Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Three Bad Things About Living Alone


1. Four days of Pumpkin Bread and two days of tuna noodle casserole. Enough said.

2. I don't have anyone to rant to at the end of my work day. On particularly frustrating days that means that some of my friends get phone calls where, after quickly meeting the initial politenesses, I enter into a five minute rage about the stupidity of... things, where my unfortunate victim can only make an occasional agreement grunt. Sorry all.

3. I feel no shame when I cry freely when Hurley's girlfriend Libby dies, but secretly I am crying because I just want Hurley for myself. How can any girl resist the mystique of Say Anything-type wooing? I am so pathetic. House is a much better T.V. crush. Go back to House, Absent. It's only been 24 hours since you have seen him. You can't be so shallow to be over him so easily. You must continue to long for his silver tongue.

But then tomorrow, my dear friends Will and Grace, and my pretend co-workers at The Office. Sigh. I hate being addicted to T.V.

4. I know that I have been known to walk, talk, and even make phone calls in my sleep, but lately I have been doing yoga poses in my sleep. Not good. I need to find a way to get out of the habit of waking up in blind, stabbing pain because I have twisted my body up like a curly fry. Or I need to get creative with my stories. "Yes, yes, I did stub my toe." Or, "You are right, my back hurts a bit... I'm not sure why, it's definitely not because I woke up at four a.m. in extreme pain with my left foot under my right ribcage, because that would be weird."

It's hopeless, isn't it. I'm going to be the crazy cat lady soon.

7 comments:

Briam said...

anon's a freaking idiot.
AMS, I had no idea you were a Hugh Laurie fan. I feel closer to you now more than ever.

Absent-minded Secretary said...

Yeah, I'm just going to delete those spammed comments. I've never been spammed before (on the blog) and I can't figure out how four got through on one post.

I am not sure if I am a Hugh Laurie fan, I know he's British, but I can't recall anything else, other than Sense and Sensibility that he has been in where I have liked him. I just really, really like his House character.

Briam said...

I'm reading his book right now, The Gun Seller. It's good, sorta like James Bond meets PG Wodehouse. I think he's brilliant.

Absent-minded Secretary said...

I had no idea that he wrote. How lame am I?

Absent-minded Secretary said...

Hey all you editor-type people, I left you fodder for comments, and not one of you touched this. Sheesh. You try to make someone happy and no-one notices. :) eyawwb!

edgy killer bunny said...

Well, I was going to make kind and compassionate comments about your phone calls or your cat-lady problems, but after your last comment, which doesn't even take into account that I haven't checked blogs for two days now, all I have to say is pbbblt.

Absent-minded Secretary said...

Bunny! I've been missing you! If you don't post any comments on my site for seven days I feel like I have to provoke comments with mis-numbered lists, because I know how much you love my mis-numbered lists.