessin ne representait pas un chapeau. Il representait un serpent boa qui digerait un elephant." (Antoine de Saint Exupery)

I can't believe that it is only Tuesday night. Theoretically, I have already worked enough time this week for it to be early Thursday morning. And it has been the worst kind of work. The kind where I have to wait around for people to ask me to do things. I hate that. I hate it because it can be so stressfully unproductive. When 4pm rolls around and I haven't taken a lunch (for the second day in a row) and I start wishing that I would have known at 10am (when I had a two hour stretch without anything to do) that I would have had the time then to eat, so I could have taken an early lunch... Well, I think it's just wrong to wish that I could go back in time six hours so I can eat by myself, in my car, with the radio playing loudly, to drown out the endless sound of office that is now permanently ringing in my ears.

At times like this I wish I was a snail. Not a snail farm snail, mind you, just a harmless little spineless garden snail with a simple mind and my house on my back. No worries. As it turns out, snails are quite developed little creatures. They even have discriminate tastes. I think that I could like the life of a snail. I wouldn't have to worry about turning 35 without having reproduced if I were a snail. If I were a snail, I might have as many as 300,000 babies by now. Imagine, 300,000 little absent-minded snails wandering around the world. If I had 300,000 babies, I wouldn't have to worry about "and guest" invitations.

Stupid snails.

I guess the French have it right. We should eat snails, (stupid creatures that don't have to worry about social norms) and in mass quantities. We should eat so many snails that we look like we have swallowed elephants. Mucho, mucho snails. Here are some recipies... you can make your own.

Happy Escargot Day!

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