Dear Next Door Neighbor:
Dear Next Door Neighbor:
I realize that we have only met passing in the vestibule during the wee hours of the morning, when both of us have been making our way home from various social activies. I realize as well that sometimes there isn't a reason to leave your apartment on a Saturday until late in the afternoon. In fact, sometimes, on an occasional Saturday, there isn't a reason to leave your apartment at all. But, if your friends are going to leave you a turkey on your doorstep, perhaps you should poke your head out your door to see if it has arrived.
The turkey wasn't there last night at 11 pm. But it was there this morning at 7 am. It was still there at 1 pm. And now, at 4 pm, when I poke my head out with extreme curiosity to see if it is still there... it is.
I probably should knock on your door to let you know about said turkey. I have visions of Samonella, Botulism, and Avian Influenza floating in my head... but, I also am curious to see how long it will remain there.
Curiousity wins. 
6 comments:
.
Hooray for turkeys.
Lest anyone think that I am not nice, I did knock on the door aroud 6pm and he didn't answer. It's now past 11pm and it's still there, though not in the same upright postion that it once was. I think the courtyard dogs might have something to do with that. I want to go out and take a picture so show a before and after, but now I am afraid that he will catch me, and I will have to go into some rambling explaination as to why I was taking pictures of his turkey at almost midnight.
I dare you to put some pants on it! You must have some baby clothes around that you bought for an expectant friend. Well, she won't miss them...
Dress the turkey!
Or at least put sunglasses on it.
For $5, I'd still eat the Doorstep Turkey, even after all this time (and after possible courtyard dog attacks).
That's just the kind of guy I am. I love to live on the edge. PLUS, I love getting $5 from people.
But if I had a choice between eating doorstep turkey or punching it, I'd punch it. Because I've never punched raw turkey, and I love punching new stuff.
ll: I do have some baby clothes in my closet... but I'm saving them for your first baby, who is required to be a girl, and must like pink hearts.
Dogers: I would recommend punching the turkey over eating it. I would pay you $5 NOT to eat it. It is still there, and we are going on 40 hours of spring weather. I can see the blood pooling on one side, which would probably make a dramatic punch.
It does not yet stinketh, but it will soon.
Post a Comment