Saturday, May 27, 2006

"How To" Tip for the Day, May 27th

How To Confuse the People You Play Football With

Step 1

The football is thrown to you, while you are playing catch, and you throw it back with a perfect spiral with your right hand.

Step 2

The football is handed off to you during the "game" and as part of a flea-flicker pass you throw it to the quarterback with your left hand.

Step 3

The next time you get the ball you will be completely confused about which hand is supposed to throw it, so confused you get sacked, but you can walk it off by saying that you lost the ball in the low cloud cover.

People might not believe you, but, really, it's less embarrassing and takes less time to explain than "I had to stop to think about which hand to use."

(Left-handed people aren't usually this handedly challenged, it's uniquely me, and I place all the blame on my first-grade teacher who taught me that "right is the hand you write with.")

Also, I declare it to be French Toast Weekend. At this site you can find over 100 recipes for french toast: Carmel Pecan French Toast, Creme Brulee French Toast, 12 different recipes for Stuffed French Toast. Umm, ummm, umm, Yum!


xgeronimo said...

do you know the address of your first grade teacher? If yes, send your gratitude from ;)

Josué said...

I think all left-handed people are actually sort-of ambidextrous. I've always wondered if left-handed people come that way or if it is just a neccessary adaptation from working with all the things in the world that are designed with right-handed use in mind.

A substitute in pre-kindergarten kept taking my crayon out of my left hand and putting it in my right hand. I was pissed. I think I might have cried. I might have yelled at her. I do remember that I somehow got in trouble over it. Luckily, none of my real teachers were as daft as your 1st grade teacher, or I probably would have been a bad student instead of a good student.

Th. said...



Is there a difference between left and right? I thought that was a myth!

Absent-minded Secretary said...

Th: Driving with you must be an adventure.

Josue: I wish I were more ambidextrous, I'm afraid that mostly I'm just athletically confused. I have friends who pay for my bowling shoe rental just to laugh at my footwork.

And I probably shouldn't have slandered my teacher so, she was probably just trying to teach the class a quick way to remember left and right and she didn't have to teach me how to write, so she probably didn't remember that I was left handed. I knew that I was left-handed, like my grandma, but her little saying made sense to me and so I didn't really make the connection that left-handed meant that you wrote with your left hand not your "write hand" until fourth grade when I had a teacher call me "Lefty". Then everything came clear. But, by then, the damage was done. I still have to make an "L" with my left hand to remember it is my left hand.